Skoda Jokes
If you know any Skoda jokes please E-mail them to me so I can add them here ! I will include an Email and Home Page link to your site if you wish (please ask). If you are offended by Skoda jokes (yes some people are !) then please have the good sense not to read them ! If you ignore this and send me stupid Emails that waste my time they will be posted here.
Contributed by Ales Tmej :
Volkswagen wants to improve the quality of Skoda cars, so they take
the Skoda workers to the Volkswagen plant. The Skoda workers notice that there a big cage with
cats inside it. "What's that for?", they ask. "It's for testing the door seals of new cars. In
the evening we put a cat into a car, and when the cat is dead in the
morning, we know, that the seal is good."
One month later, Volkswagen's boss goes to the Skoda plant to see if the
quality has improved. Everything seems to be the same as before, but
there is a big cage with cat inside it. "What is that?", they ask. "It's for
testing new cars. In the evening we put a cat into a car, and when the
cat is inside in the morning, we know, that the car is good."
Contributed by James Humpherson :
What do you call a Skoda full of food?
A Lada!
What's the difference between a Skoda and tickets for an Oasis concert?
Oasis tickets go fast!
What do you call a Skoda with a long radio aerial?
A dodgem!
Contributed by Daniel Bennett (modified to be Skoda specific) :
I was stopped for speeding in a Skoda,
but I was let off due to the Copper(police officer) laughing too much.
Contributed by Philip Avery :
A lady went to a Skoda dealership to buy a car, only to be told that, due to new EEC regulations, she had to provide an account of her medical history before she could purchase the car.
Slightly annoyed she complied, and returned the following day with the required information.
The salesman read the documents & said "Sorry ma'am, but you can't buy a Skoda"
"Why on earth not?" asked the perplexed woman.
"Well," said the salesman, "It says here that you've had a hysterectomy, and you have to be a complete c**t to buy a Skoda!"
Contributed by Iain Mortimer :
Why do skodas have a rear wash wipe ?
........To remove the flies that crash into them.
Contributed by S Smus :
How do you double the value of a skoda?
Chuck a penny into it.
Contributed by Stev :
There is a big competition at my local pub the first prize is a scoda,
........the second prize is two skodas !
Contributed by Jim McIntyre :
How do you double the value of a Skoda ?
Fill the tank !
What do you call a Skoda with a sun roof ?
A skip!
Why does a Skoda have a double rear window heater ?
To keep everyones hands warm when they are pushing it !
Contributed by Taimur Shoaib :
What do you call a skoda with a ladder on the roof ?
A wheelbarrow !
Contributed by George Hodkin :
What's the difference between getting out of a Skoda and getting out of a sheep?
You don't get so embarrassed if someone sees you getting out of a sheep.
Contributed by Graham Dyson :
What do you call a skoda with twin exhausts ????
A wheelbarrow.
What do yuo call a classic skoda ????
A Lada.
What do you call a skoda driver who say's he has a speeding ticket ????
A Dreamer.
I had to part with my skoda as it was costing to much,
I was only doing 10 miles to every pair of trainers!!
Contributed by Jonathan Lowe :
You don't have to think up any Skoda Jokes,
.........the Skoda is a Joke !
Contributed by Pete Stubbs :
Ive just bought the new 16 valve Skoda
.......4 in the engine, 12 in the radio!
Whats the difference between a Jehova Witness and a Skoda?
You can shut the door on a Jehova Witness!
A Rolls Royce pulls up next to a Skoda in a Motorway Service Area.
As the drivers get out the Roller driver brags, "I have a Rolls, the best car in the world, and you have just a Skoda". "Ah, but", replies the Skoda owner, "my car has a few optional extras - I have had the seats converted so that they fold into a double bed at the flick of a switch, I have a Colour TV and Video, I have Sky TV and a telephone, and finally a fully functional cocktail cabinet built into the glove compartment".
The Roller driver storms off, he cannot cope with being beaten by a SKODA!
He goes straight to the Rolls Royce garage and orders all the above to be fitted immediately.
2 weeks later he is driving along and sees the same Skoda parked on the motorway hard shoulder and notices all the windows steamed up. He immediately dials up the Skoda on his in car phone.
On answering he says "Hi, remember me? I've had all the extras fitted to my car, I now have a Rolls Royce with Colour TV, Satellite, Phone, Double bed, and of course the cocktail cabinet".
"YOU GOT ME OUT OF THE BATH JUST TO TELL ME THIS!!!!!!!" replies the Skoda driver !
Contributed by Mark Every :
How do you double the value of a skoda ?
But a gallon of petrol in it.
Contributed by Andy Harrington :
What do you call a convertible skoda ?
A skip
What's the difference between being caught inside Kylie Minogue's Bra and being caught inside a Skoda ?
You feel a bigger tit in a Skoda !
Contributed by Matt :
Why do Skoda's have a heated rear window?
To keep your hands warm, while you push it.
Whats the difference between a Skoda and a sheep?
It's less embarassing being caught getting out the back of a sheep.
Contributed by Murray Brandon :
Whats the difference between a Skoda and a tampon?
The Tampon comes with its own tow rope!
Contributed by Michael White :
You see the ads that say 'What's behind the new skoda?'
It's not really Volkswagen, it's 'People pushing it'!
Why do skoda's have heated rear winscreens?
To keep your hands warm when you push it
What do you call a skoda with automatic windows?
A toll booth.
What do you call a skoda in the winter?
A freezer.
Contributed by Stephen Lowe :
Wanna new petol cap for a skoda?
No thought not, not a good swop.
What dp you call a Skoda Cabriolet ?
A Skip.
What do you call a brand new skip?
A Skoda !
Contributed by Steven Hardaker :
What do you call a skoda with twin exhust pipes?
A wheelbarrow.
Contributed by David Unwin - Brussels, Belgium :
What do you call a West Indian in a Skoda ?
A Bucket and Spade !
What do you call a Skoda at the the top of a hill ?
A miracle.
Contributors name withheld :
Why do Skodas have heated rear windows?
To keep your hands warm whilst pushing it
A guy goes into his local garage and asks "Do you have a windscreen wiper for my Skoda???"
"Sounds like a fair swap" replied the man in the garage.
Contributed by Colin Baines (UK) :
What do you call a convertible Skoda?
A Skip! (Large metal refuse container used on building sites, For the benefit of our American readers!)
Contributed by John Luxton :
The world's most amusing car, now has some more jokes to accompany the
old favourites ! (Or should that be Favorit?) Especially since the reforms
in Czechoslovakia have relased the convict work-force who used to build them!
How do you tell if your Skoda is made by convicts or ordinary workers ?
The car assembled by convicts has nothing missing !
How do you reduce the wait for delivery of your new Skoda ?
Bring back political crime in Czechoslovakia !
How can you tell if your Skoda was built by convicts ?
Once it leaves the factory it runs and runs and runs .... !
How do you double the value of a Skoda ?
Fill it wil petrol !
What is the difference between a Skoda and the flu ?
You can get rid of the flu !
What happens if you apply rust remover to a Skoda ?
It dissappears!
How do you overtake a Skoda ?
Run !
Why do Skodas need two spare wheels ?
So you can cycle home !
What happened after the Skoda hit a cat ?
The cats doing fine - the Skoda died !
What do you get if you fit a turbo charger to a Skoda ?
An FSO !
Why are Skoda drivers like corned beef ?
They both come in tin cans !
What do you call a car that always wins the Lombard Rally but never appears in the Leader Board ?
A Skoda !
