Let Me Taste Your Voice ...
 "The great thing about being rich is that I can afford you and I can afford more surgery when I've done getting my limbs back into the right shape. A tuck here a bit added here. All nice and firm and injected with silcone and botox. A face filled with poison, would that suit me?
"
"What about the bastard interview. So fuckin what. So fuckin what? I haven't got the damn job anyway, have I? What's the point in being nice to you?"
ZARA
Can I touch your eyelids?… I’ve always wanted to do this. How does that feel?
BAILEY
A bit weird! This isn’t what I was…
ZARA
I’ve got my eyes closed so I can try and – is there a deaf equivalent of this? Touching someone to try and understand what their voice is like?
BAILEY
You could try shouting at them? Very loudly, ha! Sorry. That isn’t funny, laughing at people’s – less fortunate or whatever…
ZARA
Not the same. This is replacing one sense with another. Similar but different. Deaf people could lick your mouth. Put their tongue down your throat and see if they could taste your voice.
BAILEY
That’s an idea! Huh.
ZARA
Can I try?
BAILEY
Sorry!?
ZARA
Can I try?
BAILEY
Y’know, I’m the one that’s partially sighted – if anyone should be doing things like this!… I mean, I don’t mind – object to you being interested, asking questions. I’m not trying to be politically correct and say, don’t mention it – “I’m the same as everyone”. Equal. It’s the first thing that people – it’s only natural. I don’t want to be… but – this is getting a bit too weird for me. This isn’t the sort of job interview I was expecting.
HE STANDS AND BACKS AWAY, ZARA OPENS HER EYES, REACHES FOR HER ZIMMER FRAME. LEANS ON IT.
ZARA
You have normal interviews for normal jobs.
BAILEY
I guess.
ZARA
If you’re going to be working with me. Looking after me – caring 24/7 – there’s no point in me pretending. If we don’t get on… If you don’t get my sense of humour –
BAILEY
I’m not saying I don’t –
ZARA
Perhaps it’s best that we understand where we’re both coming from. ‘Stead of asking straightforward questions. Have you got a CV?
HE RUMMAGES IN HIS BACKPACK, LOOKING FOR THE CV. SHE TRIES TO STAND ON THE ZIMMER, PUSHING DOWN WITH ALL HER STRENGTH BUT CAN’T MAKE IT. SHE SLUMPS BACK AND BREATHES HARD.
BAILEY
Somewhere. Yes, here.
HE HANDS HER THE CV. SHE TAKES IT, GLANCES AT IT, CHUCKS IT AWAY.
ZARA
But then, isn’t it more interesting if we just talk? Or touch?
BAILEY
I’m not saying I mind.
ZARA
You don’t mind that I’ve still got my eyes closed?
HER EYES ARE OPEN. SHE PULLS A STUPID FACE.
BAILEY
Of course I don’t mind! But it is a little bit UN-usual.
ZARA
How much can you see?
SHE GURNS AND WAVES HER HANDS IN THE AIR. SHE PUSHES HERSELF UP AS HE SPEAKS. WALKS WITH THE ZIMMER SO THAT SHE IS BEHIND HIM. SHE ISN’T QUICK OR QUIET. BAILEY TURNS AS SHE MOVES SO HE IS TALKING TO HER.
BAILEY
Outlines. I can see the light from the window. I can see the chair where you’re… A doctor told me patients with my condition are often described as Monets. It’s not a medical term – it’s a doctor slang-thing. It’s like if you’re short-sighted, everything looks blurred from a distance.
ZARA
Is there any way – if you had the money?
BAILEY
To improve my sight? It’s getting worse – have I told you that already? It’s on the CV. Which was why I was surprised – pleased! – but surprised, when I got the interview.
ZARA
Do you mind if I touch… ?
BAILEY
No, go ahead.
HE MOVES TOWARDS HER AGAIN. SHE LEANS ON THE ZIMMER WITH ONE HAND AND CARESSES HIS FACE.
ZARA
I want to try and experience how meeting someone must be for you. Is it true what they say that when you lose one of your senses the others become more keen.
BAILEY
Like blind piano tuners, you mean?
ZARA
As a for instance. Deaf painters.
BAILEY
Deaf composers.
ZARA
I don’t think that’s possible.
BAILEY
Beethoven?
ZARA
I’m trying to say – you feel your senses are heightened?
BAILEY
Tone deaf so wouldn’t be much use at tuning pianos. Besides, I’m not “blind”, I’m partially sighted.
ZARA
Your sense of touch must be… so delicate, so measured… With my eyes closed it’s like all the nerve ends in my fingers are tickling with electricity.
SHE LETS GO OF THE ZIMMER SO SHE CAN TOUCH HIM WITH BOTH HANDS.
BAILEY
It’s probably just the novelty factor. Ha.
ZARA
I can feel that you’ve got these wide cheekbones, you’ve shaved recently – you missed a bit under your chin. Long curly hair tied back into a ponytail. Your nose is – here’s unusual – I can feel you but I don’t have the words to describe what I feel. I was going to say – your nose feels big but good. What kind of description is that? How could anyone make sense of that? I’ve got a picture of you in my mind, but I can’t even tell you what you look like.
SHE STUMBLES AND THE ZIMMER GOES DOWN. SHE IS HOLDING ONTO HIM, HOLDING HERSELF UP AS SHE TOUCHES HIM. BAILEY RAISES HIS ARMS TO HOLD HER BUT THEN DOESN’T WANT TO TOUCH. HIS ARMS OUT READY TO CATCH HER AS SHE GRIPS ONTO HIS FACE TOO TIGHTLY.
BAILEY
You must have seen me when I came in?
ZARA
I’m re-remembering and imagining you. I’ll open my eyes soon and see how it fits. I can see you – all except your teeth – you could open up your mouth and it’d be tombstones and gums.
HE TAKES HER WRISTS AND PUTS HER HANDS ON HIS SHOULDERS. IT LOOKS LIKE THEY’RE DANCING, SWAYING AS THEY TRY TO BALANCE, BAILEY MOVING AS SHE DOES.
BAILEY
You’d notice when I speak.
ZARA
Would I?
BAILEY
Brush everyday – only three fillings in my life – look.
ZARA
Don’t want to look.
BAILEY
Could smell my breath.
ZARA
Go on… Garlic? No, onions.
BAILEY
Sorry. Cheese’n’onion crisps at the bus stop. I didn’t think we’d be…
ZARA
It’s not your fault. There’s an oniony top-note but behind that… breathe again… seems like no real staleness.
HER HEAD IS CLOSE TO HIM, TILTED TO ONE SIDE LIKE THEY MIGHT KISS. BAILEY TURNS AWAY. HE THINKS THEN LEADS HER BACK TO THE CHAIR.
BAILEY
Let me… Can I ask a bit more about the job?
ZARA
Working for me.
BAILEY
Doing what?
ZARA
You would be my helper. A sort of guide dog for the sick.
SHE SITS. HE PICKS UP THE BLANKET AND PUTS IN ON HER KNEE. HE BACKS AWAY. SHE PICKS UP THE BLANKET AND CHUCKS IT AT HIM. HE BRINGS IT BACK AND PUTS IT AT HER FEET, SHE REACHES UP TO FEEL HIS FACE. HE IS BENT FORWARD UNCOMFORTABLY. HER EYES ARE OPEN NOW, SHE LOOKS AT HIM CLOSELY.
BAILEY
Sorry? Is this – listen – I don’t think this is me. I don’t think I should be here. You’re still touching me.
ZARA
You object to me…?
BAILEY
I’m not… expecting it. At a job interview.
SHE LETS GO, HE STEPS AWAY.
ZARA
Right, so, let’s get down to business. In five minutes you’ll be gone and the next person’ll be standing where you are. How am I going to remember you? What are you going to do to impress me?
BAILEY
Do you want me to leave?
ZARA
I want you to tell me why you’re special. Tell me a secret. Help me understand you – or better – explain why you can understand me. Know how I feel. And don’t give me all this CV: I had this job here, learnt this skill there baloney.
BAILEY
I can – I can try.
ZARA
Here. Smell my breath…
BAILEY COMES FORWARD AND BENDS BRIEFLY TO SMELL.
ZARA
It smells of peaches, doesn’t it? My skin… smells of strawberries. The perfume on my neck is vanilla. I’m good enough to eat. I’m a fruit salad of flavours. If you bite me my blood tastes of honey. My clothes smell like a spring-time meadow - if you believe the adverts. That’s how I smell but it’s a lie because I’m cankerous inside.
BAILEY
I’m sorry.
ZARA
Go on. Speak.
BAILEY
My experience is… For the past two years I’ve been caring for my mother. I was at college, at the – when it started. I took time off. Didn’t think it’d last forever. Wanted her to get better – obviously! Expect things to get back to normal. Was the start of summer, due to go off on holiday in two days with my mates, with the college. Mum had an appointment but didn’t come home from the hospital – stayed there – straight onto a ward. I was eating chips and beans – that night - come home from college – wondering what’s going on. Doing my usual oven chips and microwave beans. And my uncle – came round to visit, asking me how I was. He said, it’s worse than we thought. She didn’t want to worry you seeing as how you’re going gadding off with your friends. He said that bit with a laugh in his voice. He said, they think it could be serious. I carried on eating my beans – because – what can you do? It didn’t start so bad, but one breast then both breasts then down into her intestines. But bowel cancer, lung cancer creeping into her kidneys. They kept cutting bits away and she kept starting again. But then… I think I should go home.
ZARA
Why?
BAILEY
This isn’t cheering you up.
ZARA
She lived for two years?
BAILEY
Yes.
ZARA
You loved her?
BAILEY
Yes.
ZARA
That would be enough.
PAUSE.
ZARA
You still cry?
BAILEY
Sorry.
ZARA
I wondered – with your eyes.
BAILEY
I’m partially sighted but I’m human. I still have tears.
ZARA
Would it help if I hugged you? It might help if you touched my face. You can, you still don’t know what I look like.
BAILEY
I don’t want to.
ZARA
You’d rather not know how hideous I am?
BAILEY
No. Just, not now.
ZARA
It might help.
BAILEY
I’ll go. You said you’ve other people waiting?
ZARA
There’s no one else but you.
BAILEY
Other applicants.
ZARA
None. Come on, give me a hug…
SHE HOLDS OUT HER HANDS, HE GOES TOWARDS HER AND SHE USES HIM AS A SCAFFOLD TO STAND UP. THEN HUGS HIM.
See, isn’t that better. Here, your hand, let me show you.
SHE LEANS TO ONE SIDE SO THAT SHE IS LOOKING UP AT HIM, SO HE IS CRADLING HER. SHE PUTS HER HAND ON TOP OF HIS, LEADS IT TO HER FACE.
They say this is the best way to teach someone a foreign language – repeat after me: the nose, the mouth, the eyes, the hair, the neck, the arms, the hands, the waist.
HE PULLS HIS HAND AWAY.
ZARA
I suppose that’s an advantage of not being able to see so well – the opportunity to be tactile.
BAILEY
Well, I’d never really thought about – it isn’t compulsary – to have a conversation. Touching. You don’t have to know how big someone’s nose is to like them - or argue with them. For instance on the phone.
ZARA STUMBLES. BAILEY TRIES TO MANOEUVRE HER SO THAT SHE IS SITTING AGAIN.
ZARA
What if you flirt on the phone with a woman? She’s coming on to you. Meet her and she’s grossly fat.
BAILEY
She could still be attractive.
HE MOVES AWAY.
ZARA
And she smells of onions… and cheesy sweat.
BAILEY
I could wash her.
ZARA
You’d need a big bath…
BAILEY
If I loved her.
ZARA
You could never fall in love with a fat smelly woman in a bath full of grey suds. I refuse to believe that idea!
BAILEY
Who can say? You don’t know who your chemistry leads you to.
ZARA
Do you believe in love at first sight?
BAILEY
Err…
ZARA
In principle. Though obviously. The practicalities. Love at first… an immediate chemical reaction to the smell, sound, touch, taste!
BAILEY
I don’t know what answer you want.
ZARA
An honest – would be good.
BAILEY
Don’t know.
ZARA
Honest answer other than – “Don’t know.”
BAILEY
It’s a nice idea but - don’t know where this is heading. Expecting you to ask me job questions.
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