Kenneth has spotted that someone is outside in his garden and has come down to take the camera. Jeff grabs the camera and does a runner back to a waiting Jeannie in the car. Marty gets caught round a swimming pool with nowhere to go without being beaten up by Kenneth. He eventually gets free, and, as Jeff shouts at Jeannie to get in the driving seat and start the car, he appears behind the car running for his life. Kenneth catches up with him and proceeds to back his head against the boot of the car. Jeannie gets out of the car and asks him (all polite like) to stop beating up her fiancee. Kenneth refuses, so she proceeds to karate kick him in the head. She then tells Marty this is the last time he works on a date!

The following day, Jeff is explaining the plan for Marty & Jeannie's wedding. He's got a projector with a map of the area, and is explaining how they will get from their houses to the church in "bank robbing" style terms. Jeannie and Marty are not taking it as seriously as Jeff (who is Marty's best man), but they are grateful that he's got everything planned for them. They ask if Jeff has got any diagrams of what they should do once they reach the hotel on their wedding night?

A man is painting the door to their office with "Randall & Hopkirk Security Services" when a man walks through it. Jeff & Marty's secretary, Felia (who is heavily pregnant), tells them their client is here, so Jeff stops the presentation, taking down the sheet blacking out the window. Jeannie says Marty really does appreciate all the work he's doing. Jeff replies he isn't doing it for him, he's doing it for her. She smiles and kisses his cheek before leaving the office. Marty meanwhile is sitting in front of a small TV playing on a playstation.

Felia introduces Gordon Stylus to Jeff and Marty (who doesn't even move from his computer game!). Jeff introduces himself, and then Marty realises who he is. Gordon Stylus is a famous artist and Marty smells money and excitement, he leaves his game and becomes interested. He starts theorising out loud about what the case might involve... forgeries, international art theft.... "I want you to follow my wife," Gordon says. Marty immediately looses interest and tells Jeff to take over, as his speciality is divorce cases. But this isn't a divorce case, Gordon says. It's much worse. He then starts ranting that his wife, Annette, is his inspiration, his muse, he can't live without her. He then notices the window and asks if it's a painting. The window looks out directly onto a wall only a few feat away, so Jeff and Marty got the wall painted with a cityscape scene to brighten it up a bit!

Gordon continue that his wife has changed lately, she's become cold and angry. She's been taking it out on other people, but now he's worried she might turn that anger inwards and do something stupid. Jeff asks what caused the change, but Gordon doesn't know. He wants them to follow her and find out. Stop her doing something stupid. Marty then asks if he's got this straight, "are we talking about suicide?" he says. Jeff despairs at the tactlessness of the question...

Later that night, Marty is talking with Jeannie about going to a party Gordon is throwing for his wife. He wants to go so they can keep an eye on his wife as requested. Jeannie is listening, but then twigs. When is this party? This weekend. But the wedding is this weekend she points out. Marty knows this, but says the wedding isn't until Sunday afternoon, and it's been planned down to the tinniest detail. Before she can respond the head waiter comes to the table and asks her what she's doing. Jeannie is a waitress at the restaurant, and the head waiter isn't too chuffed with her sitting down with the customers. She explains that Jeff is her fiancee, but he doesn't care.

Saturday arrives, and the three of them are driving down to the country mansion of Gordon Stylus for the party. Marty is driving and singing with Jeannie, "My body may die, but my heart will keep loving you baby..OOhhh Oohh..." Jeff sits in the back seat looking thoroughly fed up. He can't stand it, not only are they singing - badly - but Marty is driving so slow. Any slower and they would be parking, he says. Marty and Jeannie ignore him, and continue singing.

They arrive at the mansion, and Marty walks towards the front door when a car comes speeding up the drive. It stops before it can knock him down, and a woman gets out of the car, she doesn't look happy. Her name is Annette Stylus. Inside the party has started, and Gordon asks her where she's been. She went for a drive, she needed some fresh air. Gordon introduces her to Jeff, Marty and Jeannie. Annette doesn't even say hello, "You know, for some stupid reason I thought this was my party, but you only seem to have invited your friends," she says. Gordon's reply? "You don't have any friends."

Jeannie and Jeff move away quickly with Marty following on behind. Jeannie comments that she always gets a tainted view of marriage hanging around Jeff and Marty and jokingly asks if they are doing the right thing by getting married themselves. Jeff reckons they are and begins to spout out some foreign phrases (all of which means he loves her). He moves away with a flourish, as Jeff comes along with some drinks, "how do you like that?" she says, "never even said he loved me."

Marty goes off to find Gordon. Gordon has a bottle of champagne in his hand and takes a swig every now and again. Gordon tells him painting is dead, and that the stuff he's working on now, will blow the art world away. He takes Marty off to a room to show him his new stuff. Marty spots a golden head in a glass case and says under stated it is...and it's made of gold... nope...it's made of Gordon's frozen urine! There are lots of masks around the workshop, Gordon loves making masks of his own face. There's one on a dress makers dummy and he stars to French kiss it...

Meanwhile Jeannie is upstairs looking around for someone to talk to. She spots Jeff sitting alone on a couch drinking a beer from the bottle. His face lights up when he sees her. She tells him she's going home, and that she could strangle Marty sometimes. She asks him to make sure Marty gets to the church tomorrow on time!

Marty meanwhile is playing with a robotic arm, one of Gordon's new pieces - but is it art? he asks. Gordon then suddenly rambles on about how he is nothing without his wife. She went off for a drive the other day and stopped by a cliff. Gordon is convinced that she would have jumped if he hadn't have been there. Then he hits upon a great idea, he'll paint her something for her birthday.

Upstairs in their bedroom, Annette is on the phone. She says it's over between her and Gordon, and has been for over a year. She can't breathe anymore. She believes the person she's talking to is her only way out of her current situation.

Downstairs, Gordon is getting ready to create a new masterpiece. He's securing a huge canvas to a frame which has an image of his wife on her wedding day projected on it. It's not the most flattering of pictures as it has her screaming into the camera. He goes to turn some music on and goes to get his spray can of paint. He tells Marty to go keep an eye on his wife - discreetly. Marty spots Jeannie who tells him she's leaving. She walks out to the car, but Marty refuses to go with her, he promised Gordon he'd stay, at least until the painting's finished...

Jeff goes over to sit with some of the other guests. One of them asks if Jeff has heard the rumours. The ones that say Annette is the big artist genius not her husband. While he's away with his media chums, she stuck at home creating the masterpieces...

Jeannie says Marty can do what he likes, she's going home. She walks off towards the car, then turns back. She forgot to ask for the keys to the car. Marty gives them to her and as she walks back some dust falls on him from above. Looking up he spots Annette on a stone balcony. She has a bottle in her hand and is leaning over the edge. Her phone call didn't go well. Whoever she was talking to has refused to help her leave, so she kicked the ageing balcony (hence the dust). Marty thinks she's going to jump, so he runs back in the house leaving Jeannie to fume and drive away.

Marty runs into the bedroom towards the balcony to stop Annette jumping, only to find her sitting on the bed drinking. He tells her he promised Gordon he'd look after her. He tells her he's a private detective (so much for discretion!). So, he's taken to spying on her has he? She puts a cigar in Marty's mouth and then produces a gun. Marty is forced out onto the balcony. Annette pulls the trigger and.....lights the cigar. She tells a relieved Marty, that she isn't the mad one - Gordon is.

Downstairs, Gordon is really getting into his painting - literally - with the help of a chain saw. He's spray painted the entire canvas red, and is now hacking it to pieces.

Up on the balcony Marty and Annette are chatting, while sharing the bottle she has. Gordon wasn't always like this she says, he used to be so passionate. He was crazy about her, but now he's just crazy. She tells him to be careful around him. Marty says not to worry, he can take care of himself. He leans on the balcony, which then give way and he falls....onto a lorry. The lorry proceeds to drive off. Annette runs to the door, but is stopped by someone.

Jeff walks out of the house and finds the car gone. He can't find Marty either, so assumes he went home with Jeannie. He spots Annette getting into her car and driving off.

The van finally stops briefly to open a gate and Marty wakes up and gets down. The van drives off, and then Marty spots Annette's car. He says he's okay, but he's not having a good day is he!? Annette's car continues on, forcing Marty to jump on the front of the car. He can't make out the driver of the car as the sun is behind him and all he ca see is a silhouette. He shouts for Annette to stop the car. The car does eventually stop, with the two front wheels hanging off a cliff. Marty tells her not to get out of the car and the shift in weight would tip the car over the edge. She gets out of the car....or does she? As the car falls down the cliff side we see Annette sit up in the seat and lean against the car horn. Who got out of the car...?

Back at the mansion, Gordon finally finishes his master piece. After the chainsaw came the blow torch. The finished piece is called Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust.

The following day Jeannie is waiting at the church with her father. Jeff drives up in Marty's car saying he can't find Marty - his bed hasn't been slept in. They start to worry, this isn't like Marty to just disappear. A police car turns up and a policeman breaks the bad news.

After the funeral, Jeff starts tidying up Marty's desk. The sign painter is back adding the words "deceased" after Hopkirk, but Felia asks him to stop because of the paint fumes, "I don't want to have a mutant baby," she says. Jeff decides to keep a photo of him and Marty on the desk rather than pack it away. He opens Marty's desk draw and finds a bottle of whisky and pours himself a glass. Inspector large then turns up to let Jeff know that as far as they are concerned the case is closed. They've traced Annette's last phone call. It was to Gordon's art dealer. He said she was ranting again and just assumed she was drunk. Anyway they've taken a full statement from Kenneth Crisby, he's been most helpful. Jeff makes sure he's heard right, Kenneth Crisby? The Inspector confirms it, Crisby is Stylus's agent, and owns the Crisby gallery.

Jeff pays a visit to the Crisby gallery, where Gordon Stylus's new works are being shown. He spots a life size robot in the corner that someone is playing with. Kenneth is talking to the press while Stylus stands around looking vacant. Kenneth tells him to cheer up, the exhibition will go amazingly well. He's already had six figure offers for Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust. Gordon can't believe Annette is gone, whereas as Kenneth doesn't really care. In fact in light of Annette's death he thought it was time for a new contract, split 50-50. Gordon snaps out of it, 50-50!!?? Well, Kenneth's wife is taking 50 percent of what he owns (thanks to Randall & Hopkirk), so he thought he'd take 50 percent of what Gordon makes. Gordon is outraged, but Kenneth is fairly confidant that he'll sign, after all he's only got to phone up the police and tell them what Annette and he talked about...

At this point Jeff walks up to them and asks what they really spoke about on the phone. Kenneth quickly changes the subject. He asks what Jeff wants. Jeff says he did a job for Gordon and he hasn't been paid yet. Kenneth says that's a joke, he was being paid to stop Annette from killing herself, they didn't succeed, ergo they don't get paid!

That evening Jeannie is working at the restaurant. A couple are deciding what they want to eat, but the woman can't make up her mind. The man gets annoyed, "You always have chicken," he says. Jeannie finally answers the man's calls and comes over to take the order. He orders chicken for the woman, but she decides to try the guinea fowl. The man immediately changes her order (he is the most obnoxious man ever!). The woman again starts dithering and asks what Jeannie recommends. "I recommend you leave this arsehole and go out with a human being," is Jeannie's reply. The man turns angry and asks if Jeannie knows who he is. Jeannie responds by asking the entire restaurant if anyone knows who the man is, as he's clearly lost his memory! Understandably the head waiter isn't too chuffed with Jeannie's behaviour (even though the woman is laughing). Jeannie looses her temper and puts a fish dinner down the head waiter's trousers.

Back at Jeff's office, Jeff is playing on the play station. As he kills the monsters, a computer version of Marty appears on the screen. He tells Jeff to meet him at his grave. Jeff thinks he's seeing things. The radio turns on by itself and the words "My body may die, but my heart will keep loving you baby..OOhhh Oohh..." are coming from the speakers. Eventually Jeff unplugs the radio to stop the music. The phone rings, and again Jeff hears Marty's voice telling him to meet him at his grave. The radio starts playing the song again - even though it's unplugged.

Jeff finally goes to Marty's grave, and Marty appears as a ghost in front of his old friend. Jeff has a hard time believing things at first, but he puts his hands through Marty's body and starts to believe. Marty tells him that he was murdered, and that he has one day in order to find his killer. Jeff still has problems talking to a dead man and walks off. He bumps into Jeannie. After she was fired from the restaurant she drove around, not wanting to go home. She comes to Marty's grave now and again to talk to him. Jeff must think her strange - talking to a dead man. Not at all he replies. Jeannie starts to cry and Jeff puts his arm round her to comfort her. Marty appears next to them on a bench saying, "I'm not cold in my grave, and you're making moves on my fiancee." Jeff tells him to go away, but has to quickly cover this up as Jeannie thinks she's talking to him.

Jeff asks Jeannie if she notices anything strange. Other than the fact she's in a grave yard in the middle of the night, no, she replies. Marty tells Jeff he's the only one who can see or hear him, he chose Jeff. Jeff asks Jeannie if Marty could hear her, what would she want to say to him. Just that she misses him and she hasn't laughed since he died she says. Marty looks miserable, and asks Jeff to look after her and then leaves. Jeff tells Jeannie that there are some things about Marty's death that don't make sense, so he's off to ask Stylus some questions. Jeannie says she'll go with him, but he tells her to go home.

Jeff gets in Marty's car, to find Marty already in the passenger seat. He tells Marty that he believes in him. Marty tells Jeff that they have to move quickly, he only has until day break. Why? "Afore the sun shall rise anew, each ghost unto his to his grave must goo" Marty recites the rhyme he was told - he points out he didn't write it! Jeff starts to drive away, but Marty doesn't move and is left floating in mid air as the car drives away. He's still getting used to being a ghost!

At Stylus's mansion Gordon is standing in his wife's wedding dress looking at a huge disdainful picture of his wife saying repeatedly it wasn't his fault...as if he can hear his dead wife talking to him. The room is full of candles, almost like a shrine to her.

Marty fills Jeff in on the fact that Annette did actually do most of Gordon's work. Jeff asks why she phoned Kenneth. Marty explains he was the only other person who knew the truth, and she wanted him to tell the world. Jeff says that both Kenneth and Gordon had reason to want Annette out of the way, but she killed herself didn't she? But what if it wasn't her in the car, what if it was someone dressed like her and she was already dead Marty says? But Crisby didn't have enough time to get there and Stylus was too busy doing that painting thing. But was he? He was wearing a mask and goggles, it could have been anyone - or anything Jeff adds.

There's a knock at Gordon's door. It's Jeff, he asks if Gordon is ready to talk. Why not? He's nothing without Annette. Jeff discovers the controls to a robot and starts playing. (While he talks, Marty discovers he can blow out candles, and proceeds to blow lots of them out). If Gordon loved his wife so much why did he kill her? "I thought it would solve everything, but it didn't solve anything," Gordon replies. Gordon and Kenneth planned it together. Gordon got rid of Annette, and Kenneth got his revenge on Randall & Hopkirk for their part in his marriage break-up. Gordon says it was Kenneth's idea. Gordon admits it wasn't him painting at the party, it was one of his robots, so he was able to slips away unnoticed.

>Before they can talk anymore, Kenneth comes up behind Jeff. Marty tries to warn him but it's too late, Jeff is hit on the head with a hammer, knocking him out cold. He wakes up later strapped to a metal wire mess plate suspended above a resin bath. Kenneth Crisby tells him he's about to become a permanent art exhibit. He and Gordon are on the verge of becoming extremely rich, and they can't afford to let Jeff get in their way. Kenneth leaves to get Gordon, and Marty appears. Jeff's relieved, but sadly Marty can't do anything. No-one else can see him and he can't touch anything (he can blow things but that's about it), besides it's nearly dawn - he must return to his grave. "Cursed be the ghost who dares to stay, and face the awful light of day." Or what? Jeff asks. Marty can't remember the rest of the rhyme, he's sorry, but he has to go.

Gordon and Kenneth return with a pot of resin and pour it into the tank. The bath is now ready to kill Jeff. Kenneth starts to lower Jeff into the bath. It's all very satisfying for him, the only thing that could make this any better would be to lower that woman who kicked him in the head - Jeannie. Jeannie then walks in, she's followed Jeff to the house. Jeff tells Jeannie to run, which she does, but trips and falls. Kenneth is just about to hit her with a crowbar when a huge gust of wind comes through a window and knocks him for six. It's Marty! Jeff says jokingly that Marty took his time. Marty replies he couldn't leave Jeff. Marty then starts to fade out, he has to go. He tells Jeff to look after Jeannie for him.

Jeannie then gets up and starts to help Jeff out. Jeff asks what happened to Gordon. We then see a chainsaw cut through one of his paintings. Gordon has got the remote control for his robot and is making it walk towards Jeannie and Jeff. The robot has the chainsaw in its hands. Jeff tells Jeannie to hurry up. She's trying desperately to untie Jeff from the metal plate he's on.

Marty then appears again and blows the robot towards Gordon...

The following day at Kenneth Crisby's Gallery, Kenneth is talking to a crowd of reporters. He says he's happy to see so many reporters there, and he hope they all choke to death on the champagne! He is then taken away by police.

Jeannie asks if Jeff would like another drink. He says yes, and thanks her again for coming to his rescue. She says it was nothing and kisses his cheek before going to get the drinks. Marty then appears behind Jeff, saying he can't leave Jeannie alone for a second can he!? Jeff's pleased to see him, but surprised. Marty tells him he's remembered the rest of the rhyme, "Cursed be the ghost who dares to stay, and face the awful light of day. Ye shall not to your grave return, until your chosen one be gone." (this last word is pronounce gern so it rhymes with "return" - like he said, Marty didn't write the rhyme!). So, Marty is stuck with Jeff until Jeff dies. Jeff says he's sorry, but if it wasn't for him... Marty says never mind, at least this way he gets to keep an eye on Jeannie...

Jeannie returns with the drinks, and Jeff asks her what she thinks of Gordon Stylus's last piece of work. Jeannie says she doesn't know much about art, but she knows what she likes. Gordon's last piece of work is in fact himself, preserved in resin. He's in two glass cases, having been split down the middle by the chainsaw wielding robot. He's still in the wedding dress...

The End

Guest Stars

Charles Dance as Kenneth Crisby David Tennant as Gordon Stylus Hanna Miles as Annette Stylus Jessica Stevenson as Felia Siderova Melissa Knatchbull as Wendy Gill Steve Pemberton as Sergeant Liddel Mark Gatiss as Inspector Large Paul Shearer as Man in Restaurant Gemma Page as Woman in Restaurant Martin Wimbush as Head Waiter Michael Knighton as Workman Brian Williams as Arty Type at Party Joscelyn Best s Young Artisit