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The week starting Monday the 11th June 2000
really sucked big wind! As a result I thought I’d share this and subsequent
bad luck with you lot, if only to give me somewhere to rant and rave...
I’m sorry but I just had to moan to even more people about the bad luck that has plagued me throughout my life. And less entertainingly for you lot; to crow about the good things!
Ahh, a good thing. The 2001 Dive Show at the NEC Birmingham.
Other than spending a fortune on stuff I really shouldn’t, I did get a first class bit of dive luggage and won a SPG in a tombola at Northen Diver’s stand, hence the photo of me with that bloke from TV’s "The Bill".
That said, The blurb on ND’s stand said "Have your photo taken with PC XXXX" and as I have never watched a complete episode of "The Bill" I was under the impression this fella was a real police diver, it was only later when people saw the photo that my error was pointed out to me :-)
Some thieving bastard breaks into my shed and pinched a garden hoover and an
inspection lamp. BASTARD.
Burn them for fuel I say!
Great, get back from holiday in Egypt only to go down with the worst case of explosive diarrhoea in known history. You would think that if you got through two weeks in Egypt without a single stomach upset, that you’d be safe back in the UK wouldn’t you? Ho hum.
Bloody marvelous my nice new shiny BCD self destructs in 10m of water on its second dive. Cost me half a days diving (this was an aborted drift) and rental costs for the rest of the two weeks for a dive centre BCD.
Some bastard tried to break into my car again, shattering the rear quarter light
and damaging the rubber seal and its mounting post. £56.40 to repair, no
change of catching the toe-rag. I’m fuming.
Burn them for fuel I say!
We were roused from bed by the dog barking his head off
at about midnight. Why was he barking? The bloody back fence was alight!
Some fucker had only gone and set fire to my wheely-bin, which had
melted and set the back fence alight.
Thanks are due, by the way, to my
neighbours on both sides who also noticed and helped put the blaze out
before all our houses went up!
Damage? One wheely-bin (the bloody
council want £23 to replace it, even though it was destroyed by a
criminal third party!) £16 for the timber for the fence, £8 for the
melted panes on my greenhouse, and a whole day’s pissing about cleaning
up the mess and fixing the greenhouse and fence.
Not a fortune, but
enough for a good piss-up (Yanks:that’s english for getting very drunk)
not to mention a wasted day. Grrrr.
I am not a happy bunny :-(
At last a good thing, my lovely new diving gear arrived. Hurrah, looked an idiot at work as Graeme brought his tank in so I could give the regs a quick "do they work?" session in the office. Oh the joy of a new toy...
I cycle home from work only to end up in casualty for 2 hours
waiting to be fixed.
Now in this country (England) we drive on the left
side of the road. So when meeting someone coming your way on a narrow bit
of road what do you do? your supposed to slow down a bit and bear left.
What did the idiot I met on cycle path Monday night do? The stupid
bastard went right (he was English BTW) resulting in a literal head on
crash that totalled the front wheel of my bike and resulted in 7 stitches
to my forehead.
OK so it’s a faked photo, I wasn’t feeling very alert, or photogenic at the time. So in time honoured Sunday Sport stylee I have doctored an image to provide you with an artist’s impression...
