Five things pop stars should think about doing before thinking about acting:
- Write music for films
If you're that desperate to make your mark in movies, then bring what you do best to the party... - Go into politics
Do a Billy Bragg. Besides, there's at least as much acting involved in politics as there is in movies. - Get religion
See above. - Become eco-aware
It didn't do Peter Gabriel any harm, and failed thesp Sting had the grace to admit defeat and take up the cause of the rainforests. - Take loads of drugs and go back to making music for God's sake
You're a pop star. Isn't that enough??
The trend for music stars in films undoubtedly started in the 50s with the likes of
Elvis Presley and Cliff Richard. In the absence of today's hi-tech music videos, these stars instead featured in full-length
movies - often with cringe-inducing results. Bastard offspring of musicals such as The
Sound Of Music ("Wooden Heart" is "Lonely Goatherd" with a swagger), these movies were
star vehicles, pure and simple. Although some were better than others - and some have
entered into camp cult classic status - the majority were witless, plotless debacles which
merely showed off their star and allowed them to sing their latest tunes in the most
contrived situations possible. Anyone looking back on these movies with any degree
of misplaced tenderness should be forced to watch "Summer Holiday" repeatedly until
their ears bleed. And don't get us started on Tommy Steele.
Following on from these foolhardy forays into filmdom, the next contenders for Hollywood immortalisation were The Beatles. Films such as "Help!" and "Yellow Submarine" were the result here, results that had varying degrees of success. Best viewed through a similar druggy haze to that in which they were made, these films - and The Monkees bizarre "Head" - are as much definitions of an era as popstar films. Not much more than elongated videos, these films involve next to no acting talent, but at least those involved didn't take it or themselves very seriously.