So you want to join the This Ghastly Menace ™ franchise holding group, eh? Well, let's face it, it won't be easy. We don't want just any musical riff raff, you know!

Rigorous checks have to be made, including a police TNB survey. You'll be required to prove immaculate health by undergoing trail by Royal Marine assault course at Overbury. Teeth will need to be in perfect condition (signed witness statements from three unconnected referees will do) and, it goes without saying really, but your band must have exceptionally clean bill of sexual health.

What has this got to do with music, you may well ask? Well, nothing, but then we do have very high standards and musicians are known for very low ones. Posture is also important, as we don't want to be represented by slouching boy bands.

If you still think you reach our high grade, then your the band for us. What's in it for you as a band? Please navigate your way to the 'Benefit Package and FAQ' page to find out.