s1 ep 1-5
s1 ep 6-10
s1 ep 11-16
s1 ep 17-21
s2 ep 1-6
s2 ep 7-12
s2 ep13-17
s2 ep18-23
s3 ep 1-6
s3 ep 7-11
s3 ep 12-16
s3 ep 17-22
s4 ep 1-6
s4 ep 7-11
s4 ep 12-16
s4 ep 17-22
s5 ep 1-6
s5- ep 7-11
s5 ep 12-16
s5 ep 17-22
car guide s1
car guide s2
car guide s3
car guide s4
car guide s5

  

season three

go to episode

• I can't believe we're on the last page of the season already! This year has gone way too fast
• There’s so much comedy potential for jokes about Jonathan making repairs to his cock there, but I’m not going to make them.
• Don't try the eyes closed thing
• Martha constantly distracting him like that isn't going to help him stay on the roof
• Jonathan! Never, ever, tempt fate whilst standing on a roof. Honestly, that’s at least two statements he’s made there that means he’s going to fall off the roof any moment now...just like that.
• Clark really should be paying more attention to this sound his father keeps hearing. 
• Damn it, mobiles always go off at the wrong moment. 
• Look at Lionel trying to decide whether to let it go to voicemail. Let the phone go, the phone is not the most important thing in your life. You do not have to answer the phone. Well, obviously he has to answer the phone, because I don't want him to die, but I find it sad, if incredibly comic, he was saved by his mobile phone
• “What?... I am trying to kill myself you know, it is on my schedule for today.” 
• That's a little harsh. Jonathan went to Jor-El, Jor-El didn't bring him into anything
• Solve the mysteries of the universe, eh? Maybe they can explain where my socks go when the washing machine eats them. 
• Lionel knows, doesn't he? He really does know that Clark's an alien
• This is a rather strange sentiment coming from someone who blew up their own father
• My Mum got three sons.
• Run Clark! Run. 
• I’m as confused as Lex, I have no idea what’s going on anymore.
• Now that *is* Lex's obsession...
• “Mental illness is hereditary.” Oh, you just know Lex thought that line up as soon as he was discharged and has been waiting to use it ever since. 
• Lex is on top form tonight. “Where's the inquisition when you need one?” Well, they'll turn up when you least expect them...
• KansCom is a silly name for a company
• They need to hug now, if only so I can prove to Diminuendo that John Schneider is at least as tall as Tom Welling.
• That’s right, that little padlock will obviously keep the important 50p piece safe.
• That's Clark's first educational book of the season. The writers really are pissing about with the titles now aren't they?
• Careful Clark, Lex is going to start worrying
• Oh, the trite psychological insights of Lana Lang. God help us
• They're standing in front of the car! It's Lex's first new car for nearly a year and they're standing in front of it!
• Okay, Lionel has done many horrible things, but none of them constitute a Crime Against Humanity. A Crime Against Lex yes, but not a Crime Against Humanity. Although I'm all for having Lex declared essential to humanity. If only so I can go to court and demand him as a fundamental human right. 
• "It's not an archive, it's a room." That was a very subtle Spaced/Smallville crossover joke, that nobody is ever going to get. Lex's Clarkroom only really indicates a severely closeted homosexual, it doesn't prove there's anything suspicious about Clark. What has happened to the Clarkroom? Did Helen take a sledgehammer to it after the honeymoon?
• “Maybe if I speak into the microphone” - I *adore* Sarcastic!Lex.
• No! Lionel can't be there! Make him go away. 
• Well-mannered corporate titans always call first
• Lionel looks like he's wearing hair grips. 
• The locksmith isn't a bad idea. Lionel should just get something sharp and poke around with it
• CR plays Dr. Swan so amazingly creepy that it makes Lionel Luthor appear normal. 
• No! Don't be evil Dr. Swann! (It's worth noting that I actually yelled this at the TV, bounced on my futon and smacked my head on the underside of my bed)
• There's that admirable Luthor security at work again
• It was just the one friend, and actually he was bribing her
• Why is Martha dressed? It's the middle of the night!
• They're not very systematic FBI officers. They're just going to have to search the floor in a minute. 
• Hopefully he jumped in his truck and took off with the key
• Would Clark feel better if Jonathan randomly disappeared on a regular basis?
• Considering Lana made Clark talk to her dead parents, I really don't think he has to apologise for off-loading. 
• Oh for God’s sake Clark, get your tongue out of her mouth.
• That's exactly what this is about. It's a very fine distraction, but it's a long way from "Opening up"
• No, you've tried that three hundred times already. 
• Another parent-obsessed grave talker. We haven’t seen that before, have we? 
• Was that meant to be a 'Duke' joke? If it was, that was a very heart-wrenching scene to slip it into
• They really have a problem with the smoke machine in that graveyard don't they?
• I'm feeling sorry for Jonathan now, someone remind me what a lying, backstabbing son of a bitch he is again. 
• Why Lex? Why on earth would you say that? 
• Did Lana just lock Lex in the room with her!?
• That was such a stunned "He kissed you?" Poor Lex. Lex hardly managed to conceal his disappointment just then. 
• Oh, Lex-advice...There's going to be an appropriate historical quote soon
• Oh God, wow. Lex really shouldn't be allowed to drop his voice like that without an NC-17 warning.
• Notice Lex's immediate attempt to barge Lana right the hell out of Clark's life. Lex's "Back the hell away from my boyfriend" scene...
• Ha! See? I'm guessing he said it in German though. It probably rhymed then
• They're kinda stupid FBI agents if they failed to search the storm cellar. Oh hang on there isn't a storm cellar anymore is there? Where do the Kents keep all their storms now then? (Sorry, my head hurts if I don't say them, even if they do come to me a season too late.)
• How can she tell what's missing in that mess?
• Jonathan's being all cool now. I can't hate him.
• Poor, confused German businessmen. 
• They have a 'Most Trusted' list? I’d love to see the FBI’s most trusted list!
• "Can you?" I was just going to ask that
• Oooh, meaningful shoulder squeezing. 
• Well, he's trying to tell you to shut the hell up because he's wearing a wire. 
• But he's not driving his stealth car...
• There's a very black joke somewhere about the government storming farm houses
• That's a much better listening effect. Perhaps Izzie's ear letters have been working after all
• Did Clark actually bother to *listen* when he used his super-hearing?
• Whoo hooo! Surprise shirt ripping! Clark just threw Lex against his car and tore his shirt open! Which is however making it very difficult, if sadly not impossible, to concentrate on the shape of the folding hard-top roof
• From the lack of a close up I guess they couldn't be bothered to shave MR. You see quite a lot of shoulder though, and it looks fairly smooth
• Clark is really, really pushing it now. 
• "Somehow you've got two billionaires..." "Well, it's my stunning looks and magnetic personality..."
• Clark's yelling a lot in this episode
• Dr. Swann's house really does look like a museum foyer they've moved the exhibits out of
• Erm, is it possible that Dr Swann *is* Jor-el? Or should I consign that to my “Adam is a robot and other stupid theories” box?
• That's a lovely bit of acting from TW on "I'm not human". He looks genuinely fragile, and mildly hysterical
• Well done, Clark. You keep saying that out loud when absolutely anybody could be listening.
• I want Dr Swann's roll-out TV
• They just put the key back in the toolbox? Didn't they realise what a dreadful hiding place that was the last tme?
• They need to fix Jonathan some kind of leash to stop him wandering off like this
• Look at the highly trained security personnel run!
• Jonathan doesn't look like he'd be deterred by the Park Service.
• Wow! Look at Lionel and Jonathan go. This actually gets a bigger whoo hoo than the CLex scene, it's that spectacularly cool. "Weakness isn't something you're born with...and Clark learned his from you"
• Do they have any evidence at all that the farm raid was Lionel's idea?
• I love the slightly bewildered look on everyone's face, “Well I don't have it!”
• Oh, god the obligatory CLana coda which is just about to ruin a spectacularly, magnificently brilliant episode
• "Lex?... When were you talking to Lex?" I actually wish this episode wasn't so slashy, I'm starting to resent it distracting me from the plot
• Did Lana just say she might be going somewhere? Because that should really be announced with a fanfare. 
• Look! I told you. They are the same height. That's because Jonathan's standing on a tussock
• Thinking about it, why would Jor-El want Jonathan's health? What could he gain from it? There must be something else involved and the heart attack is either just a side effect 
• When has Jonathan taught him to to face up to his responsibilities? Generally he's just taught him to allow other people to be committed to a mental institution to save his own skin. 
• How..? How the hell did he get that!?

• Witness, if you will, unequaled entertainment! Marvel (or DC...) as Diminuendo attempts to operate a video, fringedwell and eat Chinese food, all at the same time! I bet they can't do that in the Moscow State Circus
• That's the original Mr Sullivan from the deleted pilot scene.
• I would imagine that being fired from a position he's held for twenty years for an unspecified reason, and quite probably without a reference, will be sabotaging enough. Lex shouldn't need to do any more
• As soon as you see that card you know what Chloe is going to do.
• Chloe has her very own black ops outfit. It's stealth!Chloe
• I would have thought that, considering their recent relationship, she could just have gone and asked Lex what was going on instead of needing to break into his plant. What is she breaking in *for* anyway?
• You know, I think that I would like a job that lets you ride about on a golf buggy. 
• What good is a dog in a cage going to be?
• Chloe, Chloe, Chloe, when will you learn not to stick your nose in where it doesn’t belong?
• She recovered quickly. 
• Shouldn't he have pressed the off button first? 
• Harrison doors! Nobody can resist the lure of the Harrison doors! Chloe really needed to reach back for her hat. If I ever tried that I'd get stuck right under the door.
• Don't they have any security patrolling the car park?
• Well she's probably busy. 
• Why would the pupils be interested in the private life of a teacher?
• Watched TV instead of prepping for class? Surely teachers never do that... I’ve never done that, ha ha ha, um, *innocent whistle*...
• Oh, I love Pete's expression... That moment when the words coming out of  your mouth bear no resemblance to what's in your brain
• Clark should be a lot better at covering up than he is. 
• That's it boys, discuss it just outside the door so Chloe can hear you.
• My cable keeps going all flickery, and it really needs to *stop*
• I thought Lex was going to put his feet on the table then
• “We all have our secrets” That wasn’t much of a loaded statement, Lex knows his father is keeping something well hidden.
• Oh, come on, how the hell am I meant to tell what car that is from that shot?
• At least Lex doesn't have to worry about the wire getting stuck to his chest hair.
• I think Chloe was expecting a "Fine" then. Well, you did ask Chloe. Never ask anyone how they are unless you are prepared for an honest answer.
• Martha just wants to know when she can have sex again. 
• Look at Clark desperately tap-dance over the truth while all the time wanting to stuff his mother in a cupboard. Oh, for god's sake Clark. Just say yes and then make up a story about your biological father. It's called a half truth, and it's so much easier than the full-out lies you've been trying for the last three years. 
• Only Lana would research Paris through a leaflet. Paris? What have the French done to deserve Lana? I hope she's leaving soon. 
• No she's not! She's standing around whilst everyone else finishes up after the morning rush.
• “It’s hard to make yourself scarce in Smallville.” Hang on, just how big is Smallville? One week it’s tiny, the next it’s large enough to warrant all sorts of facilities. 
• Swiping someone's security card and sneaking into Luthorcorp sounds exactly like Chloe
• The words 'Lab' and 'Plant' should be worrying Clark right now. 
• That guy was very forthcoming (over the phone to a girl he's never met) about his company's secret project and shocking breach of security
• Radical groups rarely blow up banks. 
• What point were they trying to make exactly? 
• Chloe has her best headline ever, and has ruined all future Torch editors’ hopes of getting ‘a big story’. 
• No teacher is that well loved. Most of those kids would be cheering at the thought of one of their teachers being arrested for murder. If nothing else, they'd be more inclined to behave in class
• They're green
• Yay! Watch Chloe deal with her power responsibly!
• Ok, mocking the cheerleader is allowed, mystery serum or no. Is that really the only thing that bothers Mindy?
• He should worry less about his homosexuality and more about his taste.
• Outing the football player is going to cause some problems in the locker room.
• It's not off the record considering he just announced it to the football team.
• For a secure area, this is stupidly easy to break into
• That filing system is useless. Firstly, it has no actual documents in it, and secondly no one has a file marked 'Records'. The cabinet is marked 'Records' and then all your records are alphabetically arranged inside. Sorry, random and completely unnecessary administration rant.
• Levitas? I do not think that means what they think it means... Wouldn’t veritas be a more appropriate name? 
• Clark is a complete and utter idiot, and more to the point he's treating Lex like an idiot and sooner or later he's going to regret that.
• Truthful Lana's actually quite funny, "No, it was you"
• Lana's an arts student? That's never, ever even been mentioned as an interest before. Although if she's going away I'm all for it, plot implausibility or not
• *Irritating* and self involved. No Lana, we think you’re vapid and annoying. 
• What's she planning on doing with the Talon when she jets off to France?
• What on earth is Chloe surprised for? 
• Oh, I hadn't thought Lex could find out that way.
• Oh, shit Lex... Oh god, don't ask Lex that. Although I have to say anyone who couldn't work that out by themselves doesn't really deserve the answer.
• For god's sake Clark, put your hand over Pete's mouth and don't let go
• Poor Pete! Having to give up a secret like that in order to protect Clark’s secret is going to cause problems later, I bet. I love the fact that fancying Chloe is actually higher up Pete's list of 'Things To Keep Quiet' than the existence of aliens. 
• Let her see you naked Pete. Trust me, that'll help
• Pete has an enormous amount of bitterness towards Clark, and Clark should probably be a little more concerned about it.
• That "dark side of the moon" metaphor made no sense at all
• For someone who has been infested with alien parasites, snorted behaviour-altering pollen and whos best friend is an alien, Pete is bizarrely sceptical
• I love the look on Lionel's face when he tells the truth for once. 
• I always thought it was the building insurance. Lionel's parents wouldn't have had life insurance. 
• That's it Chloe, reveal the evidence. 
• "Only person that has the password is me." So, if he kills you nobody else will be able to access it? That's smart Chloe
• Intransigent source*s*
• My God, Chloe is actually going to do that?
• See! He does know Clark's an alien!
• I like the idea of a psych. report being "disappointing"
• The guy has the electricity to plug in a fridge, but hasn't bothered to get an actual heater.
• Wow, that needle is huge. I've wormed horses and that's still the biggest, scariest looking syringe I've ever seen
• Clark should be thinking things through a lot faster.
• Is that Lex's bridge?
• They should strengthen the barriers on that bridge, or at least put speed humps on it.
• Where’s Chloe’s Beetle? Or did they not want to ram one of those over a bridge?
• That siding is holding up better than it did for Lex.
• Get out of the car Chloe. Take your seat belt off, and get out of the vehicle as soon as possible. Did Chloe learn nothing from watching Richard Hammond in a wet t-shirt?
• Is Gabe's car the same one that appeared all smashed up in the military guy's hideout in the previous scene?
• Clark could just have unclipped her seatbelt then
• Wow, that's an impressive shot of Chloe's breasts
• Chloe should have better underwear.
• If Metropolis is six hours away, how does Lex commute back and forth so easily? It's probably not quite that far away when Lex is driving. Also he has a helicopter
• Just think Lionel, why on earth would Lex be like that? 
• Clark has a full length mirror in his loft? Well, that's just given me images I'm not going to forget in a hurry
• "I'm leaving"! Yes! *Punches air and dances as best one can whilst reclining on a futon.* Yes! Go, Lana, go! Find some dreary, angsty French orphan and sell overpriced coffee in Paris to tourists for the rest of your natural life. Go!
• Lionel always knows how to make things just that little bit creepier doesn't he?  

• That's school's just the mansion with a plaque on
• It's Lionel's eighties hair! Aha, a flashback! I can tell by the restrained hair on Lionel. 
• Lionel looks suspiciously like he's going to use that torch as a weapon. 
• It’s blanket!baby. 
• Wow, Lex's voice actually rose during puberty
• If it is an attempt to get expelled you have to give him credit for effort.
• That's an incredibly unconvincing little!Lex
• Big Blue Pyjamas! All the best men have Big Blue Pyjamas. 
• What's Lana doing in the mansion in the middle of the night? Why isn’t she in Paris?
• Does Clark get time off from school to work on the farm? 
• Clark has good hair!
• I'd go all that way to admire his stall-mucking abilities. I'd fly half way around the world to admire Clark doing manual work.
• Should Clark be telling Lana all this private information? Clark should not be revealing highly personal information about Lex to Lana. If he didn't tell her himself, I doubt he wanted her to know. 
• “I haven’t lost my mind Clark.” It’s exactly where I left it. 
• Oh that's exactly what he means. 
• Good call Lex, it's about time Clark was challenged on a few things. "I don't remember questioning your mental health." Did it ever occur to Lex that maybe he should have?
• That is so out of order Clark. Apart from being incredibly insensitive, it's also a lie. Clark seems intent on reminding Lex he's crazy even though he's the only person who knows Lex was drugged. Do you think that the writers have forgotten that Clark knew Lex was drugged, or even that Lex *was* drugged? It seems to have completely fallen off the backstory radar
• Naked Lex! I should really be eating my special pudding right now. I feel slightly cheated that we have wet and almost naked MR and yet we don't get a single lingering shot. Although, I'm slightly concerned that I'm so absorbed in the episode I don't really care. Look, not a single 'Woo Hoo'.
• Lex had cheesy Wotsits at his birthday party? And in a big silver rose bowl...
• Oh, poor little!Lex. Oh Lex, sweetie, I would've gone to the party. Erm, it is possible that I'm actually crying. 
• “You’re a Luthor, and you’re, you’re…” bald. Go on, say it, bald.
• Wow, Little!Lex adored Lionel.
• Oh god! It’s the lead armour of St. George box! 
• Lionel made the St George story up? That's incredibly sweet of him
• He made the box in the middle of a battle? Considering the usefulness of the lead armour though, I suppose it is the only practical thing you could do with it. 
• Wow, Lionel being a good parent. That’s a first. I really never expected to say this but Lionel Luthor was a Good Dad.
• Okay, I'm definitely crying now.
• God, this must have been a fun day of filming for MR...
• Can Lex hear Dr Gardner while he's till in the tank?
• He's not lying to you Clark. You know what he's doing, you just don't like it.
• Of course, that's what this is about. Exactly how stupid is Clark, or is he just so self absorbed he doesn't notice anything other than himself? I sense I'm going to be saying the B-word very soon. 
• There's one very simple solution Clark: Tell Lex the truth about his father.
• Oh god, Clark. You went to Lionel? That's horrifically inevitable, but still shocking. He went to Lionel? Bastard, bastard, bastard. What the hell is he thinking? 
• That was the very definition of a sidelong glare from Clark
• Lionel can easily solve the problem if Lex does find out (and thanks to Clark he has). It's *Clark* that doesn't want Lex to remember. 
• Go Lionel! I'm actually cheering Lionel on here, and it's the third time I've watched it. It's about time Clark was told what a lying, self-serving, disloyal SOB he is. 
• Having that sequence on a loop is taking obsession too far. 
• Lex mentally crosses Clark off his Christmas card list.
• The edits in the sequence are fantastic.
• Eighties!Lionel somehow looks much thinner than current!Lionel
• Thank God they didn't make Lillian a red-head. Although, I have to say, this explains an awful lot about Lex's taste in women; tall, slim, dark-haired, and slightly unstable.
• Of course it’s natural, it’s post natal depression. 
• Lionel, I don't think you're helping. 
• "I see how you treat Alexander." Which, so far, seems to be very well
• That harp is a random piece of set dressing.
• Lex gets much better at lurking.
• I'm glad Lex finally put an end to the creepy, possessive touching. 
• Says the man who uses historical references on a daily basis. 
• Telling him Lex nearly killed himself would probably cheer Jonathan up.
• Wow, that was bitchy for Martha! 
• Lionel is never creepier than when he's trying to be nice to someone
• Is "Coming out of it a vegetable" a possibility?
• Hang on, how does that doctor know Clark? They've met several times before
• Clark should have a healthier fear of green glowing things
• Clark being stripped by lab coated men should be provoking more interest. It is disappointingly unsexy for potentially wet, naked Clark isn't it?
• TW has a far better wax job than MR. They need to swap beauticians
• Pan down! Pan down! More naked Clark!
• That dark sports car parked on the frontage isn't Lex's is it?
• That receptionist needs to learn to lie better.
• Clark wears disappointingly concealing underwear. Are those his unattractive red trunks, or did they put them on him?
• "I need you to relax." Well, that might be the most stupid statement of the entire episode
• I thought they were going to pan up his nose then
• I know they're not allowed to show any Kryptonians, but this scene is awful.
• I hope they put a very absorbent nappy on baby Clark, he’s a lot bigger when he gets to Earth. 
• Their secret, semi-illegal lab sets off an alarm that can be heard through the entire building? With lights and everything?
• Don't touch the hanging electrical items
• Well, that was impressive safety glass, wasn't it?
• “I’m going to get you out!” I just need to find me a really big crane...
• It's about time Lex got to do some saving. You realise this means that at some point Lex had to carry a wet, semi-naked Clark, and we didn't get to see it?
• What the hell is Clark pissed off for?
• "You kept pursuing it." Now that coming from Lex really is hypocritical
• Clark, you had lots of other options, not least of which was to tell Lex what he was trying to remember. The last time Lex had that information he was locked up and electrocuted for it, you have to understand Clark being loathe to let him have it again
• Lex was doing it to protect Clark? I hadn't even considered that. 
• Take note Clark, because Lex is fast running out of people to care about. 
• Did Clark actually just say that? I can't quite believe it. I might've put a lot of his actions in this episode down to stupidity, but that's just cruel and unnecessary. Clark deserves everything he gets from Lex from now on.
• “Take care of yourself Clark.” *Gulp* That feels suspiciously like The Rift to me. 
• Are they at the mansion now? I get very confused as to where the Luthors lived and when, but surely if she'd had the baby in Smallville then more people would know about it?
• Oh, the mother did it! Now that makes sense. 
• Lex took the fall for Lillian, wow. More importantly, Lillian let him take the fall for her.
• Lex just remembered his mother smothering his brother and it's still Lionel who was the bad parent?
• Finally, finally Lex gets the power, and he uses it to absolutely crush Lionel. 
• Three times! Smallville made me cry three times!
• I swear to god, if this is another stupid, f***ing, whiny Lana scene after *that* I'm going to put my laptop through the TV screen. Not Lana, please don't make this a pointless Lana scene. Wow! They didn't.
• There's another strange perception of a father despite all the evidence. Clark virtually *was* Jor-El for an entire episode, he knows he's not a monster. Yet he's still basing his opinion of him on the ship simulation
• “A mother's love never dies.” I think Lex might dispute that.
• You know, I’m not a big fan of these angsty Luthor episodes but this was a particularly effective one.

• Oh good, social commentary from Smallville again, this is always worthwhile. 
• He's a professor now? Someone wasn't impressed with the Native American stereotyping in 's kinwalker'. 
• Jeremiah (and Joseph for that matter) seem strangly biblical names for Native Americans. 
• That was rather unpolitic of Jeremiah. 
• Whoops, I think that Jeremiah needs a poker face.
• Analysed in a cave? Just how good is Miriam? Does she have a Contents Of My CaveTM analysis kit? 
• Oh look, as soon as his superpowers appear his geeky glasses disappear. Coincidence?
• But Lionel wants the shiny thing now! 
• Just how many armed bodyguards does Lionel need to visit a cave?
• Lionel's upset because he managed to just miss the superpowers *again*
• I'm always vaguely impressed by people who can read and climb stairs at the same time
• Clark has absolutely no awareness of people in that loft does he?
• "Those are a lot of steps..." He could always have waited in the kitchen with a cup of tea
• He was called Seget in 's kinwalker' not Segeeth. I know continuity isn't exactly Smallville's strong suit, but that's a really bad mistake.
• Never trust a prophecy.
• I want an Angry!Pete answerphone message
• What exactly is the matter with wearing the same clothes for two days running? I'll occasionally wear mine for *three* if I'm not going out and I haven't spilled anything down them
• “Laundry impaired.” I’m stealing that phrase.
• Eeee! Naked Lionel! There should be some kind of warning when that's going to happen
• Is Lionel meant to know about Lex's "law enforcement" friends?
• Look at Lionel all freaked out by Lex showing any concern for his wellbeing. 
• I'll pay for her to go. Damn it, have a whip around, people! Have a Get Rid of Lana fund!
• Lana's raiding the cash register to pay for her Paris trip?
• Yep, Lex would definitely pay to get Lana out the way. Chloe's pretty eager for her to go as well isn't she?
• There is no way that a teaching assistant would get a door with their name painted on like that.
• “Did you do this?” It's not so much that Clark is so uncharitable and rude to Lex, it's that he treats him like an idiot. I imagine it's getting on Lex's nerves too.
• Damn, the book-cover shot Izzie and I spent far too long trying to place isn't from this scene...
• That's an impressive amount of scorn Lex managed to pour into the words 'Term Paper”. Term paper? Such a weak excuse. Hang on, why is it that they call their terms semesters but have to write term papers? How
• Go Lex! I love it when he gets all sarcastic. 
• Can Clark think of no other insults other than 'You sound like your father'. If you're going to abuse your supposed best friend, at least put a little effort into it. 
• He says "Death rituals" like they're a very bad thing, which they wouldn't have been in a Native American culture, would they? I didn't think they were known for their ritual human sacrifice
• “Does it exist?” Yes, and no doubt Lana will stumble across it while angsting to her dead parents and get kidnapped, or Chloe will stumble across it while looking for a scoop and get kidnapped, or Pete will stumble across it in search for a storyline and get kidnapped. 
• I imagine it's only dangerous to Clark 
• What did Clark expect to happen then? All he did was make a really hot weapon. 
• They haven’t blown anything up for a while, have they? Yay! It's been a while since we had a gratuitous vehicle explosion. 
• Clark doesn't even consider that maybe Naman isn't a good person. 
• Did Jonathan fetch a mug for anyone else?
• Aha! Jonathan's deal has something to do with Lionel doesn't it? 
• It’s Dr. Frasier! She died and went to Smallville! Lex finally has someone to look after him when he's concussed. 
• She dismissed Lana quite wonderfully then. "Earl Grey, and whatever my client wants"
• The Talon's really not a sanctuary, bad things always happen in it. Plus, it contains Lana. 
• Typical of Lana’s huge sense of self in thinking that Lex would have any interested in keeping the Talon open after she buggers off to Paris. Lana really hasn't grasped the concept of choosing between two things has she? Of course she can't have the Talon and go to Paris
• “…board room barracudas…” and small-town sticklebacks like Lana. 
• The only reason Lex keeps Lana around is that she’s the only business partner that he can distract with shiny objects. Even Lana hadn't considered that Lex could actually do something genuinely altruistic. 
• Be the girl who goes to Paris!
• Okay, I have some major problems with the Lex/Lana thing they seem to be pursuing and I am going to be so pissed off if they use it as a factor in the rift between Lex and Clark. They've done so well with the various tenets of the Clark/Lex relationship to have it be over a girl is just stupid and lazy. However, I actually find the Lex/Lana scenes slightly less irritating than the Clark/Lana ones. This may well be because Lex threw his previous girlfriend out of an aeroplane. Also it's because his voice keeps doing this really sexy, rumbling thing whenever he talks to her, which eases the pain of the implied relationship quite a lot
• I thought Lionel was tied to that beam then. 
• Well seeing as you asked him for help last week, it shouldn't be that surprising.
• Clark was actually considering another pact with Lionel then.
• Dr. Swann still has the original, right? The travels of that key confuse me more than almost anything else in this entire show
• Yeah, the whole falling from the sky in a rain of fire thing really does tend to sort out the real Naman from the false ones. 
• Uh oh, that’s the last time that Clark will listen to one of Jonathan’s Cunning Plans. 
• Clark! No! Don’t stab the pretty boy!
• The Luthors really need to learn to check the chauffeur before they get into the car.
• I wonder what Pete's term paper is about?
• Surely Martha or Jonathan would have been there when Clark put his plan into operation? 
• Martha slipped on his blood. That's really icky and quite dark for Smallville.
• I know this isn't the time, but Jonathan looks really hot in a suit. 
• Jonathan still has the powers? 
• Clark knows the blade is made of Kryptonian metal, Lionel just told him
• Blanket clad!Clark is definitely one of my favourites
• Yep, the deal definitely has something to do with Lionel. I think Jonathan is supposed to deliver Lionel to Jor-El, or maybe kill him. Ohh, maybe Clark kills Lionel for Jonathan. *Brain goes into Smallville overdrive* 
• Really, it would've killed them to tie Lex down naked on a rock? There are so many more, better, people they could have put in that position
• Hang on, if the blade crumbles when Segeeth touches it, how exactly is Jeremiah going to stab him with it?
• Wow, Athletic!Lex 
• Lionel and Lex agree to never mention this again.
• And the doctors at Belle Reve are so reliable. Why is a man in a coma at a mental institution?
• Well, which one have you been bitch-slapping around for two years Clark? That might give you a clue.
• Yet again Martha's (and Clark's ) view of Lex swings wildly
• They said mild-mannered! 
• They're going to pay Lana *and* let her keep her share of the Talon? How does that work?
• Considering Chloe's father can't get work as a dishwasher due to Lionel Luthor, perhaps coffee shop management is his last hope of employment
• Ooh! Unexpected naked Pete. 
• Oh, poor Pete! He's had an entire plot going on, and nobody knew! That's the story of his life really
• Chloe's mother walked out, somehow I doubt she contested custody.
• How does Clark not hear Lex arrive at the barn?
• I think Lex is trying to make amends with Clark, but sometimes it's hard to tell.
• I've always had moral objections to Superman and everything he stands for, but I rarely get people agreeing with me. I feel validated that Lex is on my side.

• Two semesters of French will probably get her as far as the bus stop, and the ability to order coffee.
• Was that a dig at the French?
• It's open ended, so you can stay a really long time.
• That ticket is just a cunning way of making sure that Lana leaves Smallville as soon as possible. 
• She was happy for him to basically pay for her entire tuition by buying the Talon, but she balks at accepting a ticket upgrade?
• She's not going to go is she? they're going to get all our hopes up and then suddenly make her stay
• Lex looks way too pleased with himself right now. 
• Wow, she's grown. Emily? Oh god, that means this will be Lana-centric. Way to ruin a fantastic run of episodes.
• It seems slightly odd that they would let the unstable clone girl in complete isolation have newspapers, so she can make a scrapbook of people she tried to kill a year ago
• She's still got Mr. Honeybun the rabbit!
• Walking through walls would be an incredibly useful talent. 
• That contractor is working very late 
• It’s not perfect, the décor in the Talon is hideous!
• Clark's familial relations are hardly nuclear.
• I never thought my parents had all the answers
• “It has got to stop”. We've been saying that for three seasons now.
• Uncle Fester, that’s a good one.
• The Mona Lisa's a big disappointment
• Something bad is going to happen to Pete isn't it? 
• Oh for God’s sake Clark, let her go! You really are the only one who wants her to stay.
• Clark's hair is starting to look good just in time for the end of the season . 
• Why would she keep an obviously sentimental object like a bracelet that belonged to her mother in a school locker? 
• Oh, it’s Emily, I had forgotten about her.
• Janitor! I really can't see Mr Dinsmore without expecting him to do something humorous and janitorial.
• How is this Mr Dinsmore's fault? Lionel's the one who was in charge.
• That "Vibrating so fast they can move through matter" thing still doesn't work
• Do it again! Do it again!
• "Next thing you know..." You've moved onto another obsession and completely forgotten your last one?
• Caffienatee, the person supplying the coffee would be a caffienator
• Putting Lana and the irritating little girl in the same scene does nothing to endear me to Lana. 
• Three loaves of bread? How many sandwiches is Martha planning to make? 
• I love Martha's Aga
• Clark can cook? 
• Yeah, Pete and Clark have been great friends this season . 
• “Are you sure Lana is ready?” translates into “Are you sure that you have enough one syllable words for Lana to understand this?” 
• That's it Martha, you support Clark telling the weak, stupid girl who can barely tie her own shoes, that's a good idea. 
• That was a "Make your own decision" in the same way that buying the class ring was meant to be Clark's decision
• Doesn't Lana wonder why the girl's father (who allegedly has just bought the place) doesn't want to know about the delivery books and how to work the cappuccino machine?
• Lana’s instincts are getting better, she was going to run then. 
• I'm not seeing the point of any of this Lana storyline.
• Not that I’m complaining about the thought of Lana in a soundproof box, but where did Emily get that?
• Don't walk into that one Lex. 
• Gratuitous shirt ripping again! This is becoming a theme. Although it's concerning that Lionel seems to be far better at it than Clark. Lex has a much better wax job this time round. That's really very pleasant
• Go slightly-out-of-control!Lex.
• Has Lionel made sure that mike isn't still transmitting?
• Yeah, thanks to Clark he hasn't found anything. Lex is pretty screwed.
• “There could be a hundred different reasons why Lana didn’t turn up.” Maybe she got kidnapped, or whacked on the head, or distracted by something shiny...
• That's it Jonathan, You sit in the barn, the one that Lex paid for, and tell Clark he can go ahead and tell Lana.
• Why haven't the real new owners of the Talon turned up?
• At least Lana's got a view
• I'm ignoring these stupid Lana scenes, seeing as they have no relation to the rest of the episode whatsoever.
• Why has Lana's voice gone really high?
• Clark really needs to stop being so pissy with Lex. It upsets me.
• Lana going isn't Lex's fault
• I like Clark's little check to make sure that wasn't some kind of trick wall
• How do people get in and out of that school so easily? It’s ridiculous, they ought to charge for parking.
• Chloe can't stop being sarcastic, it's her natural disposition.
• Oh well done Lana, backbone at last.
• Run out Lana! Don't run further into the barn
• Wouldn't it make more sense to run far away and dump the bodies, instead of keeping them in cling film
• Lionel didn't illegally clone anybody
• Chlorine gas? Oh come on, you can only suspend your disbelief so far. Why go to all the bother of poison gas? Why not just do the cool hand-through-the-chest thing?
• Pete's still got his blue T-Bird?
• The one time Pete's not playing decoy, and he still gets stopped by the police.
• At last, well done Chloe. She has no superpowers, barely knows Lex and is putting herself in real danger by doing this, and yet she still does. So Chloe, who is using Lex to rid herself of Lionel (and putting Lex in real danger by doing it), is doing good; yet Clark, who is keeping Lex in the dark to stop him from being tortured and killed, is the bad guy?
• Lex doesn't look so convinced he can protect Chloe 
• They've been building to Lex finding this out since 'Asylum' and that's all we get?
• Pete! What's Pete done! Don’t hurt Pete! 
• After all the convoluted, twisted methods Lionel has used to find out Clark's secret, beating up Pete seems very out of character
• That's it Lex, give the corrupt FBI guy the only evidence. 
• Is a confession on voice mail (that Lex and Chloe recovered, not the FBI; with no proof that they didn't fake it, or that Lionel was even in the room, or any viable reason why Lionel would have confessed to Chloe) really enough to convict someone?
• That is incredibly magnanimous of Lex 
• Yet another piece of storyline they fail to follow up on at all. The Lex/Pete dynamic has never been explored and considering their connection in some parts of canon it seems odd.
• He's leaving? That was Sam Jones' last episode and he had three minutes of screen time.
• How is moving to Wichita going to help?
• This is a shockingly poor episode. There's half an hour of truly pointless plotting, and then half a dozen *spectacularly* important things in the last ten minutes.
• Conspiracy to commit murder, surely. Lionel didn't actually murder them
• Lionel is very smug for a man whose son was selling him to the FBI
• Did the FBI men wait until a suitable dramatic moment to arrest Lionel, or did they take the stairs?
• Kudos to Lex for not once breaking eye contact. 
• Okay, this episode was stupid. They threw away so much important stuff, stories they have been building for an entire season. Lex finding about Lionel, Pete leaving, Chloe telling Lex, Lex shopping his father. And they threw it all away for what? The writers' pointless, unimaginative obsession with KK, CLana and the boring, childish merry go round of 'will he won't he'. When will they realise NO ONE CARES? Smallville will never get the credit it deserves if it puts out crap like this. I swear, the only explanation I can think of for this episode is that they miscalculated how many more episodes they had 'till the end of the season, and had to cram all this into the end of this one. There's no other reason that people who've written so many superb episodes recently would suddenly do such a bad one

• Oh look, a random naked girl. Why don’t they show more naked men? I'm not sure that they actually could show us more naked men. They wouldn't have any room for the dialogue, and that would actually be a bad thing
• Who's she... Oh, god she's not going to be Supergirl is she? They can't do that to us. They can't. Can they? It seems an odd time to introduce Supergirl, if that's who she is.
• Look at Clark all confused by the naked girl. “Mom? Did you order a naked girl to be delivered to the house or has the postman got the wrong address again?”
• Why have they dressed her in Clark's clothes? Wouldn't Martha have something slightly more suitable?
• Kara admires the crockery. 
• I love Jonathan's stern "young lady"
• Of course, Martha couldn't let a teenager come into her house without adopting it could she?
• Do the FBI often send in knowledgeable naked girls as a ploy?
• Jonathan definitely knows something.
• She's not going to be Supergirl... She's not going to be Supergirl...
• Home, where exactly?
• Good timing as always, Lex. Lex entering then heightens the feeling of French farce in this scene. 
• Clark tries to think of ways to explain the naked girl.
• Lex wonders briefly why the entire Kent family are staring at an empty piece of air...
• There's a limit to how celebratory you can be when you've just put your father in jail
• Oh god. It's about time, but still. 
• Hang on, Clark didn't see that. He got to Lex after that had happened (I went back to 'Asylum' and checked). I'm assuming that's a mistake on the writers part, but either way Lex is incredibly forgiving of Clark considering he knows he stood there and watched while Lionel fried his brain and then lied to him about everything for months. That's incredibly generous, and just for once I'd like to see Clark return the favour. It's mistakes like that that make me think any speculation about this series is inherently doomed. If the writers can't remember what just happened, how are they ever going to write the consequences?
• See! He is doing it to protect Lex. *Blows raspberry at the "Clark is mean" camp*
• Lionel is going to look spectacularly hideous in orange
• "You can count on it" Well, that's just quashed any chance of Clark actually being there
• Hurray! Another completely inaccurate set. 
• He moved to Wichita, the FBI can't follow him there...
• Where did Kara get the unattractive white ballet outfit?
• 14 years? OK, I’m confused again. How old are they now?
• They are really badly superimposed there. No Smallville finale is complete without a bit of shocking superimposition. It just wouldn't be right
• Again, Clark does already know about Jor-El not being quite dead and gone
• “I should have known.” Really? How could you have possibly known that your long-dead alien father would have chosen to haunt a cave? 
• Are lead prosecution witnesses allowed to visit murderers in jail? And actually in jail, not in a nice little visiting room with a glass window and one of those telephones
• It's a little late to apologise for 23 years of abuse Lionel.
• Lex is wearing some very noticeable make-up in this scene
• Go Lex! Don't believe the lying toad! And with such style.
• With Chloe's unfettered access to medical records, I'm surprised she hasn't accessed Lionel's and given them to Lex already. Hang on, didn't she have Lionel's medical records at one point?
• Trust Martha’s maternal instincts to kick in. Yes, she may be there to tempt her son to a life that will mean him becoming the evil conqueror of the planet, but she hasn’t had enough to eat. 
• So Jonathan's deal was to hand Kal back to Jor-El... Ah ha, all my theories were wrong, now there's a surprise.
• That poor FBI man can't be understanding any of this
• It would be easy to get a parking space if you could just blast cars out of existence like that. 
• What kind of consequences will losing his corrupt FBI man have for Lionel? Or for the prosecution case... What happens when the arresting officer suddenly vanishes without a trace?
• The important thing is she vaporised someone. No one's going to notice. 
• Martha seems overly concerned that Kara killed someone considering the number of times Clark's been involved in deaths or had people committed just to protect the secret. 
• Far be it from me to defend Jonathan Kent, but I'm not sure what else he could've done. 
• Perhaps for the same reason you hid the key in a flour jar and didn't tell anyone.
• Martha is being incredibly out of character here, she seems almost eager to give Clark up
• I'm quite impressed that Jonathan managed to snag that cup before Martha washed it up
• Chloe doesn't stop asking questions of anyone else, so why would she start with Jonathan?
• She has a fingerprint guy? How do you get all these guys with useful skills?
• Jonathan underestimates how long it's going to take. 
• Hasn't she gone already? 
• Lana has bad hair! That always gives me a little lift
• Is California the most exotic place Clark could think of? 
• Lana could probably get at least a semester's tuition just by selling that car
• *I* know Clark and Lana aren't meant to be
• The old ones are the best "We're doing it for the sake of the species". Um, preserve the race for one more generation maybe, but that’s it. Unless there are a few more rogue Kryptonians running around out there. 
• Ah, a generic courier company with an unimaginative name 
• That's an incredibly large envelope for a small key
• Oh god, that's the key to the Clarkroom isn't it? Lionel, you complete and utter bastard.
• Surely major institutions could afford a doorbell?
• For God’s sake, he’s an evil man! Stick him prison and let him rot.
• Chloe really is the only person who understands Lex at all. 
• How many visitors are they going to let Lionel have?
• It actually is the Clarkroom key. Lionel Luthor really does just live to screw Lex over. 
• I'm certain Lex has a pretty good idea though. Blimey, Clark and I just said the same thing. Clark is quite wonderfully pissy in this scene, isn't he?
• This only goes to prove that Clark has absolutely no faith in Lex. He has seen the lengths to which Lionel will go to destroy his son, and yet Clark's doubts about Lex still win out. I know Lex has been investigating Clark, and I have no problem with Clark doubting him and being angry, but I have a massive problem with Clark claiming to be Lex's friend while he does it. 
• That's a new Clarkroom. Lex upgraded! He also has a new (and very attractive) big picture... He must have re-instated the Clarkroom after he came back from the island, if we're assuming that's Lex's room and not a set-up.
• Why does Lex leave all the computers running in the Clarkroom? 
• Lex has green and red kryptonite? Lex doesn't have the bullets, or the Goa'uld, and where's the Porsche? I'm inclined to think this is a set up. There's no way Lex is stupid enough to keep the Clarkroom after he knows Helen betrayed him, and why didn't the FBI find it?
• Talk your way out of this one Lex. 
• Only Lex could stand next to a six foot high picture of Clark in the Clarkroom, and say "This isn't about you..."
• Clark has metaphorical hidden dark places, Lex, you have an actual room. And Clark keeps his own secrets in them, not giant pictures of Lex. That we know of
• That's it Clark, show absolutely no forgiveness whatsoever, despite the fact that Lex just forgave you for standing back and watching him being tortured. 
• If it wasn't for Lex's masochistic streak, I'd wonder why he didn't deny that the room is his. I'm still inclined to believe this is a set up.
• Only after you repeatedly betrayed them Clark, it's to be expected. 
• Don't worry Clark, I'd forgotten about her too.
• Not just any Lex, a very very hot Lex.
• Why isn't Lana testifying that Lionel sent Adam to spy on her?
• Lex is just making damn sure she gets on the plane.
• Lex looks incredibly uncomfortable in that hug. That's partly because he's having to bend almost double to put his arm round her shoulders
• It’s sad, but if someone was coming to say goodbye to me in a romantically maudlin way, I’d prefer they bought me a book to read.
• Don't get all pissy Clark, it's your own fault you didn't turn up. 
• Yes Lex, why would he do that?
• Jeans? At a courthouse? 
• No! *Gulp* 
• For a man who's spent an entire season in a moral no man's land, Clark is incredibly self-righteous about doing the 'right thing'. 
• I really thought Clark was naked then, sadly it was just a very close-fitting t-shirt
• Oh, she's taking just a little of bit pleasure. 
• Lara? Okay that's low
• Clark! Come away from the light!
• I think Jonathan should stand further away from painful looking light that really doesn't like him 
• Strangled by an electric tentacle is not the way I would want to die.
• I apologise for the shallow comment at a moment of high drama, but the threatening wind is doing wonders for Clark's hair
• Gargh! Nooooooo! 
• It’s not until Lionel gets that highly symbolic headshaving (symbolic of what I have no idea, but it’s done slowly over classical music, so it must be symbolic of something) that you realise just how much his ears stick out.
• Why is another prisoner shaving Lionel's head? Don't they have barbers to do that?
• Hasn't John Glover had that hair since forever?
• Look how thrilled Mr. Sullivan is about the cool witness protection home! Ha! You have to love Robert Wisden. I fear that may be the last we see of him, but what a way to go out. 
• Erm... They blew up Chloe! 
• Lex No! Not Lex as well. They damaged Corporate!Lex!
• Oh my God! Chloe! Lex! Jonathan! I’m not quite sure which one I’m panicking more about. 
• That's the symbol for father. I know this because Diminuendo and I spent twenty minutes searching through old episodes to check. 
• Is he..? How naked is he in there? He's totally naked! It somehow seems apt to end on naked!Clark.
• Huh? Okay, *gulp*, what just happened? *Panic*. Let's start with the people who are safe: Martha is fine, although she is failing to react to a large fire, and no longer has anyone to make tea for. Lana is thousands of miles away, which can only be a good thing. Lionel is alive, although with cold ears and a horrible jumpsuit. He's not actually in prison though is he, just on remand, and I'm inclined to think he'll be released, because they hadn't really invested in that prison set. They can't kill Clark, but he is trapped inside a cave wall with no clothes. The naked bit isn't so much a problem as his natural state of being. Apart from a scary cloning theory Diminuendo has, I'm fairly certain Lex will survive, although I have absolutely no idea why Lionel would try to kill him. He lives to psychologically screw with Lex, and why go to all the trouble to show Clark the Clarkroom if you're then going to kill Lex? I am slightly concerned about Jonathan, but I still hold that the paternal relationship parallels between Clark and Lex are too strong for them to kill one father off so soon. Which leaves us with Chloe. Oh dear. They wouldn't get rid of Pete *and* Chloe would they? I'm not sure how they can get themselves out of this one though. The only real solution is for it to be a set up, and for Chloe to come back in witness protection as Lois Lane. I'm not sure how they could carry that off, but this is Smallville witness protection so anything is possible. I'm willing to go out on a limb and say that Chloe categorically isn't dead. Whether she survives the explosion, or whether she was never in danger at all I'm not sure, but she isn't dead. I am also scared by the cloning theory, so I won't go into that, and will go with Lex surviving too, possibly proving his meteor-influenced healing to exist. I am inclined to think though (and becoming more so) that Lionel isn't involved with either Chloe or Lex (Chloe's evidence *can't* be strong enough to convict him, and there would be more to link him with Chloe's death now than there ever could be with a 40 year old murder he didn't even commit). That does however mean there must be someone else involved,  and whilst the number of people with a grudge against Lex is incalculable (Lucas, Helen, possibly Edge if he isn't dead, any number of random crackpots) I can't think of that many with a pressing need to get rid of Chloe... I'm going for the 25/1 shot- 'someone we've never even heard of before', with a side bet on it all being a set-up for nefarious purposes of Lex and Chloe's own