SPICEWORLD
by SPICE GIRLS
Now that you are not allowed to like the Spice Girls any more, reviewing their new LP seems pointless. Now that it is official
that they have "spread themselves too thin" and have become cynical pawns of the Man, we should all wash our hands of them,
pretend we never liked them and go back to our Ocean Colour Scene records, stroking our chins as we thank all those critics that
saved us from a dreadful fate.
Well, I'll admit I'm a contrary old bastard who when someone tells him to do something will immediately creep off and do the opposite, but I think the Spice Girls are now more vital, more now - more Pop - than ever. What other band could flirt with both Mandela and Prince Charles; who else is in so much demand that companies, causes and charities are falling over themselves to get the Spice Seal of Approval stamped upon them? What we are witnessing with the Spice Girls is nothing short of a phenomena, the like of which we have never seen before. Products of a capitalist society, yet exploiting that society's weaknesses like Machievelli in lycra and platforms, the band are mistresses of their craft: attempting - successfully - to become the world's most famous pop group. And the fact that most critics, journalists and other meeja types are so gut-sickeningly jealous that the only way they can react is by rubbishing the band indicates their unassailable power (as does the magnitude of their record sales). Even if they split up tomorrow, they have achieved their aims - and no-one can take that away from them.
But enough of my yakking - let's boogie.
Opening with the Latino-funk madness of single "Spice Up Your Life", the LP shoves its agenda in your face and demands you listen. This is the record as Product. "People of the world, Spice up your life", they yell and people of the world obey, munching on their crisps and hoping that their Impulse stops their sweat stains from showing (we are real people - we sweat. They are the Spice Girls - they glitter). The production of "Spice Up Your Life" - like the rest of the LP is warm and lush, though perhaps a little bit too overpolished. But hey, this is POP. It's meant to shine.
"Stop" is next, and sees the girls travel the (Spice)world to the US, there to infiltrate Motown with a sugar-coated stromper that carries the torch in style. "Too Much" is the first slowie, a Girl Power lighters-aloft anthem about taking control (something the girls know more than a little about). And it has a trumpet in, and we like trumpets around these parts.
What is apparent by now is that this is a smooth and shiny thing we are dealing with here - no rough edges or blackspots in Spiceworld. All well and good, but perhaps a little too cloying and smothering in one go. "Saturday Night Divas" and "Never Give Up On The Good Times" say to hell with that and head off down the disco, doing what they do best when they get there. "Saturday Night Divas", the slower of the two appears to be a little autobiographical with its "you're a twisted lover, kissing and telling on a superstar" line and is bubblegum with a slightly bittersweet taste. "Never Give Up..." by contrast runs around the room snogging everyone in sight.
I'm afraid not even I can defend the inclusion of "Move Over" however. The song from the Pepsi commercial - complete with its
"Next generation" refrain - may be a damn good track, and typical Spice Girls with its big chorus, rapped bit and attitood, but
this is a bleeding advert...and I prefer Coke. Moving swiftly on then, we get "Do It", in which Sporty flexes her vocal chords on a feelgood
number. Sadly, it is a little forgettable and marks a bit of a downward patch on the LP, a patch lengthened by the generic and faceless
funk of "Denying". Nice bassline though.
Fortunately we get a nice big Spice classic to the rescue in the shape of "Viva Forever", this LP's "2 Become 1". I presume this will be the girls' assault on the Christmas charts, with its Spanish guitars, Abba-esque melody and gorge production. This - together with the fast-pace-and-in-yer-face numbers - is what the Spice Girls do best. Music that a million kids up and down the land will snog to at school discos. Perfect pant-dampening pop, in other words.
The frankly bizarre "The Lady Is A Vamp" closes the LP, being a 40s big band roll call of Girl Power icons ("Charlies Angels, girls on top, Handbags, heels, their pistols rock") that sounds as though it will be the theme tune to the movie. As such, it closes a mixed bag of an LP, containing some delicious soft centres ("Viva Forever", "Stop", "Saturday Night Divas"), some nice n chewy caramels ("Never Give Up...", "Spice Up Your Life") and some ones at the bottom that no-one wants ("Do It" and "Denying"). Like the first LP, it is far from perfect but it is undeniably a grandoise and infectious pop record, and far from the disposable write-off it has been painted as in some quarters.
And ANY record that contains the line "chicas to the front" has to be doing something right.
