GEOFF d' REOFF

First Season- Part One

by Trevor Bailey

Meet local hero GdR as he starts his reffing career. Remind you of any one? Please credit westlondonreferees.co.uk if you use any or part of the series.

HERE we go, then.

"Evening lads, this is Frank and Steve……."

That was that. We got the toss over with, everybody got ready, Steve and Frank wished me luck and off they went.. I blew my whistle and the kick was taken, now we're playing football. After four minutes I saw a nudge as two of them went up for a header. Wow! My first foul. As I blew, I saw Steve put his flag across his chest. What is that for? Then the fun started.

"No way ref, he was backing in"

"You *@?^ *@~*~%£!!?>, you pushed me."

I got between the two of them and blew as hard as I could (a Ref did that to me once in a tear-up, deafened me for a bit, but it stopped the grief). Then and only then, did I realise where we were standing. Just inside The Box. Ah! That's why his flag was across his chest. We both saw the foul, but he knew that it was a penalty before I did. So now that order was restored. I told them it was a pen, and went to my position. Nobody argued, I mean NOBODY. Not like when I was playing. 1-0 to reds.

No real problems to half-time, so in we went.

"Why the flag, Steve?" I asked

"I flagged on the foul, and as you blew you were looking at me, so I gave you the signal to indicate that it was a penalty"

"Sorry, Steve, I didn't realise I was looking to you". Steve and Frank smiled at each other. That's when I realised there was more to refereeing than blowing your whistle.

The second half went quite well, we had three goals in the first fifteen minutes, score now 2-2. Out came the accelerator pills, for all of us. They played a furious game for twenty minutes, and then the red full-back mis-timed a tackle and the ball hit his shin and went into the path of the blue skipper, who hammered the ball into the goalies face, and the ball deflected into the goal. Next thing I knew the trainer came flying onto the pitch and rushed over to the goalie.

"You're supposed to wait for a signal" I said.

"The games dead Geoff, and just look at 'is beak, its bust!"

Fair do, I thought.. And that, ten minutes later, was that.

I learned a lot from the game, and a lot more from Steve and Frank afterwards. I think I'm going to enjoy reffing, but not at that level again for a bit: that's up to me to earn it. Catch you all next month.

GEOFF d' REOFF

First Season- Part Two

by Trevor Bailey

I went to a Referee meeting for the first time last night. Frank picked me up and took me. I didn't really know what to expect, but before the start I met a couple of faces from my past. One man in particular had me wondering where we had met before, but then the Chairman banged hishammer and got us seated.

Blow me if the first thing he does is asks if there are any new members. Up goes my hand, and he tells me to stand up and introduce myself. Embarrassed? Not at first, but when he tells me that my mentor for the evening is Irv Woodbine, matey from the previous paragraph slipped into place, and I didn't know what to do. Apparently, the mentors job is to make you feel at home for the evening, plus it's a nice way for people to get to meet, HA HA!

There was then a couple of minutes Branch Business, which was a bit above me, but there was some good-natured banter between the various committee members who were passing on the info. After this the chairman introduces our Guest speaker, the County league Referees Secretary, who starts by asking me if I would like to register with him for next season, and do a few games. I said yes, as I knew a few lads in that league. He then went on to talk about himself and his rise to Football league and FIFA, and what he was now doing. It was interesting, I must admit. Then came the Break.

"Hallo Geoff"

"Hallo Irv. So you're on this side of football too?"

We went off for a beer and chat. Four years ago we were both playing in the Kent County Senior Cup Final, on opposing teams. Irv tackled me on the edge of the box, I fell on top of him and cracked one of his ribs. Irv got taken off to hospital, I scored from the free-kick, we lost 2-1, and Irv missed the presentation and the after-match knees-up. We met a couple of times after, on the pitch, and it was no holds barred, I can tell you. He NEVER spoke to me during or after the games.

"Yes, and its good fun. I hope you enjoy it too. Geoff, it weren't your fault, and those days are gone"

We had another beer together, and the meeting re-started. This was a question session, about on-pitch situations. I've never been to a meeting like this. Everybody was joining in, giving advice, or asking what they should do next time, and so on. I never realised just how fired up referees were over football. They really were keen.

Eventually the meeting finished, and I won one of the raffle prizes; those chocolates kept her happy when I got home. For a while, until I told her that I had signed up to referee on the County League and the Local Area Sunday League. Then she moaned, but not for long. None of your business, that.. See you next month.

GEOFF d' REOFF

First Season- Part Three

by Trevor Bailey

I don't know if I'm alone in this, but there really is more to this refereeing business than you realise. I mean, I'm fit, I was playing at a good standard, but that counts for nothing with the lads on a Sunday morning. What I would be given following a foul was usually "play on" and we did. Not these guys.

" Did you see that, Ref?" and they all stop. They see a free kick as advantage, and I suppose I've to get used to this. Last Sunday I called play on after a foul, the ball went to one side and the skipper hit the ball nearly 40 yards straight into goal. Good advantage? The bloke that was fouled was on my case all the way back to the middle, whinging on about not being given a free-kick and telling me that I shouldn't be on the park if I couldn't see the fouls. I thought 'dissent' and made myself even more unpopular with him when I stuck him in the book, sorry, cautioned him. His side won 1-0 and he still wanted to know why I called play on. According to the other referees in the changing room afterwards, Sunday football is full of these sort of people. Some of them felt that I could have ignored him, or offered to disallow the goal and give him the free kick. The interesting thing was that each of them had their own solution that worked for them, and I thought yes, it's what works for you,

but I've just qualified, and don't yet have that experience, and I said so. A couple of them remembered me as a player, and said that I'd get there if I listened to the advice and picked out the bits that I felt would work for me. Well, I don't know about getting there, but I do want to enjoy it.

I am finding the Saturday football a bit more disciplined than the Sundays, though. Only a little, as I've had four in and one off in five games. None yet for dissent, all for tackles, and the off was a deliberate handball right under the crossbar.

Anyway, that's enough from me about my season, it hasn't been a long one, but I have enjoyed it. I'm looking forward to next season, I hope you are. Speak to you in August. Oh, by the way, don't forget to pay your subs, otherwise you are not insured, and you wont be a member if a good bunch of people.

Geoff

GEOFF d' REOFF

Second Season- Part One

by Trevor Bailey

Hello there. Hope you had a good break, as it looks like it all begins again soon, if it ever stopped. Euro 2000, summer 5-a-side, summer leagues et al. (I saw that phrase in a copy of the Times I found on a train!).

I got involved in some 5-a-side and a few summer league games. The 5-a-side was great, 15 minutes of non-stop mayhem followed by a 5 minute break. It was really tough for me, what with it being an indoor pitch, and apart from the goalie having the ball, no let up in the pace. Then when I blow for time, they all get a beer together. Me, I get a glass of water and off we go again. It was very interesting, though, as I learned very quickly that you cannot stop thinking for a second. Very good training. Eight games per evening, and twice it was me on my own.

The summer league was a bit more gentle, but it was very hot in the first game, so at 22 minutes and the next stoppage, I called out "drinks" and was met with a rake of moans, as the offended team wanted a quick free kick. What good it would have done them from their own penalty area I don't know, but there you are. The organisers had agreed to allow sin-bins, no offsides, and that new 10-yard rule (sorry, but have you EVER shouted out " nine point one five metres, please, lads" and survived the looks?) where you can move the free kick if they give you verbals. So, guess what happened? Yep.

"Offside Referee" "Play on, no offsides". So he tripped the player. I blew for the free kick. "no way, I got the ball, you plank!" "Ten yards lads - dissent". This took us into the penalty area by 3 yards. Same player, "what now ref, a f~*#ing penalty?" OK, I thought, and sin-binned him. Course, it wasn't a penalty, but when the free kick sailed direct into the net, the keeper lost it a bit when I gave the goal.

"Ref, if it weren't a pen it had to be indirect, eh?" I explained that it was the 10 yard rule: if it goes into the box it stays as it was, but it would stay direct from where the 10 yards took it, and wouldn't become a penalty. "Any way, my arm wasn't up, was it". His reply warranted sin bin, red card and a firing squad! After the game I was advised by a senior colleague, who happened to be watching, that the "10 yard rule" was not valid at junior level. Whoops!

I was in Germany the night we played them in Euro 2000, on a little holiday with some workmates who are German. We watched it in a bar. Very civilised, and very beery. "You won't win the next game, playing like this" they said, and the rest is history. There was no trouble, the Germans seemed to accept that their turn had come, and would rebuild for the World Cup, so look out England, they said.

Now, I'm getting ready for the new season, a bit of jogging, down the new Holmes Gym where the lido used to be, twice a week, and I've got some friendlies to look forward to. I hope to see as many of you as possible at the meetings. Get fit now

Geoff

GEOFF d' REOFF

Second Season- Part Two

by Trevor Bailey

Last Sunday, I was sent to Parkfields, a local rec in Bromley, to referee a second division match. When I got there, I found the referees changing room, left my bag, and went to inspect my pitch. I paced out the pitch, and was surprised at how big it was; 115 x 80, I estimated, which made it international size. That's yards, not metres, by the way (have you noticed that even youth players call out "Ten yards, ref", but they're only taught metric measurements. Some things don't change).

Everything looked fine pitchwise, so I made my way back to the dressing room, which now had a few bodies in. I recognised a few faces, but not the enormous hat being worn by someone. The hat turned round, and I recognised Barry Gadget, a fellow branch member, and maitre d'Parkfields. We had a chat, and I told him all was fine outside. He laughed and said that it always was at Parkfields.

The usual pre-math banter was in full swing in our dressing-room when in walked a man carrying a football, asking for me. It was the home-team secretary, so I gave him the usual chat to take back to his players.

"Shouldn't do that, Geoff, you're better off going into the dressing room yourself. That way, you know they've got the message, if that lot can remember it by the time they kick off, that is."

This comment sparked off a mini-discussion for a couple of minutes, and it made me think. Quite a lot.

Anyway, I got out, had a word with my two club linesmen, and got the game under way. After fifteen minutes I blew for a foul on the half-way line, and within seconds the fouled player got up and slapped the fouler. Literally.

"Watch it, boy, or you'll be walking home", he said. I pulled the two players over to one side. I asked what was going on, and slapper said that the fouler was his son, so he couldn't very well hit him, could he. I pointed out that his action was possibly violent conduct, but felt that a caution was sufficient, as they were related.

"Sorry ref" he said, and I had no more trouble from him.

Twenty minutes from the end, though, all hell broke loose following the first goal. The entire scoring team lined up and did a conga! The other team stood watching for a while, and then en mass ran into the conga and started mixing it, as they say. So, I've now got twenty two players rolling about, swapping fists. I decided that I could do no more than abandon the game, so I picked up the ball and walked to the touch-line, where the two managers were.

"Sorry gents, but this one's over. You sort them out, I'm going home", and kept on walking, stunned and, if the truth be told, scared.

Barry was waiting by the changing rooms, and said he had seen what had happened, and would send a report to the league himself, and felt that I had done the right thing.

I got changed, went home and then had a shower. I had a serious bit of thinking to do, and I started by making a cup of tea; I picked up the phone and dialled the Leagues Referees secretary………………

GEOFF d' REOFF

Second Season- Part Three

by Trevor Bailey

Hi. A couple of things have happened since we last spoke. Firstly, we had our branch meeting last week, and we had the privelege of listening to Mr TV himself. Ex-international, ex-club manager, ex England manager, and 27 people turned up to meet him. It was the most AMAZING meeting, as we saw a side to the man that his appearances on the telly can only hint at. His football knowledge is incredible, and he is so upbeat, and he fielded all questions superbly, and expanded at length even on the well known controversies that have surrounded his career. Absolutely riveting, and his opinions on refs and refereeing were a real eye-opener, and there was much food for thought. But, only 27 people turned up, out of a membership of over 100. Boy, did they miss a treat, and I got my photo taken with the man, as he gladly did for anyone who wanted one. We left the club at about 11:45, and the barman was a bit put out, but he got his picture taken, so he was a happier man for that. Maybe it's a sociey thing, everybody stays at home and switches on the playstation or whatever, cos it's easier than communicating. Well they were the losers last week, eh?

The other thing happened on Saturday. I had a division 3 game on the county league, and all was going well until two players got upset over a bit of ankle tapping. Victim turned round and verballed the tapper, and before I knew it they were rolling about swatting each others teeth. I told the rest to grab their own player, which eventually they did. I took their names and red-carded them both and off we went playing football again. This was in the first 20 minutes. The rest of the game went well, until the 80th minute when two players fell to the ground after a tackle and I called "play on". Well, eighteen people actually did, but all of a sudden I heard commotion behind me and turned round, and saw white shirt sitting on top of blue shirt, giving him serious gbh. As I blew my whistle I moved in to pull white shirt away, and as I did so his left elbow came back and nearly removed my jaw. With that he turned and looked round. When he saw me he turned almost white, which for a west-indian is quite something, and said, "ooh Sh*t. Sorry ref, I didn't mean it. I was going to hit him again!" I knew he was telling the truth, but it still hurt, and told him so. Another two off, and they walked off saying sorry to each other. At the final whistle the home team manager tells me that the away team goalie went off during the fight and put the knives from the orange-bag into his tracksuit bottoms, and he'd called the police, and made me stay in their dressing room until the police arrived. They arrested the goalie, and eventually, I got to go home, but not before a mass appeal from the away team to let the league know that the rest of them were appalled by everything. To be fair, it was actually a very good, sporting game, apart from the two incidents, and the goalie, who, it turned out, was well known to the boys in blue, but had never even been booked before! Funny old game, eh. See you next month.

Geoff

GEOFF d' REOFF

Second Season- Part Four

by Trevor Bailey

Hi. I got a surprise the other day. I received a letter from the County, and when I opened it, I had been invited to attend a disciplinary hearing; someone had appealed against being sent off, and I had to be there to give my side of things. I dug out my copy of the report 9i always keep a copy, just in case, don't you?), and read it. "Mr Teachers (Bromley Squash F.C.) punched his own goalkeeper and rendered him unconscious, immediately after he had let in a goal". Well, what else was I supposed to do? I wondered what the "defence" would be, and went off to work.

I drove to the local sports complex where the hearing was to be, straight from work. I decided to grab a bite to eat, so I went into the bar. There were a few people I recognised, including the Bromley Squash secretary, who came over to me.

"Sorry about this, Geoff, but he has the right of appeal. Dunno on what grounds, though. You had no choice, mate"

I made the right noises in return, and got him a drink. John Hartley, County Officer then approached me, and took me to a waiting room and explained in detail what was to happen. Basically, I would be asked questions about the incident, paid my expenses for the evening, and after the verdict, invited back for a debriefing. I was then invited in.

I then found out the basis of the appeal: I HAD SENT OFF THE WRONG PLAYER!!!! I could not believe it. There were two players involved, I saw the assailant from behind and logged his shirt number. This was unnecessary as he was immediately grabbed by his skipper, and he held onto him while I did the necessary. The hearing then began. The player was asked the basis of his appeal, and he said that it was his twin brother who was guilty, and not him! He then brought his brother in, and you almost could not tell them apart. I said almost, as it was then that I remembered that Mr naughtyboy had a few tattoos on his arms. I told the commission this, and as the man who had just come into the room had tattoos, and the other did not, it was "case dismissed" on the first brother. It turned out that the bad lad had given me his brothers name, so as well as the 35 days for the assault, he got an extra 28 for giving a false name. The thing was that the innocent brother did not play that day as he was injured.

Afterwards in the debriefing the County men advised me of the sentence, and thanked me for my time. They also advised me to confirm, with a club official, the name given to me, In future instances. I added that to my list of things to remember.

The Squash club threw both players out the next day. Apparently, their fight in the bar broke three tables, two chairs, a window and several suits went to the cleaners! Who'd be a referee? Next month, then.

Geoff

GEOFF d' REOFF

Second Season- Part Five

by Trevor Bailey

Hello. Had my first assessment the other week. Wednesday night the phone rang. It was George Smiley, as we call him (the Branch "spy"), letting me know that he was coming to watch me on Saturday, and if the game was off, could I give him a call?

Saturday came, and 15 minutes before kick-off George comes into the changing room and wishes me luck. Luck! If anything could go wrong, today it did. The away team were late and kicked off with 9 men. After 10 minutes I realised that they had 11 on the pitch. Next stoppage I spoke to their skipper, and he told me they came on at the stoppage for the injury, when I beckoned the trainer on. The two players thought I also meant for them to come on, so they did! Whoops!

Jut before half-time an attacker slipped in the penalty area just as a defender went to clear the ball, and the defender took the ball and the attackers nose. I had a good view and immediately blew and called on the trainer. Drop ball, I decided, and most of the attackers team in the vicinity agreed: not their goalkeeper. All of a sudden he's come rushing into the penalty area, grabbed the defender, thrown him to the ground, sat on him, said "that's my brother" and punched him on the nose. I don't know why, but the defence didn't move. His team-mates dragged him off and explained the situation. I told their skipper to sort out a new goalie, and dismissed him. At the drop ball the attacking player said he would kick it out for a goal kick. Guess what? He hit it straight into goal. How did I restart? Tell you what, you discuss this at your next branch meeting and let me know the result, and I'll print both results next month!

At half-time George came over and asked me why there were no cautions for the two players who came on late. I explained. "Fair enough" said George, and told me to keep going and we could chat at the end of the game.

The second half carried no major incidents, just a penalty which the kicker missed, which resulted in a team-mate head-butting him. The game finished 10 per side, with a 2-2 scoreline. George came into the dressing-room and had a nice chat with me. He told me a few things that I needed to work on, and praised me on a few things, too. When I got his report, it carried no surprises. Basically I had a reasonable performance, but there are areas that need working on. Maybe I'll show you the report at some time. See you all next month.

Geoff

GEOFF d' REOFF

Second Season- Part Six

by Trevor Bailey

Hello. Do you remember when we last had the amount of rain we've had lately? Football? What football? Still, I got a lot of jobs done around the house. Roll on next season, if we don't sail off to who knows where, that is.

Last month I left you with a bit of a puzzle Had my first assessment the other week. Wednesday night the phone rang. It was George Smiley, as we call him (the Branch "spy"), letting me know that he was coming to watch me on Saturday, and if the game was off, could I give him a call?

Geoff