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SUBJECT: SUNSETS...POSTED: 13/03/03 BY: SAM

so today id like to talk about sunsets. or in particular about that special breed of asshole who goes all the way to somewhere like kenya just to look at them.

"oooohh" they go "the view was just breathtaking, i've never seen anything like it"

here's a newsflash buttmunch, try opening your eyes, we have them here as well!

now i've lived in london for the better part of twenty years and i can say we have some of the best sunsets in the world, probably something to do with all the pollution and noxious chemicals we've got in the atmosphere round here. we invented pollution don't ya know, the phrase "pea souper" was coined just for london. and im not talkin los angeles type of pollution here, the kind you cant see thru that just looks like really low lying clouds, i mean the proper, turn the sun funny colours and affect your head worse that a 70's acid trip flash back kinda pollution.

the one good thing thats come out of all this pollution, apart from funny shaped sheep up on the reservoirs, is that we get some of the most astounding sunsets in the world. the colours are just so, so, strange, and wonderful at the same time. the clouds reflect the most vivid and vibrant oranges, red, pinks, purples and sometime if the sewage plants been havin a field day we get the odd shade of green. we tend to stay in doors on those days though, just to be on the safe side.

"but what about your surroundings?" i hear "surely london can't compare to the australian outback, the sahara, the icy tundra or the great barrier reef" well to that i say two things;

one: im not comparing london itself to the amazon rainforest, i'm talkin about the sunsets here, try to keep up.

two: im sure if you brought an aborigine or eskimo (or inuit as im told they like being called these days. im sure they love being told what they themselves like to be called by some pompous social worker whos's probably never seen an eskimo, let alone asked them what they'd like to be called) over to london and showed them the london eye, or canary wharf or even the royal albert hall (although god knows why) they'd be fairly impressed. id even bet that when they went back home their conversation with their friends and familly wouldn't be about the large amounts of snow or dirt they found here but about the fabulous london skyline, well at least for a few days anyway.

what im sayin is that people should open their eyes to whats around them, instead of spending shed loads of money galavanting off to another contry just to go lookin at the movement over the horizon of a far flung ball of burning gasses that we can see from our living room and office windows anyway. appreciate what you have to hand before you start searching high and low for something you probably cant even define, let alone find. at the end of the day you may just find you end up back where you started.


v1.0 14/03/03