The Brazilian Grand Prix

Yet another surprise has been set.  McLaren are arguing about the disqualification, so what better way then for our own Matthew Wright to start his second regular piece.

Just One Thing

I know what your all thinking.  I also agree.  There is no way Coulthard will be let off the disqualification.  This is for one simple reason, his name isn’t Michael Schumacher.  It should however be noted that the FIA is a fair and equal organisation that isn’t bias in any manner, if you believe that then you’ll believe that Mansell used to be really interesting.  Speaking of which I just want to tell you all that there will soon be a new section to the website.  Here I’ll be running down all of the great British drivers, starting with that great personality Nigel Mansell.  So watch out for that, it’ll be appearing after the British Grand Prix.

The Build Up

Back to the Brazilian Grand Prix.  The track had be resurfaced which gave the drivers an extra 2 seconds a lap of speed.  However I have uncovered an exclusive.  It turns out that the original track resurfacing wasn’t with tar mac.  Instead it was with icing sugar.  The entire track had been completely covered with the white powder.  It gave good grip but too many druggies were coming along and sniffing the stuff up.  It should be noted that the build up within the F1 community was mainly focused on the Hakkinen and Schumacher situation.  It should be noted that in recent test sessions the ‘99 McLaren was being tested by the working based team.  It is highly possible that this car can race this season.  Also in the build-up there was a lot of “Didn’t Jenson do well?”.  Yes he did, but let it rest.  The 20-year-old boy has enough to worry about without the extra pressure of every one else.  With Hill gone, Coulthard doing very little, Irvine being a pratt and Herbert having no luck or television interviews, only Button can be the next British hero, but let that happen in its own time.  Honestly the guys go to much with trying to get to grips with the new world of F1 and collecting all of the pokemon cards!

The Qualifying

The qualifying session was marred by sponsors signs falling onto the track.  I now understand why people want to ban tobacco advertising.  It is ironic that the signs belonged to Marlboro, the Ferrari sponsors, which was the team that suffered the most.  Murray predicted rain during the qualifying session.  Which happened, but only because the session was extended due to the sign situation.  Hakkinen was on pole, as in Oz. 

The Race

The race began after the two Sauber’s had been with drawn.  This was not due to the rear wings falling off but more because the two drivers had been up all night drinking red bull and getting extremely high on the stuff.  The race was mainly uneventful except for the many events which happened.  These included Barrichello’s retirement, which must have been disappointing to the Brazilian, not to mention the many fans that crowded into the circuit to watch him in the red car.

Other events included Hakkinen failing to finish.  This was not due to the engine, or anything else that McLaren would tell you.  But instead it was due to the fact that it was Hakkinen’s first ever race.  I know what your thinking, but for the past few years Hakkinen has been employing a stunt double (notably Stirling Moss) to do all the driving for him.  This race was his first real one.

Coulthard finished second to Schumacher.  May I just say that I thought that he had done brilliantly.  He had lost third gear and below, spent most of the race without radio communication, pushed from beginning to end and I think he really deserved that second place, if not the first.  Who cares about the fact that the car was illegal, Ferrari does that all the time.

The Interview

Here we have another great interview lined up.  This time it’s with none other then Pedro Diniz (I know what your thinking, but I spent the interview budget on cheap larger).

Matt:    Bad luck on the race result Mr. Barrichello.

RB:      Hay you win some, you lose some.

Matt:    That would be true, except for one point, you haven’t won anything.

RB:      Well who wants to win infront of their home crowd.  I mean even if thousands of people have come out to see you hay.

Matt:    Stop crying.  I’m trying to conduct an interview.  Now what every one wants to know is why did you go to Ferrari?

RB:      Who?

Matt:    Ferrari, you know who you drive for now.

RB:      I thought I still drove for Stewart.

Matt:    What about the red car?

RB:      Jackie told me it was the new Jaguar livery.

Matt:    What?

RB:      The Jackie is a great man.  You know he came and wished me luck before the race.  You could just imagine Jon Todd doing that for Irvine couldn’t you?

Matt:    Jon Todd didn’t do that when Irvine was driving for Ferrari so why should he now he’s driving for Jag.

RB:            Perhaps he want’s a luxury sports car!

Disclaimer

All interviews and comments attributed to other parties may in fact be complete bollocks.  The writer of this piece would just like to say to all parties who wish to make a comment on this, tuff!