Study No. 9
WHO SHOULD HANDLE THE CHEQUEBOOK?

A recent survey by a New York City advertising agency shows that in two-thirds of the households studied, the wife makes out the cheques and pays the bills regardless of whether she works outside the home. Many women do a good job at it. Of course, so do many men.

The one who should handle the chequebook is the mate who can do it best. Four things seem to be most necessary in being "good" at this particular job: ability, motivation, discipline and time. Newspaper writer Sylvia Auerbach calls it "money sense". She adds, "Does this mean that the other partner, be it husband or wife, should just shuck off responsibility or, worse yet, never be kept informed? Absolutely not! Each partner in a good marriage should know what's going on in general, although perhaps not on a day-to-day basis. And all major decisions -- insurance, investments, major expenditures -- should be made together."

TWO MONEY TIPS FOR HUSBANDS

If a wife does have emotional difficulties handling the chequebook then the husband should definitely do that job.

Always give your wife an adequate amount of money to carry in her purse so that she can buy small items without asking. Just as a man enjoys being able to buy a pack of gum or a new hammer when he sees what he wants, so a wife needs that feeling of freedom and well-being too. No less than $10.00 a week should be hers with no questions asked about how she spends it.

A FINAL WORD ON THE SUBJECT OF WORKING WIVES

All wives work. They work hard whether or not they ever take on an outside job. They should never be forced into outside labour unless that's their desire, too. A lot can fulfill a wife's ambitions besides employment. Church work, art work, taking an elective course at a college, etc. can bring both applause and sometimes extra money.

HOW TO KEEP YOUR WIFE FROM EXHAUSTION

  1. Do the dishes for your wife or share with her in doing them, especially when she's tired. It is "scriptural" for a man to do dishes!:

    2 Kings 21:13 (KJV)
    "And I will stretch over Jerusalem the line of Samaria, and the plummet of the house of Ahab: and I will wipe Jerusalem as a man wipeth a dish, wiping it, and turning it upside down."

    THERE IS NO RECORD OF A HUSBAND BEING SHOT BY HIS WIFE WHILE HE WAS WASHING THE DISHES!!!

    (Or buy your wife fine china so that she won't trust you to do the dishes!!!)

  2. If needed bring in hired help one day a week. They can do whatever your wife doesn't like to do -- ironing, washing floors and windows, etc. If you don't feel you can afford such help right now, then be her he-man and bless her by doing some of these things yourself. Ask the United States Marines if such work is "unmanly!!!" Don't approach these tasks as a martyr or with a hangdog expression. Don't complain to anyone about doing such things or make jokes about it to company. It is true that some wives especially those not working away from home, may resent too much intrusion by you into what she feels is her contribution of work for you and the family. (NOTICE: Wives, it is also true that your husband may be working a strenuous or time-consuming job that leaves him with little energy or time for such work in the home. Be understanding if this is the case.)

  3. One day a week, let your wife sleep in. Choose a weekday, not a Saturday or Sunday. Don't let the kids or any noise disturb her. Take the phone off the hook. Have breakfast with the kids, but again, keep things quiet. This should be quiet fun. Make sure every dish is washed and put away in the right place, along with all the food, before you leave for work. Nothing will exhaust a wife faster than walking into a room full of dirty dishes or finding things have been put away in the wrong places. Few things pay greater dividends than a rested wife.

  4. Never let your wife feel afraid without protection. If she is afraid at night and you have to be away -- buy a big dog or move! Make sure she always feels safe and never laugh at her insecurities.

  5. Never let her feel afraid of you verbally. Don't make her nervous about what you'll say to her or about her to others. Some husbands make the sad mistake of thinking they are "funny" by saying up some thing they think was "dumb" that their wife did and then telling their friends. Such husbands destroy the emotions of their wives and their marriage. Matthew 1:19 shows that one of the marks of a "righteous" husband is that he never wants to disgrace his wife. Other husbands (and sometimes the same ones) roar like a lion whenever their wives come to them with a problem. Re-read the material written earlier in this chapter on communication. Love your wife verbally, too.

  6. Never let her feel afraid of you physically. Never hit your wife. 1 Peter 3:7 is very clear that your wife is the "weaker vessel". (Patience will have to be exhibited in your sex-life together. She should never feel she has been "raped.")

  7. Never let her be attacked verbally or physically by the children or anyone else. When the children sass Mum, they should receive your immediate spanking or punishment. Of course, it goes without saying that the same would be true if they hit her. Never let bill collectors bother her. If you should be in the unfortunate situation of being sought after by a bill collector, make it clear to your wife where you will be or what time you will be home. Deal with the collector or any such person yourself and protect your wife from such involvement. (I never let my wife set my meetings or take information for me regarding them over the phone. She might receive incorrect information and make a mistake herself. I protect her from my anger that would undoubtedly rise over such a predicament by not having her take the information in the first place.)

  8. Avoid negative nicknames or phrases used to describe her. Never refer to your wife as "the old lady", "the jailer", "the warden", "the ball and chain", etc. Such titles hurt. You begin to see her in the light you use to describe her. As with anyone else, avoid negative name calling.

  9. Never leave your wife stranded. When you're at a social gathering or church, never leave her alone while you're off being charming with someone else. This can set up terrible insecurities in her (or cause her to find someone else who will be charming!).

  10. Never let your wife come under attacks from satan. Pray for her healing. Don't allow sin in her life (study God's Word with her and it will iron out the wrinkles - Ephesians 5:25-27).

LEARN TO MOVE IN SPIRITUAL WARFARE.

2 Corinthians 10:3-4
"For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh, for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses."

THE WEAPONS OF OUR WARFARE:

HIS NAMEHIS BLOODTHE HOLY SPIRITHIS WORD
Rom. 10:8-13Ex. 12:7&13Jn. 8:30-32 Jn. 20:19-22
Phil. 2:9-11Is. 53:4-5Jn. 15:7Acts 1:4-5,8
Acts 3:16Matt. 8:16-17Matt. 24:35Acts 2:38-39
Acts 4:10-121 Pet. 2:24Luke 7:7-9 Acts 8:14-17
Jn. 14:12-14Heb. 10:8-14Eph. 6:17Acts 19:1-6
1 Jn. 1:5-7 Luke 5:17
Rom. 15:17-19
Mark 16:17-18

"FINANCE IN THE HOME"

Psalm 1:1-3
"How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, nor stand in the path of sinners, nor sit in the seat of the scoffers! But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in his law he meditates day and night. He will be like a tree planted by streams of water which yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither, and in whatever he does he prospers."

Proverbs 15:6
"Much wealth is in the righteous, but trouble is in the income of the wicked."

Luke 6:38
"Give and it will be given to you; good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, they will pour into your lap. For whatever measure you deal out to others it will be dealt to you in return."

Romans 10:12
"For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek; for the same Lord is Lord of all abounding in riches for all who call upon Him."

The area of finances seems like such a "carnal" area and yet it certainly is one of the major problems that can come between a man and a woman who are seeking to serve God together. Jesus placed a high priority on the right use of money in His teaching, considering the fact that two-thirds of all His parables deal with the subject of the right use of money.

FINANCIAL PROBLEMS THAT CAN DESTROY.

When we make the accumulation of wealth our ambition in life (Luke 12:16-21). eg. "I will pull down my barns and build bigger." with our family.

1. Fathers try to hold two jobs, "moonlight" in the evenings, or work extensive overtime depriving their families of any quality time.

2. Mothers are under pressure to go out of the home to get a job to supply additional income to fulfill desires.

1 Timothy 6:6, "godliness with contentment is great gain". God does want us to accumulate riches, but not material riches. ask yourself - am I accumulating things because:


God wants us to place our confidence in Him and learn to be content with what we have. Hebrews 13:5, "Let your conversation be without covetousness and be content with such things as ye have."

WHAT YOU DON'T OWE WON'T HURT YOU!!!

Proverbs 24:27
"(Put first things first) Prepare your work outside, and get it ready for yourself in the field, and afterward build your house and establish a home."

The above verse is telling you to be certain you have enough money to pay your bills BEFORE you start making your purchases. Rob Chase is his excellent 'Marriage and Family Manual' writes regarding short-term purchases: "Short term debt is not to exceed 10% of your monthly take-home pay times 18. With a monthly net income of $750.00 the debt limit would be $75.00 X 18 = $1,350.00. This figure would not include a mortgage on your home. The experts all say that you are headed for trouble if your short-term monthly debt payments exceed 20% of your take-home pay. Thus, with a take-home pay of $750.00, you are in real financial trouble if your monthly payments or debts exceed $150.00, excluding home mortgage."

PLAN AHEAD.

Proverbs 21:20 (LB)
"The wise man saves for the future, but the foolish man spends whatever he gets."

You and your mate need to talk over your real goals. Five years from now:
... Where do you want to be?
... What do your want to have?
... What do your want to have accomplished (or be in the midst of accomplishing) with your money?
... With yourself? With the Lord?
... How badly do you really want these individual goals fulfilled?
TIPS ON STAYING OUT OF DEBT
  1. Realize God is the Lord your finance and possessions.
    1. He owns them Deut.10:14, "Behold heaven and earth are the Lord's the earth and all that is there in."
    2. He holds you accountable for them 1 Cor.4:12, "We are ministers of Christ and Stewards of the mysteries of God. It is required of a steward that He be found faithful." Rom.14:12, "Everyone should give account of Himself to God."
    3. He is your provider Deut.8:17,18 - Eccl.5:19, "The Lord gives the power to get wealth."

  2. Adopt God's value system in your finances.
    1. Be sure you are putting God first through tithes and offering. Mal.3:10; Prov.3:9-10.
    2. Be sure your priority is on spiritual, permanent and eternal things 2 Cor.4:18, "Don't look on things which are seen", temporal, look on spiritual, eternal.

  3. Believe God to supply what you need.
    1. Through diligent labour. Prov.10:4-6; 13:11; 12:14. "The hand of the diligent maketh rich."
    2. Through answered prayer. Phil.4:6; Heb.11:6; James 4:2.
      1. Careful for nothing.
      2. Prayerful for everything.
      3. Thankful for anything.

  4. Develop sales resistance.
    1. Professional sales people are competing for your money. They will use every emotional and flesh-appealing technique possible.

    2. To avoid impulsive spending, ask these questions:
      1. Do we really need it? (Be honest now!)
      2. Is some other item more pressing than this one?
      3. Is the price reasonable?
      4. Is this the best time to buy?
      5. Have I checked and researched the item?
      6. Do I know the retailers reputation?
      7. Are you sure no other item can be substituted?
      8. Does the retailer offer any "after the sale" services?

    3. To avoid impulsive grocery shopping (for wives):
      1. Use an itemized list from home;
      2. Use coupons;
      3. Shop alone (leave dad and kids at home);
      4. Last week of the month are the best buys;
      5. Don't shop when tired or hungry;
      6. Don't touch unless you want to buy;
      7. Don't wait to run out before you buy - use sale prices.

  5. Carefully discern between needs and non-essentials 1 Tim.6:6-11, "Flee these things, follow after righteousness, Godliness, Faith, Love, Patience."
    1. In the world today this is becoming harder to define all the time. If you are in a financial pinch, be hard on yourself.
    2. The wants should be prayed about, maybe God wants someone to give you the desires of your heart.
    3. Impulsive buying is the giant killer of the budget. Stay away from places that will tempt you. Know what you can afford and what you need. Everything else is out of bounds.

  6. Make sure you discover your failures in the past.
    1. Have I followed the Scriptural patterns?
    2. Do I have a way to control impulse buying?
    3. Is God trying to speak to me?
    4. Is God testing my faith?
    5. Am I setting my affection on the wrong things?

FURTHER HELPFUL TIPS.
  1. Limit credit payments to 20% of your take-home pay.
  2. When buying a car, consider the monthly payments plus insurance, maintenance, and operating expenses.
  3. Decide what your spending limits are and stick to them.
  4. Beware of overdraft accounts where the bank automatically deposits $100.00 to your account (extends credit) when you write a cheque with insufficient funds. It takes an iron of will to resist spending that extra money.
  5. Don't buy everyday items - groceries, petrol, etc. on credit.
  6. Avoid borrowing money for vacations. The same is true for Christmas buying.
  7. Start a savings account. Some experts feel the minimum savings account should be equal to 90 days take home pay.
  8. Set up a simple budget and stick to it.
SOME RULES FOR SPENDING
  1. Buy "quality" rather than "quantity". Be sure that what you buy is not going to quickly wear out and will please you for a long, long time.
  2. As often as possible, buy items that will appreciate in value, not depreciate.
  3. Take the kinds of vacations that will create wonderful memories you and your family will treasure forever.
  4. Make the determination for the use of excess funds a family project.
  5. Establish family goals for purchases over the year
  6. Openly evaluate purchases with other members of the family on the basis of needs, wants and desires. (1 Tim.6:8; Luke 3:11; 1 John 2:15-16).
  7. Pray together about every major purchase, submitting to the will of God.

THE RULE FOR BUYING LARGE ITEMS.

The economic rule for buying a home or a car (or any really expensive item) is: always make a big enough downpayment so that you could always sell it for at least the amount you have left to pay. That way, all the you could ever lose is the item itself. Never owe more on any large investment than you can sell it for right now.

NEVER BORROW FROM ANYONE (AND ESPECIALLY NOT FROM YOUR PARENTS)

Ephesians 5:31
"For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother and shall cleave to his wife: and the two shall become one flesh."

"Maturity" means "standing on your own two feet following Jesus". So, never borrow money from your parents. Remember, "the borrower becomes the lender's slave." Don't fall in debt to your parents as a married person. You will find that if you do, the debt will obligate you to "slaveship", as well as financially. Parents often feel that they can dictate their will to their married children if the children owe them money. A married couple who has borrowed money from either set of parents may feel they can't respond to God's full call on their lives or fully do what they feel they should do because their parents disagree.

LEARN FROM THE MISTAKES OF OTHERS. YOU CAN'T LIVE LONG ENOUGH TO MAKE THEM ALL YOURSELF!!!

A PRACTICAL BUDGET.

Someone has said, "Keeping a budget is usually an orderly way of discovering that you can live on what you're making!"

The following budget is a flexible one that can be adjusted for your personal needs;
  1. In dealing with the original 100% of the gross income, first take off 10% for the tithe to God.

    Proverbs 3:9-10
    "Honour the Lord from your wealth, and from the first of all your produce so your barns will be filled with plenty, and your vats will overflow with new wine." (King James version calls this kind of giving the "first fruits")

  2. Next, out of the full 90% left, lay aside what you'll be paying for all taxes (federal, state, social security, etc.), and all insurance policies, pension payments, etc.

  3. With the remaining amount (giving us a new 100%)
    • 40% is for everything related to your home (from house payments to fertilizer)
    • 18% is for transportation (including car, gasoline, oil, tires etc.)
    • 12% is for food.
    • 10% is for clothing.
    • 5% is for medical (doctor, dentist, vitamins etc.)
    • 5% is for entertainment (including recreation, vacation etc.)
    • 10% is left for savings and/or personal use in giving to the Lord (to increase your finances!), or for adding to any of the already mentioned categories or making a new one as needed.

A budget is really important not only to answer the big question,"Where does all our money go?" But to also make sure it goes to the right places. But, you don't have an answer without God; no one does!

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