Through listening to the Words of the Gods and by partaking of Alan, Yes Me's drive-by postings, a bewildering change in the language of those frequenting the GBS Obsessives Anonymouse Help Group's chat board seems to have taken place.
It is advised that, for purposes of continuing to communicate with your friends, family, loved and hated ones in the 'outside world', you print and distribute the following glossary, preferably on the back of large-scale colour prints of The Gods. Why waste an opportunity for conversion?????
| AAAAUUUUURRGGGHH! | the sound of PMS |
| AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!! | the sound of contagious PMS |
| Act of Worship | A Personal Appearance, a Gig, a Performance which is greatfully and enthusiastically welcomed by the long-suffering-of-withdrawl Faithful. There are certain rituals to be observed during an Act of Worship. See Sociabubble, Offering of Guinness and The Séan Sacrament. |
| Alan, Yes Me | the Great Hairy God himself, may he be forever blessed with shiny follicles. |
| All Hallett's Eve | A heralding of an AYM post in the Online Kitchen Party Chat. Or, occasionally, a follow-up thereof. Precise timing is at the Whim of the Gods. See B, TB Day. |
| AYM Day | a blessing upon the Faithful in the Online Kitchen Party Chat in the form of a Personal Virtual Appearance from the Great God Alan, Yes Me. Usually friendly and chatty in tone, as befits the Beneficient One, may he always have Good Hair Days. Can be timed to the day to coincide with the start of a Holy Procession, otherwise known as a Tour. Examples here |
| Bob, The Band | The Fallen One, the Guy With The Knees, Mr Flying Fingers, Mr Magnetism, a minor adjunct of the Great God Alan. The originator of the Ebobla Virus. |
| bouzouki | The Instrument Of Choice of The God Alan. Has been accused of being 'floppy' in nature, and of being played with in un-holy ways, but this is mere superstition and rumour. Some of The God's power and attraction comes from his plucking technique. |
| "bow chicka wow wowwww" - "awwww yea" | An exclamation of combined lust and pleasure. Heard with alarming regularity around whatever town The B'ys are playing in, whenever they go on pre-gig walkabout. Tends to be heard more often in winter, when the holy Knees are exposed to the fresh air and bracing winds. |
| Bra | "...a good friend, fully supporting and extremely difficult to find!"; "When I barely had 'em I was supposed to push 'em up, now that I've got 'em I'm supposed to squish 'em down". See also The Great Bra Toss |
| brandly | A Word coined by The Doyler himself. Indicates an excess of newness or proximic arrival: usage: "brandly new record..." etc. |
| B,TB Day | A Manifestation of Bob, The Band within the Online Kitchen Party Chat. Occasionally prompted by a Request for Information on the part of one of the Faithful, and always of a Serious Tone. See also All Hallett's Eve, and the examples here. |
| B'ys, The | The Band That Never Ends (hopefully). The Great Hairy God, The Saints Séan and Darrell, and The Fallen One. Otherwise known as The Guys, The Spice B'ys, and "they" or "them". Sometimes it's just obvious. |
| caffiene | Fuel of choice, in one form or another, for the self-confessed Obsessives. Cold or hot, cans or cups, with or without milk or, on cold nights with a Hair of the Alan, that's a matter of preference. PWAOWAH has it's very own Offiseal in charge of Coffee & Twizzle Sticks. |
| cat-licks | In Newfoundland, followers of a strange, conscientious religion, headed by the Pop in Roam, and involving the worship of one b'y (Jay-zus), one virgin b'y (May-ri) and one b'y (b'y-god) who may or may not exist solely in the spiritual realm. Apparently also involves men in frocks, small dark, velvet lined boxes and smelly stuff. All of GBS are rumoured to belong to this little-known yet widespread religion. It has not yet been determined whether they have rough tongues. |
| chapeau, saucy | A Vestment of The God, last seen during an Outdoor Act Of Worship, possibly utilised to conceal the odd Bad Hair Day that we KNOW he never has. See the Iconographic here, as snapped by the Unofiseal Fiona. |
| coke-aholic | An unfortunate affliction often suffered by GBS Addicts. It seems one type of obsessive behaviour can lead to another. Or, in the case of at least one Anonymous Obsessive, to 20-minute posts in the Self-Help Group, and the occasional night hanging from the light fitting in her room. |
| Coo | An achievement, goal well met, etc. As utilised in an AYM drive-by. |
| crappacked | Full to overflowing. Despite the connotations, NOT used as an insult. Usually. |
| Dance of Worship | The Ancient and Vulnerable Dance of Worship, a set of prescribed sacred motions, part of the ritual of Boston And St John's, much to the dismay of The Gods. |
| Dark Stuff, the | Can refer to either Guinness (dark stuff in pints), or the old black rum (short dark stuff). |
| de-funk | To clean up and deodorize after an Act of Worship, so as to avoid getting Funk on the Gods. It has been established through stringent scientific experimentation that Wet Wipes are not enough. |
| Dose of the Shirts, a | The general term for a group of unfortunate and disfiguring diseases. The fashion victims of these horrible syndromes, like the leper colonies of old, tend to inflict as much suffering on spectators as they suffer themselves. See also Orangebuttitis. |
| doyle | A tall tale, wind-up, embroidery on reality... oh, heck. Just look here. |
| doyling | The act of propogating a doyle. See above. |
| drive-by post | An off-the-cuff Visitation upon the OKP Chat by The God Himself. Distinguished by strange phrasings and cryptic spellings. On-the-cuff Visistations aren't much better. See Coo. And they're infectious.... the Faithful have started to do the same. |
| Ebobla | A horrific and contagious disease, which seems to spread along with Great Big Sea CDs and tapes. Can be most easily contracted at a Gig, but has been known to transfer to minors and juveniles via carriers, known as Contagious Childcarers. For a full description of symptoms and path of infection, go here. |
| erm...... | An expression most commonly found in an adult comic strip magazine known as Viz, which has been extrapolated to be the preferred airport-lounge reading material of The Gods. This expression denotes uncertainty or sarcasm. See Viz-ish. |
| estrogen brigade | A fond reference to The Faithful, The Feminine Supporters Of The Band. Usually to be found clustered within The Self-Help Chatroom, talking about feminine mysteries and the love of The Band. Or, at least the love of various bits of The Band. |
| Fallen One | Another name for Bob, The Band, whose divine status is in question following his use of Dark Powers to tempt the Faithful away from Rightful Worship of The Hoar. For an in-depth dissertation, see The Bob Magnetism Papers, compiled by The Spinne Doc, who succumbed to his powers long ago. |
| flip & f*** | Origin unknown, hopefully forever. An alternative name for a Futon, which seems to feature prominently in various Great Big Dreams, for the lucky Faithful. Saint Séan apparently has one. A Futon, that is. |
| Flip, the | Not to be confused with the "flip & f***" above. The Flip is a peculiarly Alan manover.. maenuever.... manouev.... motion, used to great effect during Acts of Worship to show off the sheer magnificence of The Hoar to the masses of Faithful who are huddled about. |
| fourthcoming | The holy and miraculous appearance of the Artefact known as "Turn", and the signs and portents therefrom. See The Fifth Mintoes for a fuller description. |
| Freudian Unmentionables | The endearing and obscene flips of the singers and insinuations that our esteemed Vice-President is wont to make when typing out her own drive-by postings. |
| GBD | Great Big Dream. A cause of much jealousy and sub-conscious examination within the Self-Help Group. If you start having these, you are way too far gone for professional help. |
| GBT | Great Bra Toss. A cunning plan to enlighten The Band as to just how many Margaritas there really are in the average audience. Also known as the Great Underwear Toss, Great Big Knicker Toss, Great Lingerie Bombardment, etc. See also Uglies, Victoria's Secret and leopardskin thong. |
| goin' Margarita | To behave, act, dress etc as if one were a Margarita. Involves huge expenditure on cosmetics, but very little on undergarments. Also involves a propensity to catch colds of the bladder, via icy draughts to the nether regions. |
| Great God, the | Alan, Yes Me. The Prime Doyler, Leader of The Band known as Great Big Sea. Mr Hair, The Hirsute One, whose hoar we all worship. Well, those of us that haven't been distracted by other bits of other members of The Band. |
| grody | The state of the average Worshipper following an Act of Worship. The state of The Band, too, so they can be hugged with minimum embarassment. Grungy, stinky, sweaty, fugged, funky, etc. Only cured by a good de-funk. |
| hoar | The furry stuff upon The Hirsute One. Followers of a lesser degree tend to think this only refers to his head hoar. Followers of high degree know better. |
| Holy Shrimp, the | The Place of Worship which does not rest. It resides in our hearts, or in cyber space, and it's best to keep cats away from it. See The First Mintoes for further details. |
| hup! | A Word Of Power, often uttered by The Hoary Person during Acts of Worship, possibly to Keep The Mojo Flowing or some such. Sometimes articulated as "Hut!" or even "Ut!" or the highly potent "UP!". |
| Knees | An Instrument of Temptation (two, actually), wielded with much expertise by The Fallen One, in order to tempt worshippers away from the Holy Hair. It seems to be working, to the extent that worship of Bob's Knees was officialy incorporated into PWAOWAH. |
| lather, rinse, repeat, Neet | A devilish addition to the Pre-Gig Preparations, resulting in this. An act of a truly evil power, if you ask me. |
| leopardskin thong | Preferred underthang of The US Navy Sailor. So much so, he refused point-blank (no insult intended) to donate it to the Great Underwear Toss. Which just leads one to wonder exactly what the US Navy gets up to on those 3-month tours of duty...... |
| lingual fracas | A Very Polite Euphemism for the Vice Person's Freudian Unmentionables and their after-effects. Also used to refer to the Great God's more amusing utterances: "Ich bin ein Neufundlander". |
| lollipops and cheese | Contraceptives, at anyone's guess. Please don't ask how to use them, but they seem to work for all 3 of Old Brown's Daughters. |
| lubrification | Enthusiastic intake of The Dark Stuff (either the Small Shots of Dark Stuff or the Pints of Dark Stuff), leading rapidly and happily to "excessive lubrification" a lá Paddy Murphy's mourners. |
| margarita | A femimine... feninime.... woman-type Follower of commando habits, with regard to underwear. Usage: "Just look at those two margaritas there, I've seen drag queens with less make-up than that.". Not a compliment. |
| mind like a mountain trail | "One track, all dirt". Used to describe PWAOWAH participants. Considered to be the highest compliment known to Great Big Obsessives. |
| mintoes | The Offiseal Chronicles of the Thoughts, Deeds and Happenings within the Cult of The Hair. Past notes and ramblings posted in the Archives. |
| muchly | Exceedingly, excessively, heartfeltly. Usage: "Thank you muchly", "I likes it muchly". On a par with brandly. |
| Mudder | The love of any Newfoundland man's life. Parent of the female persuasion (hopefully). Who made GBS what they are today.... or, to be more precise, who made them. |
| Neufundlander | An extremely hairy member of The Band. All of him, that is. Or another example of a lingual fracas. |
| Obsessive Formerly Known as Anon | The Vice Presidon't in one of her more absent-minded moods. Happens to all of us, it's a symptom of the Blessed Condition we all suffer from. |
| Offering of Guinness | After the fondness of the Gods was rewarded by an almost-spontaneous Gift of The Dark Stuff, (story here) the ritual of The Offering Of Guinness and The Sociabubble were decreed an incontrivertible part of the Act of Worship. |
| online bachelorette party | Yet another vaguely complimentary name for Obsessives Anonymous and the Self-Help Group. Coined when a miraculous Icon did appear very briefly - actually, it didn't LOOK that brief - within the confines of PWAOWAH. |
| Orangebuttitis | A rather nasty form of skin lesion, which can form after, or even during a a dose of the Shirts. Tends to make its wearers - sorry, victims - look like they are turning into a variety of squash (not THAT kind of squash! You should be so lucky). |
| phobia, Great Big | Due recognition has now been given to the alarming range of fears and nervous tensions that can be occasioned when one is gripped by The Obsession. A full list of Great Big Phobias and their effects can be found here. Not for the sensitive or impressionable. |
| prolly | Probabubbbly. Some of us under-do it, some of us over-do it. It's a transatlantic thing. Usage: "Prolly because I prefer it to 'Do ya think I'm Sexy'!" |
| proximic | Nearby, close to, almost, nearly. Almost near, almost real. Who knows?? Almost no-one. |
| Salivation Army, the | One of the many terms used to indicate the sheer bulk... er, mass.... no, that's not right.... the amount of fans of the female (mostly) persuasion who are known to be overly interested in the band and of course their music (mostly). |
| Séan Sacrament | Also known as The Offering of Sweeties and The Carrying of Chocolate. The parable is enumerated here. |
| skeevy | Ungood. Probably. Sorry, I'm British. |
| sketched out | Worried. So I'm told. |
| skiznap | ???? Some kind of a noun. Look, I'm British, OK!!!! |
| Sociabubble | Kind of like the Newf "Amen": to be yelled in the loudest voice possible whenever The Band partake of an Offering of Guinness at an Act of Worship. |
| sooky | Whiney, moaning, a Newfoundlander without that annoying built-in habit of optomism. Something that The Mr Bob definitely is not. |
| squibby | Squeamish, uncomfortable, or uneasy. Usage: "I'm feeling a bit squibby about hugging that cold, clammy guy, even if he is a God." |
| sucks big humbugs | An extremely bad happening or attitude. Usage: "my boss told me to turn my GBS tape off." - "Now, that sucks big humbugs." |
| The Hirsute One | The Great God himself, especially when wearing a Tarzan outfit. |
| the 'nads | Where to kick men who do not understand the fascination of The Band. Or, if you are the Spinne Doc, use the door of a popcorn warmer. |
| uglies | Yet another item to hurl during the proposed Great Bra Toss. Only for the male persuasion. |
| Viz-ish | As used in a British adult toilet-humour comic book. Or Carry On films. Or reviews of "Turn". |
| Vow of Washngo | The Code by which all true Obsessives of the Alan's Hair persuasion must swear to live. People who lust after Bob's Knees or various parts of Séan HAVE no code, they are lawless. See The Second Mintoes for the full version of The Vow. |
| wahoo | An expression of enthusiasm etc. Most commonly heard in the few days after the announcement of a Great Big Tour. By Obssessives and Band Members alike. |
| WHOA | Usually followed by more than one exclamation mark. Used to denote a mixture of shock and lust, first heard immediately after The Miraculous Hirsute Vision in the Self-Help Group's Chatroom. No, I'm not bookmarking that one! |
| withdrawl | The Great Big version of withdrawal symptoms, with reference to the Newfoundland accent. Particularly apparent when an Obsessive in a far flung part of the world has not had a Personal Visitation for quite some time. |
