BobMoCo - Staff Assessment Ready-Reckoner

~ BobMoCo Staff Assessment Ready-Reckoner ~

Scientifically-based Management tools for assessing the quality & performance of staff are precise & the methodologies involved well documented. ^a
There is, nevertheless, a need for a concise, comprehensible guide to marks awarded at monthly, quarterly & annual appraisal & review sessions. The table below enables Line Managers to be certain they are neither under-valuing the qualities of staff whose abilities might shortly reverse their roles (other things being equal), nor over-valuing the abilities of those whose contributions can cause latent WETACC. ^b

The intellectually or motivationally challenged will be reassured that they have a place in the broad scheme of things.
Individuals convinced they belong to an inherently superior breed will have their convictions (and likely futures) confirmed.
The remaining 50% of Employees ^c will appreciate more readily the relative values accorded to their efforts.

^a See Notes. ^b Workplace Efficiency/Target-Axis Crossover Criticalisation. ^c Binge-Grummit Pan-National Worker-Mean.

Mark / Performance Level	1 Well above Standard	2 Above Standard	3 Standard	4 Below Standard	5 Below any Standard
Intelligence	Drafts the guidelines on setting objectives, aims, targets & goals	Understands guidelines on setting goals, aims, targets & objectives	Has difficulty differentiating between an aim, an objective, a target & a goal	Has seizures completing returns for aims, objectives, targets & goals	Prefers reading soccer magazines
Productivity	Achieves all personal goals & professional aims before target deadlines	Meets most goals, aims & targets by objective dates	Can achieve some goals if aimed at the right targets	Has to have aims explained after meeting objectives	Captain & striker, company soccer team
Timeliness	Submits reports a month before actually requested	Produces requested reports before deadlines	Punctual at meetings about missed deadlines	Has not yet attended a meeting on time	When the big hand is on 12, & the little hand is on ...
Leadership	Can lead staff to hell & back	Can convince staff hell is not that bad	Cannot convince staff to go to hell	Staff believe they are in hell	Cannot follow staff's map to hell
Foresight	Mentally over the horizon	Visible with binoculars	Always carries a pair of binoculars	Requires help focusing binoculars	Claims binoculars hinder goal-scoring
Adaptability	Never hits wrong keys in bespoke network applications	Can use two bespoke applications	Often confused by the F* keys	Regularly confuses Ctrl, Alt, Del & all the F** keys	Believes double-clicking is cruelty to mice
Loyalty	Buys his boss's wife's birthday presents	Wears the company T-shirt on staff outings	May turn up to staff outings	Has lost three company T-shirts	Cannot remember the boss's name

Notes:
Most workplace basements and out-houses already contain complete sets of key publications and Management Aids on this topic. It is suggested that new organisations obtain - as a minimum initial essential reading list for both Line Managers and Employees - the following titles upon which (inter alia) this Assessment guide is based.

Comprehensive lists of guidance material may be obtained by sending a strong, self-addressed container
(min 15" x 10" x 8") bearing £GB25.00 stamps plus £GB20.00 (US$30)
handling fees to the: