So you think you are submissive
Or do you just like kinky sex? Because there is more to this lifestyle than the fairy tale fantasy of incredible sex, being spanked, the image of yourself tied and writhing against your bonds, or being brought to new heights both physically or mentally, by your dominant. Not that all those wonderful things can't happen - they quite often do but it goes deeper than what you can see, touch, hear and feel. A good relationship involves that other important element - what you, yourself "sense". It goes beyond this realistic plane, into the depths of your soul. Or so it should. That when you are in that role, you ARE submissive. In every way, shape, and form. No dominant wants a submissive that will only give up part of themselves. You give it all. Even when you don't think you have any left, you find the strength to reach down into the dark recesses of your being and FIND it. There are no half measures
I often laugh when I hear someone comment that "SHE" is NOT submissive or "she's too dominant to be submissive". Well, nowhere in the submissive manual does it say that we are wallflowers. Or that we are docile and pleasing to anyone that happens to come along, most especially to the Internet entities who call themselves "Dom" or "Master" or "Sir" or "Lord" and demand that you call them as such. Titles need to be earned. Both the titles of dominants and submissives or slave ...
In this lifestyle you will find a surprising number of us have those high powered or stress jobs, and that their personal lives are well under control. We hold ourselves in high value, and have great self esteem. This is not a lifestyle for the timid. It's not a game that when your limits are pushed, or when your pain threshold is at it's max, you can say "okay, i've had enough, you can stop now". Yes, a scene can be controlled with safe words, etc, and all limits respected. I'm sure you've read this, and it is true - I'll leave that discussion up to those who have written great articles on the subject and would encourage anyone to read them. That's what it takes to make a decision about going into this. KNOWLEDGE. I'll say it again, because it's important. KNOWLEDGE. You wouldn't make a decision to take a job that you knew nothing about, unless you could make an informed decision. That takes (yes, and I'll say it again) knowledge.
Read everything you can get your hands on. Attend a few munches, meet and talk with other submissives that are willing to help you understand. Go to a public play house. Personally, they are not my taste, but I guarantee you will come away with quite a new perspective. But I will tell you one thing. It's like a drug. Addictive, drawing you into it's grasp, and holding you there. That yearning need which you try to shake off when you've tasted it, and experience a length of time in between being owned. If someone had warned me of it's hold prior to my getting into this, I may have thought twice. But once you've tasted it, usually, there is no turning back. Not even if you wanted to.
On a side note, there are those of us who can play without needing to be owned. Whether it is just to relieve tension and the burn that we feel, to have fun- there are many reasons. It doesn't make them any less or more submissive than those who prefer that close, intimate bond of being owned. An un-owned submissive doesn't have to mean she's lacking. It's all about choices. And what works for YOU may not work for another.
So? You think you are submissive? No matter what your preferences are, are you willing to let (even if just for an agreed upon period of time) someone else totally take charge? Control your mind, your body, your soul? Without thought of objecting or holding anything back? In times when you are uncertain, yet, trust that your partner knows what is best and has the experience to carry it out? At times when you want to run in fear yet have to find the strength and submit to what is being asked of you? Are you willing to remember that its not YOUR wants that matter. Bottom line, the only thing that matters is pleasing the one you serve. NOT because it's expected. But because you WANT to. Need to. Because that's what it's all about. Do your needs and wants matter? Of course they do. We're not in this lifestyle to please another yet get nothing in return. But therein lies the difference. Fulfilling our own needs isn't as meaningful as when someone else does it for us. A good dominant will see that our needs are fulfilled, because in doing so, a submissive will WANT to please them more of their own accord. Choices. It's all about choices. And compatibility. And knowledge.
So? Still think you are submissive?
