French knickers and football

SOME EXTRACTS FROM HIS SOCCER COLUMN: -
Deric Longden with the Gladiators: -

Matlock need all the sponsorship they can get at the moment and last night, I woke from a deep sleep - with an inspired idea!
Coventry City have their ket provided by car makers Talbot, and a huge T on their chests. So why not Matlock?
Tarmac would seem an obvious candidate - but then it struck me. Janet Reger! It's a natural! Can't you just see David Barker in goal wearing a fetching pair of pastel pink French knickers in purest silk? I'm sure he'd agree not to get them muddy if we had a word with him.
And up-front. Wayne Biggins in a Camisole Top? His number nine picked-out in ecru lace delicately edged in puce.
Not only would Matlock Town be the talk of the Northern Premier League, just think of the advantages for Janet Reger. Her creations would be seen in such fashion conscious towns as Workington, Goole and other parts the Sunday Times cannot reach. Honestly Ms Reger, I think it's too good to miss!