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 Murphy's Law Of Camping
- Any stone in a hiking boot migrates to the point of maximum pressure.
- The distance to a given camp site remains constant as twilight
approaches.
- The number of midges at any given location is inversely proportional
to the amount of repellent that remains.
- The probability of diarrhea increases with the square of
the thistle content of the local vegetation.
- Scout troops of the opposite sex are only encountered while dealing with
the diarrhea mentioned above.
- The area of level ground in the neighborhood tends to vanish as the need
to make camp becomes finite.
- In a mummy bag the urgency of one's need to urinate is inversely
proportional to the amount of clothing worn. It is also inversely
proportional to the temperature and the degree to which the mummy bag is
completely zipped up.
- Waterproof clothing isn't. (However, it is 100% effective at containing
sweat).
- The width of backpack straps decreases with the distance hiked.
 To
compensate, the weight of the backpack increases.
- Average temperature increases with the amount of clothing brought.
- Tent stakes come only in the quantity "N-1" where N is the number of
stakes necessary to stake down a tent.
- Propane/butane tanks that are full when they are packed, will
unexplainably empty themselves before you can reach the campsite.
- Given a chance, matches will find a way to get wet.
- Your side of the tent is the side that leaks.
- All foods assume a uniform taste, texture, and colour when freeze-dried.
- Divide the number of servings by two when reading the directions for
reconstituting anything freeze-dried.
- When reading the instructions of a pump-activated water filter, "hour"
should be substituted for "minute" when reading the average quarts filtered
per minute.
- The weight in a backpack can never remain uniformly distributed.
- All tree branches in a wood grow outward from their respective trunks
at exactly the height of your nose. If you are male, tree branches will also
grow at groin height.
- You will lose the little toothpick in your Swiss Army knife as soon as
you open the box.
- Rain. ('nuff said)
- Enough dirt will get tracked into the tent on the first day, that
you can grow the food you need for the rest of the trip in rows between
sleeping bags.
- When camping in late autumn or winter, your underwear will stay at
approximately 35.702 degrees Kelvin no matter how long you keep it in your
sleeping bag with you.
- Squirrels.
- The sun sets three-and-a-half times faster than normal
 when
you're trying to set up camp.
- Tents never come apart as easily when you're leaving a site as when
you're trying to get them set up in the first place.
- When planning to take time off of work/school for your camping trip,
always add an extra week, because when you get home from your
"holiday"
you'll be too tired to go back to work for a week after.
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