NEWS
Exciting and important news stories you may have missed ..

Professor becomes African Chief

 [little picture of Africa] Professor John Knapton heard about the poverty in a small village, Ekumfi Atakwa, in the African country of Ghana. He raised money to pay for every child to be educated, and organised the building of a village school and library. He also raised enough money to supply each home with clockwork radios.

In recognition of his help, he has been made Chief Nana Odapagyan Ekumfi 1 He was presented with a spear, a stool, and some acres of land.

The 48 year old chief will continue with his other job - working as a professor of structural engineering at the University of Newcastle.

The Oldest Joke in the World

 [egyptian writing]
A 4,500 year old joke has been discovered on a slip of papyrus. Apparently, this joke was related by the magician, Djadjamankh, to his pharaoh, Sneferu.

How do you entertain a bored pharaoh?
You sail a boatload of young women, dressed only in fishing nets, down the Nile, and tell him to go catch a fish.
Carol Andrews, assistant keeper at the British Museum's Egyptology department, believes some of the joke may be lost in the translation.

Bernard Manning was quoted as saying this proved that earthy humour was common to all people.
"There are some," he said, " who won't be surprised - Jimmy Tarbuck for instance. He doesn't tell gags, he just refreshes your memory."

Chocolate shock statistics

 [a bar of choc] Recent figures show that, in Britain
we spend on average £ 60 per person, per year, on chocolates.
That is £ 3,500,000 a year between us.

Apparently we spend even more on sweets.

Can't sell your house ?

According to a recent survey
Here are the 3 things most likely
to put a buyer off -
  1. a brown bathroom suite
  2. a front door chime that plays greensleeves
  3. outside walls painted pink
     

You have been warned !

Prisoners given herbal tea

[tea cup] Prison tests at Leyhill open prison showed that one in five prisoners smoked cannabis. Herbal teas were introduced, to help prisoneres give up the drug.

One prisoner claimed "herbal tea just helps me relax".

Prisoners can choose between camomile, red clover blossom and vervain.
The scheme appears to be working - two prisoners have already claimed they have given up cannabis as a result.

PET HATES

The Sunday Times and National Opinion Poll recently did a survey to discover people's PET HATES
Respondents had to name 3 things, from a list of 12, that irritated them the most.

Here are the results

1. JUNK mail won with 65 % of the vote
2. Middle lane HOGGERS with 34 % of the vote
3. Recorded messages when phoning a company, 33% vote

4. People who use mobile phones in public places - 29%

4. Car and house alarms going off - 29%

6. Too few checkouts in shops and supermarkets - 24%

7. Piped music - 17%

8. Plastic shopping bags that SPLIT - 13%

9. Traffic lights that turn RED when there is nobody waiting - 13%

10. Opening TETRAPAK milk cartons - 11%

If you have any PET HATES not mentioned here , please tell me

Julie hates people who "go around killing poor, innocent, defenseless bunnies and making fur hats out of them"


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These pages are produced by Ruth Livingstone
The materials I use have been gathered from the web or produced by myself.
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