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Limericks thought up in the pub. Bad taste, poor English, bad rhymes, profanities a-go-go, suspect syllable counts. Best get drunk before reading them. Think you can do better? Then submit your own here
There once was a fellow called Cheek,
Whose physique was kept at a peak,
but decline due to ale,
late nights without fail,
mean his body is now an antique
Suzanne Nichols
There was a young girl from Neith,
who enjoyed nibbling cock with her teeth,
it wasn’t for fame or love of the game,
but to get to the cheese underneath
Jamie Heath
There was a young man named bill,
who swallowed a dynamite pill,
his heart retired,
his bum backfired,
and his willy shot over the hill
Jamie Heath
There was a young man named Crocket,
who built a 30 foot rocket,
The rocket went bang,
his bollock went twang,
and his prick ended up in his pocket
Jamie Heath
There was a young fellow called Cheek,
Whose bladder was known to be weak,
After too many Stella’s,
He sprayed all us fellas,
And the cheese that he got from the Greek
Steve Taylor
There was a young lad from Westphalia,
Who painted his bum like a dahlia,
Whilst streaking at cricket,
A wasp stung his wicket,
And the whole thing was deemed a great failure.
Chris Wilkinson
There was an old lady from Hubberholme,
Who had oral sex with a rubber gnome,
The silicone dick,
made her feel very sick,
and it squirted all over another gnome
Roy Littlewood & Chris Wilkinson
This was a young fellow named Paul,
Couldn't rely on his ring-piece at all,
When he sat on the loo,
It went slightly askew,
And splattered some poo on the wall.
Nick Cheek
The was an old codger called Rager,
In an accident lost both his nadgers,
But despite the lack,
Of sperm in his sack,
He still enjoyed growling at badgers.
Nick Cheek
An unfortunate fellow called Pippin,
Indulged in too much Guinness sipping,
His stools were so large,
Some big as a barge,
A definite hazard to shipping.
Nick Cheek
Last week when I went to see Granny,
She showed me her musical fanny,
It played me Beethoven,
Amazed me with Chopin,
And Chopsticks upon the piany.
Nick Cheek
Care to add you own? Send me your submission and you might get published. Provide a name or a link to your site or tell me if you want anonymity.
