suspect-rosetta

s1 ep 1-5
s1 ep 6-10
s1 ep 11-16
s1 ep 17-21
s2 ep 1-6
s2 ep 7-12
s2 ep13-17
s2 ep18-23
s3 ep 1-6
s3 ep 7-11
s3 ep 12-16
s3 ep 17-22
s4 ep 1-6
s4 ep 7-11
s4 ep 12-16
s4 ep 17-22
s5 ep 1-6
s5- ep 7-11
s5 ep 12-16
s5 ep 17-22
car guide s1
car guide s2
car guide s3
car guide s4
car guide s5

season two

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suspect

Suspect Another dark and stormy night, there can be no good here.
How does Lionel know who was on the phone? It could have been a telemarketer.
Oh well done that lone gunman.
I revise my last statement. There can be a very good thing here.
Did he just get wounded twice from one shot?
Will people never learn, never put glass tables next to the mezzanine. I liked that glass table.
Do people who've been shot really flip over waist-high railings like that? I've always wanted to know
Jonathan hasn't shaved again. Someone needs to have a word with him about this
What did he do that made Martha make him sleep in the truck?
"I'm sure that wasn't there when I fell asleep."
I’m surprised Smallville police know how to use a megaphone.
That's some incredibly fake-looking rain
Another stupid comment by the Smallville police department.
"I'm sure you remember all this from the last time you were falsely accused of murder..."
Oh god, it's the orange jumpsuit again. And to top it all they've made him wear orange again. As if his day wasn't bad enough already
Really shouldn't drink and drive
Half a beer? That's truly pathetic
You'd be amazed at the things that bring families together
Jonathan, now is not the time to be you.
I do adore the cheery blue colour scheme of the Smallville jail
It’s time for you to go, now you’ve had unsupervised access to the suspected murderer.
If I'd been the downstairs maid, I'd have assumed someone was poaching outside and gone back to sleep
Oooh! Action!Lex, although I've seen then both fight and JC could kick his ass
Dominic's quite neatly groomed already
That is a truly horrific image.
The list of names would be pretty helpful though
What do you think Jonathan is going to be doing with Lionel, tapdancing?
There's a joke about Jonathan not being big enough there that I'm just not going to get, and believe me I'm trying
Clark's moment of doubt, "He could never kill anybody. Right?"
Considering the number of LL initials in Smallville, it wouldn't be too hard to lie about where the watch came from
Shouldn’t the police have searched the house straight away rather than giving Martha and Clark time to hide anything incriminating? Although, I do note Martha hasn’t hidden the one piece of incriminating evidence in the house, despite the opportunity.
She hid the octagon Jonathan knew about at the bottom of a flour barrel, but the watch that he absolutely mustn't find, she just put in her dresser drawer?
Jesus, can no one in this town lie to the police? Apart from Clark
There is no way Jonathan would drink Tequila. I’m surprised anyone in Smallville has heard of Tequila.
Why wasn't Jonathan wet when they found him then? Ooh, good point
How do they think Jonathan got into the house? I know the mansion security has failed against phase-shifting mutants and Clark, but it should have been able to keep a drunken farmer out
Shame he didn't break his neck in the fall really
I like the way we repeatedly get to see Lionel nearly die.
Pete gets some pretty sweet cars for a sixteen year-old, although what happened to the blue and white Ford?
Everyone has advantages the Smallville police don’t have.
I wonder if he could check our garage for my riding hat?
There should be a CSI parade. I can just see the Warrick Brown float now...
You'd think they'd point the gun down when they were doing that
If it was Lana in that hospital bed there'd be a higher brain functions joke there.
Isn’t that phrase ‘we’ve been over it with a magnifying glass’? Microscopes are really hard to use out in the field.
Crikey Jason Connery's tall. I always thought he was a small man
Obviously not approaching quietly enough
You have to appreciate the overly dramatic music.
"Just a smokescreen." Lex expected anything else?
Is it just me, or is everybody but the sheriff doing the investigating here?
Although, that wouldn’t be an alibi, it would be what he was doing afterwards.
Not too sure about the pink streak in Chloe's hair
Yeah, writing that article must have been a barrel of laughs
Chloe is learning, anyway.
Chloe's hair must be some sort of desperate cry for help and attention.
"Because they'd accuse me of murder Clark, even I'm not that dumb"
You bastard Clark! That was incredibly low, Clark deserves a slap for that.
I'm getting a serious urge to punch Clark every time he goes on about someone else telling the truth. Sadly, I don't think it'd do much good
Martha seems a lot more sure about the not shooting thing than Jonathan does
Anyone with a Davy Lamp has to drink elsewhere
Truck! Truck!
If Jonathan had been driving Pete's car it would have kept going, gone round the field at high speed and done the jump again
Ahh, so now I see why they didn't use the classic car...
Damn it! Yet again not even a scrap of clothing burnt off. I know denim can be hard-wearing but this is ridiculous. Where's the gratuitous nudity in this show?
Oh, there it is... Yay!
Lionel really knows how to hit Lex where it hurts: “Just another employee”.
Dominic gets petulant
Lex doing some very subtle hiding behind the doorframe there. Handy listening corner in the Luthor mansion. Stealthy Lex, really stealthy.
A lesser man than Lex would be doing his nah-nah-nah-nah-nah dance right about now.
Clark revises his "Lawyers aren't going to help" theory
Well, yes. It was locked and you need to get inside.
Clark finally acknowledges how crap the Smallville police force is.
God those are hideous curtains
That's a suspicious green glow from the freezer
More like sleeping with the frozen veg. Sleeping with the fishfingers...
I like the way he is cunningly hidden under one layer of frozen food.
God, the man committed the crime himself and he still couldn't solve it
Clark does his Jessica Fletcher impersonation. Wesley's Miss Marple impression was much more entertaining
Who did Lionel think he was talking to?
What a stupid place to put a commercial break
That's in good condition for a book that's twenty five years old
LeXcorp going under is a pretty important event. It gets a little lost in this episode
Only four?
So that's a yes then?
Yeah, let's bring Ethan up on charges of making Jonathan wear orange. That's got to be a misdemeanor at least
Not that sad a day for Smallville law enforcement. With Ethan gone, maybe they can find someone competent
How did being shot in the kidney give Lionel a sore throat?
Lionel can't be very worried about keeping this secret deal with the sheriff secret if he's turning up in a limo.
See, I would have shot the attorney
That wasn't a threat, that was an idle query with menaces
Eh? How exactly is this Lex's fault?
Lex takes a quick look to see if he can unplug any life-sustaining machinery.
Presumably Lex is going to be doing the majority of the looking in that relationship

rush

Plus it rhymes, which is cool. A rave at the cave? Horrendous rhyming aside, is that safe?
“Where is it?” Erm, in the cave, Pete. Hence the name.
Chloe couldn't work out where the rave was from the directions?
Where is the electricity coming from?
Moby might not hurt the cave but vandalism and graffiti might.
Ah, the lesser-seen Archaeological conservator!Pete.
She's right, clay never comes out
Chloe hitting the ravers in the wardrobe
Good call Chloe, on the don't smudge the cave idea, not the hairstyle
A sneek geek attack left Chloe surprised there.
What's the geeky guy doing at the rave in the first place?
They've got a Goa'uld on the wall, that or an ancient representation of Cecil the Hungry Caterpillar
Why are the cave paintings fluorescing? You wouldn't have thought all that burst sienna would reflect black light
“I’m invincible!”, Um, I have so many reactions to this it just hurts, but that really was just the most incredibly wrong thing to say. Oh, now that’s just asking for trouble.
What went into Pete?
Clark has cute hair this week
Now that’s an entrance.
I'm impressed by the shop sign that didn't collapse when Pete rode over it with the scrambler
"Driving like a wild man, " on the pavement which, as a pedestrian, is the part that worries me
And Clark is only concerned about the lack of a helmet?
Yeah, but it's the moment after that's the problem
Ah, sensitive!Pete, besides Whitney was less toast and more McNuggets. Hey! Less of the tasteless Whitney jokes please, besides it was too wet in that rice paddy for Whitney to end up as anything crispy
That was a pleasant but unnecessary flash of stomach from Clark
No one's going to be allowed down in the caves again are they? Especially with all the anthropologists etc complaining about the blood that Travis left on the walls
Well, he was on some scaffolding, and if he'd stayed on it, he would have been fine
“...carpe diem... stop obsessing about your dead parents!”
School guidance counselors, honestly, what's the point? You'd get better and more relevant advice from a gibbon.
Lana is the only person in the world who would need someone else to tell her that.
Love the way Clark feels the need to specify that Lana should go with him
Lana’s goldfish-like memory has apparently blocked out the disastrous date where he left her at the bar and went home with somebody else.
God, it's the war of the big shiny front teeth again. Do none of these people have cavities?
Clark wisely not using the super speed to clear up since he got so totally busted the last time he tried
More of a splat than a bash. Lex sounds sorry he missed it. Poor Lex, the only party ever held in Smallville, and he missed it.
I would have been interested in cave paintings as a teenager.
You just can't get the staff these days, "When I fired the security guard this morning..."
Lex looks particularly sexy this week.
Secrets? Me? Never...
Two very different but equally valid excuses from Clark
"Real page turner", Clark will be fine, it's mostly pictures after all
I don’t know, you could get a gift shop in that cave.
Mr. Sullivan sounds really great.
Of course she said yes Chloe, she's not... Okay she is that stupid, but still, not that stupid
Chloe just a tad too intense to be entirely believable on the 'I don't fancy Clark' front
Chloe just wants to claw Lana’s face off here.
How can Clark ever be late, he has super speed!
Yes Jonathan, a totally celibate, innocent, not at all sexual study date with the girl he's been drooling over for the past year
Martha quickly reminds Jonathan they should be encouraging Clark’s interest in girls.
Why "Thanks Mom?" She never said anything
Doughnuts? Oh on, the bike... I was seriously confused for a moment there. Why would cattle be scared of doughnuts?
Lex is looking pretty sexy this week too. Maybe I'm just hormonal and everyone seems attractive
It’s his geeky enthusiasm for the caves.
Why did I expect that envelope to contain pictures of the linguist and naked women?
“Quite unique”? Gagh!
Surely every issue is a memorial issue?
Dead in a Toyota Corolla. What a depressing way to go
Love Pete's enthusiasm. "Let's do it again!"
Clark can't just knock Pete out and haul him off to hospital?
Eww, gloop. Well Chloe, sticking your hand there wasn’t the smartest thing you ever did.
Clark and Kyla made out down there didn't they? She certainly ripped his shirt off, which is a damn good start
Flying out to Chile, so rarely used as a threat
Separate Chloe from her camera? Are you insane?
Rush!Chloe is fun. "Kiss my ass"
Was that cunning linguist remark supposed to be a joke?
Chloe didn’t need to be stuck with something to have that attitude.
Pete has a damn good point about the privacy
See! Baby Goa'uld!
Where do people get all these little lead boxes from?
Not the most obvious tourist attraction, but it could work. They will have to be quite cheap tickets.
Seriously, that's one of the baby Goa'uld larvae from 'Cure'. Maybe 's targate' left it behind when they borrowed the set
Shouldn't they have called in some kind of biohazard team to deal with the nests of poisonous parasites?
It’s amazing Chloe ever gets an edition out at all, given the number of random men she kisses in her office.
The world's most comically suggestive lollipop. Blimey, Chloe really is pulling out all the stops, the paint-on top and the wonderbra designed by NASA are actually subtle compared to the lollipop
Oh bless, he’s trying so hard to concentrate.
"The only thing I can think about is Pete." Yet another reason why Chloe and Clark are never going to get a date
Chloe is really freaking Clark out with that lollipop.
Actually, Clark's grounded from tomorrow, so you might be waiting a bit longer than that
Christ, I thought the pink streaks were bad. Is the bizarre hair and the dark eyeliner a sign of Evil!Chloe?
You mean traffic lights don't work like that? No wonder I've been having trouble at that pedestrian crossing
Oh, oh yeah
Gah, freaky demon eyes on Clark.
"You should see the look on your face." Showing her a mirror might not be a bad idea, the eyeshadow alone should be enough to knock her off that high
God, Red!Clark is attractive.
Ooh, pissy jealous Lex
That’s the third time he’s changed today, and it keeps getting better.
"You'd think he could afford a good toupee." Okay, Rush!Chloe rules. A toupee would just look fake, especially as everyone knows that he's bald. You’d have thought Lex would have a good retort to that by now.
That really is a different car
I'd follow up that "hello" with a really big jug full of ice
Mime is not so bad after all.
Now this is the highlight of my day, and I've had a pretty good day. You can picture the script meeting, "How do we get him away from the rock?" "Well, we could always take his shirt off..." "Yeah, yeah, let's go with that!"
That's so unfair, losing his red rock at the crucial moment
“Chloe, you have a parasite!” Oh, the romance of the moment.
It’s exactly what it looks like.
You could most usefully spend the next ten seconds unzipping that jacket
"I can explain." Actually, I really don't think you can
Convenient that Pete apparently has a fist of lead so Clark didn't feel the meteor rock before
Lana enjoyed dumping that water on Clark.
Naked Clark and now wet Clark, if they could just have put the two together...
There must be a 'Thelma and Louise' joke here somewhere
There's a joke about screwing Clark as well
That was some dodgy CGI on the car shot.
Clark neatly saves Pete another insurance claim
Usually when hospitals extract something they give it back to you to take home afterwards
Oh no, not the whole amnesia thing. Chloe’s going to be so pissed that she can’t remember stripping Clark in the Talon.
"I didn't recognise her." Yeah, very subtle Lana, Chloe's never going to work that out
Neeahh! I wasn't expecting Pete to appear just then
Ah, I was waiting for the obligatory manly patting scene.
“Completely unique” Gagh! Unique doesn’t need a modifier!
Hence the "Unlike anything on this Earth..."
Very pathetic. He could at least have bought chocolate.Where’s pudding?
To be fair, when Lana walked in Clark wasn't kissing Chloe back. His shirt was on the floor though.
Because Clark and Chloe are meant for each other you simpering nitwit!

prodigal

How can anyone see anything in this casino? It’s like being on board Voyager when they go to red alert, all the main lights go off and they put the red bulbs in.
Wouldn’t that hidden camera have to have a very good light source to get a picture like that?
Now, as con set-ups go, this is pretty sweet
Roughly translated as "No, no I'm not using my laptop to spy on your clients and send secret messages to my friend so we can embezzle your customers"
That was an extremely threatening bite of chicken
I bet that waitress doesn't get many people complaining about the service. ‘No really, the chicken’s fine…I like the chicken’
As entertaining as the start of the show is, what relevance does a shoot-out in a Chinese casino have to do with anything?
Was that Lucas' bike? If he hotwired it, he did it very quickly. I would have spent ages looking for my keys.
He's a man with a car who isn't currently shooting at you. That's all the information I'd need
Brother? Huh? I can’t see the likeness...
Couldn't they have had the stunning revelation in the safety of the limo?
Damn, the shot went past too quickly, I couldn’t make a joke about the sign on The Talon.
There is a joke there about Clark shaking his tassels, but I can’t quite get it.
Lana doing her best to sabotage another local business by directing the unreliable staff to them
That rose has lasted a long time. Clark didn't buy her a plastic one did he? Besides, shouldn't someone have emptied the bins by now?
An antique clock fetish? Like Tobin's stationery fetish (it involves Michael Shanks and a pink post-it note...). Well, when you get an urge for an antique clock, even Lionel Luthor can’t stand in your way.
The Luthors are big on alliteration, aren’t they.
Well you bought him in Lex, don't get pissed just 'cause he's getting the attention
Is that one of Mac's katanas?
Why would Lionel have a left-handed blade? Surely that would be more use to Lex
The boy in the picture Lionel keeps, has different colour hair to Lucas.
Those are nice mixer glasses
MR is looking incredibly sexy this week, even more so than in 'Rush'. Either they've got a new make-up lady or he got laid last night and there's still a residual glow. It’s the pink lip gloss. Oh my God, the pink lip gloss is making him more attractive.
"An heir and a spare." Really, we don't quote 'American Gothic' enough
Of course Lex is staging a coup, he’s been practising since he was four.
Love the way Pete takes the revelation in his stride, while Clark desperately tries to avoid his mother's stunned haddock impression
'Hey,' thinks Clark, 'That could have been me!'
You deliberately meant to drop a bombshell on him, don’t lie.
Note the instant male bonding between Lucas and Pete as they realise they are the minor characters in this scene.
God, Lex has an annoying ring tone
How does Lucas know anything about Clark’s family?
Lex in flannel? Although the thought of Clark as a Luthor is kinda sexy
Lucas has the Luthor brains and the arrogance, but he's got a way to go on the charm
Ah, good old alpha male, 'my ability at sport is directly related to my ability to father children' sports pseudo-bonding. Why don't they just see who can pee the furthest and have done with it?
I like Clark's little 'bring it on' expression
The post-lunch caffeine slump, a seriously dangerous time of the day
Lana *almost* doing some work herself then
Presumably the amount of enjoyment Chloe gets depends on what exactly she's ordering Clark to do
Because Clark's never arrived on time for anything in his life, what makes Lana think it'll be any different for his job?
Hmm, I smell a set-up, and somehow I don’t think that Lex is going to be the loser here.
Jonathan's looking very casual slumped in that chair
Did they even make him leave the Porsche? Or his Maserati. Please tell me Lucas didn't get his hands on the Maserati
Lex is really regretting making Jonathan beg for that helicopter to Metropolis now.
How the mighty have fallen, he’s gone from processing manure to shovelling it.
But he's outside that window, you just turned your back on him right then
Jonathan wilfully misunderstanding Martha there
Love the snigger from Jonathan there, he is enjoying this so much.
Jonathan, despite all evidence to the contrary, must be a proper farmer. He knows to give the voluntary workers all the mucky jobs, especially when they're new
Please tell me they've got a lock on the storm cellar. There's a lock on the storm cellar, right?
He's alone on the farm at the moment. For all his talk of vigilance Jonathan really isn't paying much attention is he?
Lex looks less dangerous with that pitchfork than Clark did. He has no idea how to load a barrow though
Is it wrong to find Lex in wellies even more attractive than usual?
Oh yeah, those fabulous people who actually pay for the privilege of looking after the horses while the staff drink tea and make them do all the hard work. I was always very fond of them
It's going to take about three more of those bales before Lex is actually pulling his own weight
Well that should win a prize for the gayest look of the season.
If there's a space for a witness signature, shouldn't someone be there to witness them sign?
Ooh, Lionel just saw that. Hah! Lionel can see! I knew it! Lex is going to be so annoyed he missed that.
Saw that too. Although that was a great comedy moment they missed there, I can just see Lionel getting decked by that pool ball. That probably happened on take two
Also a handy trick if you're getting a glass of water at four in the morning and you don't want to wake anyone up by switching the lights on
Lana should stick to her original assessment, Clark's timekeeping is worse than mine
"Slash Assyrian"? What Assyrian?
Clark's voice got really high then
I did minimum wage for a year as a teenager and for four months before I got my grown-up job and there’s nothing worse than slogging your guts out for very little reward. So I stopped working so hard. Hey, you pay peanuts, you get monkeys.
Or a guest appearance in a Brothers Grimm anthology
Checkers, chess, it’s the same board though. Either that’s astoundingly stupid or very deep, and I can’t decide which.
Half naked Lucas isn’t altogether unpleasant.
Oh, so this Luthor is allowed to be naked.
My god that rug is hideous
Lucas is showing quite a bit more than just his hand
Lex works so much better when his back is against the wall.
I can't figure out if the gene pool/shark tank thing is a mixed metaphor or not
Lateness?
Well, Lex made sure of it after he did it himself once
Clark can’t bear to break with tradition and so has to save the life of this Luthor as well.
Clark's making a bad habit of Luthor saving
Faster than a speeding bullet... Technical question, can you have a bullet that's not speeding? A casually ambling bullet perhaps
Clark does his very best to ignore the fact that his back appears to be on fire
Luthors do have a bad track record with assassins don't they
How did Lucas recognise him? He was wearing a motorbike helmet.
Lex is your son and you chucked him out on the streets without too many regrets
Oh, now the apron's cute...
Those coffee cups are only half full. Although I wouldn’t complain if Clark were my waiter.
Chloe makes an important distinction there. I'm with Chloe. Other people bring coffee to me
He's turned his back again
I like Chloe's mission statement
Oh Lex complained, Jonathan, it’s just that he did it quietly when nobody was around.
Lex isn't quite sure how to react to that comment. Was that supposed to be a compliment?
Lex suppresses the hysterical laughter quite well. ‘Me? Doing manual work?’
Yeah, if Lex was running the place they wouldn't spend all their time putting up fences
Why do people hold their guns sideways like that? I saw a show once where a firearms expert explained how that’s an excellent way to miss your target altogether.
"It happens..." It doesn't happen that often
I like the parental patience in Lionel’s voice; ‘You are not going to shoot your brother.’
Oh dear, Lionel just made a big mistake, and I wonder how long it will take Lex to... oh, about five seconds.
Can Clark tell which Luthor is which with the x-ray vision? It’s a safe bet that the one taped to a chair is Lex.
I'm amazed Clark can fit in an air-conditioning vent
Well not that son. I'm quite happy to take pot shots at the other one though
Oh my God! He shot Lucas... with blanks. Oh, I really thought Lionel had killed him then.
Set up! I knew it!
Lex looking appallingly smug for someone who's still duct taped to a chair
Lucas didn’t untape Lex’s legs, and I really expected him to fall flat on his face when he stood up.
I was about to ask what that drippy stuff was
That’s it Lana, you rip his heart out and stamp on it.
Clark suddenly realises that not changing is actually a bad thing
Keeping the big-screen TV. Wise, wise move
Isn’t that the glass table Lionel smashed into when he was shot?
Lionel has a little Indian story. Helpfully recapping the fable for those of us who don't watch 'Voyager'. Although wasn't it a fox in Chakotay's version?
Most of his home.
Except it will be useless, polluted earth.

fever

Carrying the flour bin to the storm cellar looks a bit suspicious. She should have palmed the octagon.
This only goes to show how little baking is done by Jonathan and Clark.
A normal person would have had to fish in that flour for ten minutes before the octagon came to hand
Damn, thinks Martha, now I have to make something with peaches.
Shouldn't they have safely disposed of that lead paint?
How come there are leaves on the floor of the storm cellar?
Surely those green things would have been disturbed by now, what with a tornado and the ship lifting off down there and everything else?
Not that fast considering they searched for a washer, went out in the truck to buy a washer, and returned realising they already had said washer, and only then actually fixed the pipe.
Eww, yet another anatomical close up. There are only so many parts of a Kent's insides I want to see
Don't let her fall on the glass!
That’s it, she’s not breathing, so instead of starting mouth to mouth or calling 911 yell “Mom!” instead.
Someone's got Martha flowers already? That was fast work
Shouldn't Helen have her hair tied back a bit?
Surely orderlies have better things to do than ferry coffee about
The Kents’ medical insurance must be astronomical.
Ah, the ever reliable emotional blackmail. Nice to see Jonathan sticking to the classics
"Camp out with you." I have the greatest image of them with a tent and a campfire in the middle of the corridor, toasting marshmallows
Clark bearing a computer, that’s a nice image. Mmm, shiny...
“Hospital, it sounds serious.” Oh jeez Lana, ya think?
"What were her symptoms?" If the hospital couldn't diagnose her Chloe, I doubt that you'll be able to help
Why do waiting rooms always have the most uncomfortable chairs known to man? It's especially inconsiderate for a room in which you're expected to sit for a long time
This is a very cheery pastel-coloured hospital
Baby? I mean, I knew it was coming, but that was still a bit of a shock.
Oh, I’d forgotten about that.
Helen gets the sinking feeling of someone who has well and truly put their foot in it
Emotionally conflicted!Jonathan
Lex, annoyed his subtly worded question couldn’t get around the confidentiality rule.
Like Lex wasn’t going to read that letter anyway.
Ah, the death knell for their relationship. I wish, but sadly she's hanging around for a while longer
"Research has always been my first love." So what happened to the wanting to work with real people speech she gave not so long ago?
“A baby?” says Clark. “You mean, you guys still have sex?”
She has a disease Jonathan, hence disease control...
Gah! Farm! Spaceship! Run! Stop looking worried and run to the farm, very, very quickly.
"Indiana Jones couldn't find it in there." But Doctor Hamilton could?
Another one for the car chart
Nice use of the word "we" by Pete there
David Duchovny? Where?
Quick, stand by the truck and look nonchalant.
I thought the medical authority was FEMA or the CDC, not DCA
Those are some very tasteful dark red suits, rather than the hideous vibrant orange ones you usually see. Maybe they thought the orange ones would scare the cows
Shouldn’t those samples be labelled with a bit more detail than ‘Kent Farm’?
Will the ship be safe in the shed with the nice little curtains?
Jonathan makes a quick visual check of the truck before he asks about Clark and Pete
If Jonathan had his wits about him he could have claimed an elaborate game of hide and seek and maybe he could have kept the octagon.
"You don't have to worry about me." "Rodents of unusual size? I don't believe they exist..."
Either the ship fixed her fertility problem or now she’s pregnant with a little ship. Jonathan taking the news that his wife's seeing another spaceship surprisingly well
That burst of energy probably irradiated the spores
So, yes then,
Oh don’t talk to Lana about mother loss, you’ll only set her off again.
Except for the day when she forgot all about Clark's irrational fear and nipped out to the shops... Martha should’ve hidden just the once.
Ow, that would have hurt, not to mention damage the steps. Oh, I’ve fallen down steps in just that manner in Aber, but they were stone. Hurts like a bitch. Tell me about it. I did that on my last day at my hateful job, strode triumphantly out of the room carrying two wine glasses, lost my footing and fell down about 15 concrete steps. The wine glasses were fine
Shouldn't she pull his t-shirt up when she uses the stethoscope? Another opportunity wasted
By anybody he means Lex
Sick Clark is very sexy.
Oh I hate people who can focus microscopes that quickly. It always used to take me ages just to find the slide
This is bitter-yet-magnanimous!Lex
Guilt trip! Lex is a very skilled operator.
Chloe has a nice shiny car. You have a strange attachment to these Beetles, they're horrible looking cars, especially as a soft top
Wow, that's some cleavage Chloe's got there
Chloe doesn't wonder why Clark isn't in the hospital?
I like the way nobody's got the strength to carry Clark to a bed
TW's managed to get the cushy acting role this week. Though it must be terribly hard to lie there and not giggle whilst someone emotes at you
Is he faking here? To avoid the embarrassing eye contact?
He didn't run away at the formal, he ran to. It's just that the 'to' was to somebody else
Oh, poor Chloe. Oh Chloe, you are only going to get embarrassed or hurt, why bother?
Life is generally easier when men are unconscious.
He's going to say Lana isn't he?
You bastard Clark. I know he’s sick, but he deserves a good slap for that.
Oh stupid boy, that was the exactly the wrong thing to say. See. We told him that was going to be a bad habit
What’s Jonathan going to do, knock on the door and ask for his key back?
Clark, just stay there in your blanket and look woebegone, You'll only get in the way if you go
Jonathan Kent taking on the might of the Military Police. In the words of the immortal Josh Lyman, "What could possibly go wrong..."
Ooh, Harrison doors.
Has Jonathan infiltrated the military before? He seems to be doing awfully well for a first-timer. These are military police. Smallville military police. I doubt it takes much to get past them.
Gee that's a stealthy and inconspicuous search. No one will ever notice anything's been tampered with
Why bother putting an alarm on a door that you haven't bothered to lock?
Clark staggers unsteadily for his life
Military vehicles can't overtake a farm truck?
Hah, Decoy!Pete.
Ah, that was a polite way of saying Pete’s black.
Nobody can see the ship? Out there? In the car park?
I hope that death isn't registered anywhere official, the last thing Martha needs after being released from hospital is to spend the next two days making phone calls to try and convince her bank she's really still alive
Is the ship going to cure the whole hospital, or just Clark and Martha?
I like the jaunty cafe-style umbrellas on top of the medical centre
Clark wants to know now
Why do people always feel the need to point that out?
That’s a bit of a stupid place for a secret handover of confidential files.
Why does Helen need two umbrellas in her office?
Wow, a rare sighting of Nervous!Lex.
Helen's hoping it's chocolate
A key to the mansion, that’s not something to sniff at. You only need one key to get into the mansion? I don't believe that
"I want you to move in." I'm going to ask it again, why? What is it about Helen that Lex likes so much, because I genuinely can't see it. Okay, having watched these back to back again. Lex is only asking her because she knows about Clark. He is not at all innocent.
Oh, how often do you get a chance to use a headline like that!
Yes Lana, because deep down you are a hideous person and nobody loves you.
Chloe typed her emotional outpouring? I think even I'd feel better doing that kind of thing with a pen and paper. At least she did it in a sensible font I suppose, although I have some issues with the pink paper
Yeah, this is music to disinterestedly bop to.
"Latest Talon mix." Marketing opportunity ahoy!
Why would Chloe need another computer when she has unlimited access to all those beautiful i-Macs?
Yeah right, Lana couldn't give a damn until she found out Chloe's after him too. Bitch. She couldn’t even be bothered to visit. Bitch.

rosetta

Oh a flying dream, it’s been a while.
Tom Welling doesn’t look particularly comfortable floating there. TW looks absolutely petrified.
Was anyone else expecting his finger to glow there? “Kal-El, phone home…”
Flying, tunnels, pushing things into holes.. There are Freudians out there who, well, dream of dreams like this
Did he really need the diagram to figure out how the octagon slotted in the hole
Damn. Why can't Clark be like any other self-respecting teenager and sleep naked?
Well now who do we know who drives like that?
Brake! Brake! Not the Porsche! I’m surprised this isn’t all part of Clark’s dream as well.
It's a bit late in the day to be successfully sneaking in to that house
“What’s up?” More like, who’s up?
"Lex almost hit me with his car" Again
Jonathan is concerned with the Lex part, not the asleep in the road part.
Has he tried taking the key and putting it in the slot on the cave wall? That'd be my first plan of action
Nah, go in your pyjamas, give the cheerleaders a thrill
It's a what? Common practice my ass. Outdoor monuments threatened by pollution maybe, but a cave?
Just because you’re paranoid, it doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you.
Pete is the only person on this whole show with both parents still intact
That's a horrible noise. It sounds like a dentist's drill. I have high-frequency hearing and that happens to me all the time. I can hear the monitors screaming at work
Neither of the two women who profess to have feelings for Clark follow him to see if he’s OK?
That noise is the octagon's “hold me, hold me” whine. Very similar to the sound of Lizard's cat when it wants to be let in at four in the morning and announces it right underneath my window. Except the octagon isn't quite that insistent
Just pick up the octagon for god’s sake!
Oh pretty
Lex again. This is getting to be a theme. Sooner or later Jonathan is going to get suspicious that it is always Lex waking Clark up and taking him home.
Yeah the guards are about as competent as the police. The last one let an entire rave party down there
Ooh, the new Magnum Gluttony is out and it's all chocolate ice cream... Mmm... (Sorry, fringedwelling the adverts there). If you have a snack-sized Magnum Gluttony, would that be defeating the point?
Chloe is letting Lana loose on her computer? Is she crazy? Maybe she should find out what it was that was crashing Lana's hard drive before she lets her open anything
Aha, caught!
Grab her, wrestle her to the floor and kick her repeatedly.
As good as it is to see Chloe bitch at Lana, she should have protected that file. Anyone could have seen it as several people seemed to have files on that computer.
Lana suppressing an inner whoo-hoo
I wonder how they've rigged those hay bales so they're light enough for him to swing round? Although I do know people who can pick them up with one hand
We still think you’re an alien boy who needs to be hidden from the world’
Away from the barn Clark, away from the barn...
You’ve got to love Jonathan’s ineffectual jacket waving.
Love Martha's 'can't take 'em anywhere' face
What is it! Jesus people, cut to the barn!
"Lookie-loos"? That's so sweet!
I have a wonderful image of a lap-top Clark.
No Lana, don't call out, use this opportunity to stack things on his head and see how long it takes him to notice. Like Clark Buckaroo
Another family-related whine from Lana neatly avoided there by Clark. It's nothing to do with family, I'd kill my sister if I found her poking around in my computer, although considering the contents of my hard drive, it's possible she might just run screaming before I had the chance
You can almost see Lex roll his eyes there and think “Oh God, why do I have a business partner like her?”
Oh Clark you stupid fool, you didn't take it with you?
“Burning question”, ooh, Chloe’s going for the puns.
Wow. I'm impressed they mentioned the Rosetta Stone and didn't feel the need to explain it to us
“Why didn’t I see this coming?” Maybe because you were blinded by the photocopier.
Damn, thinks Clark, I knew I should have unsubscribed from all those mailing lists.
Her e-mail didn't ask before opening a picture attachment?
Christ, that laptop dialled quickly. I want one! Mmm Wireless modem...
Okay, I was expecting the glowing finger then
If I was Pete I would have lost patience and pressed the send button.
That really was an instant message.
It says Clark's a friend or it actually says "I'm a friend"?
The wall! Mind the wall! Does this man have any training at all?
Shut your eyes
They like blinding people on this programme. Well, they paid for those opaque contacts, they're damn well going to use them
Patronising is a good choice of reaction for Clark
I love the messenger
Lex is near to mugging Clark for that package now.
That’s an old picture of Christopher Reeve.
Is being stalked by a legend any less creepy?
Has he tried looking for intelligent life on this planet?
To be wanted for your barn. That’s so sad.
He still hasn't made a phone call, he e-mailed
I bet that’s a lie, I bet Dr. Swann’s dialled the pizza place. I made exactly the same comment, except I had him calling for Chinese
Information overload, that looks like someone who has just read all the Hattle posts on the message board in one sitting.
Has Lana got anywhere else to go?
Oh Chloe, how positively sickening. Chloe has gone down in my estimation.
Chloe, you're not that desperate. “You put me under sister. Why?” Because there was no box for terminally annoying houseguest, one would assume. I bet the teacher will mark her down for that
Oh, Jonathan's getting in on the family hug too
Aw, it’s so good and so sad to see Christopher Reeve like this.
If he worked in the front room everyone would be poking into his research
“Deliver him from evil” - does the spaceship count as first class or was that parcel post?
Don't poke the screen Clark
Lovely musical cue there
The second part. That's nasty. I can't believe he kept the second half back!
That windmill reference probably threw Clark completely.
“We will be with you Kal-el” but only in a vague and confusing way.
War, famine, disease, they usually don’t cause planets to disappear. The people, yes, but not the planet.
Did you miss the "last son" part of the message Clark?
What was that whoosh noise? Does the storm cellar have a hydraulic door now?
You're only alone if you want to be
What was that thing that Clark had? Where did it come from? Isn't it the tablet that Jonathan gave him in the pilot episode?
I half expected Martha to shout “I hope you two aren’t playing with that spaceship!” from upstairs.
Jonathan having a little nostalgic parental moment
Clark's eyes move from right to left whilst he's reading the circular message
"Not me, not your mother, not your..." Spaceship?
"And if you darn well try being a force for evil you'll be grounded 'till Christmas."
Clark Kent, Apologetic Destroyer Of Worlds? I can’t see it somehow.
Clark can’t lie well enough to be evil.
Erm okay wow. That was some episode
They couldn't have found a British number to call for the Foundation?

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