After the shocking revelation in the Mintoes of Meetings that certain unexplainable events and phe... no, I'm not going there again. Anyway, since someone noticed some weird stuff happening around Great Big Sea, certain scientologist studies were ordered, for the safety of PWAOWAH and the world in general....
It has been noted by noted Unofficious Scientific Advisor Fiona that a phenomenomenomenon is developing which she names 'The Bob Migration', whereupon disciples formerly devoted to the Great God are mysteriously dragged sideways by some unknown evil force, until they find themselves standing stuck stage Bob, entranced into a state of hypnotism by his flying fingers. Suddenly, his habitual look of incense constipation is explained.
For the good of all Fandom, Fiona has been (hauled on board the) Volunteered to: "track its comings and goings, see when it allows itself to be seen and when it hides in the shadows or when it decides to reverse polarity and we get pulled (pushed?) stage Darrell."
TORONTO, ON
This just in from the far southern reaches of the country...
Over the past several years similar acts have been attributed to the local "fringe" personalities who frequent boutiques, restaurants, and bus shelters in the area. However, there seems to have been a sudden surge of energy into this pop anarchist trend. Experts agree that an increase in the following behaviours, denotes an almost undeniable trend to socio-cultural anarchy, but not the hurting kind: an increase in the number of interest groups gathering spontaneously on the street for the purposes of clapping, cheering, smiling, laughing, and merry-making ... inordinate "slipping" has been witnessed in seeming defiance of natural laws (I myself almost slipped off the edge just the other day) ... a native Mississaugan reported the unnatural sprouting of giant, black, hollow, gourd-like case on top of a downtown rubbish heap in front of "The Black Bull" restaurant & pub ... the appearance of "sociabubble enclaves" calling for drinks at area pubs - each unwilling to be the last to order ... and endless rumours of a continuous party that a band of residents have been heard referring to as "Justneverended" ... and perhaps most shockingly has been the recent phenomenon of "speaking candidly", beyond simply being 'cavalier', Social Critics have regarded this style of communication as 'ruthless' ... yet these charges are off-set by the even more surprising response to this candid communication which is documented as cheering, laughing, smiling, and even clapping.
Not surprisingly, these reported 'acts of no consequence' have officials worried. They are staying out late, for just one night next week to follow up on these unsubstantiated rumours. So far no incidents of harm or damage have been reported, yet city Councillors are wondering what impact this latest socio-cultural movement will have on the community. Although all effects are currently positive, Councillors are not optimistic. They have commissioned a special report by The NA-NAY-NA Group to prepare for the worst. A trend such as this one is bound to carry consequences.
Bob's Bee-in-Bonnet, (former Peace Negotiator and Insecurity Guard) Tina
Thanks go out to:
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| Notes on the Bob Effect: |
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These notes were compiled by the Spinne DoC.
Please email any comments regarding these notes and/or the Bob Effect to elliot@rworld.com. |
A disorder of the emotional state involving canadian folk music listening. Repetitive hearing of the Great Bug Sea Cd's can bring on an obsessive-compulsive disorder. The patient obsesses about the b'ys (a term that defines the 4 band members: Alan, Séan, Darrel and Bob) and compulses about going to concerts, even if the event takes place 9 hours away. 2 more diagnosis criteria were added in the summer of 1999: a sudden urge to go out without underwear, and speding 3 hours go get ready before going out. Listening might cause emotionnal distress, causing the patient to search avidly for social support on the internet. This need defines the stage 2 of the disease and might result in the onset of a second obsessive-compulsive diagnosis. This might lead to an obsession (and eventually compulsion when acting out is done) about visiting the tropical island of Newfoundland, about "doing the touristic attractions in Petty Harbour" (Petty Harbour is also known as the little frienldly village an orca attacked some time in the early-80's) and about just plain moving to Newfoundland, even though Newfoundland is basically moving to the mainland.
PROGNOSIS:
If the patient is still in stage 1, close check-ups might relieve the pressure on the patient's musical brain cells and therefore relieve any tension that comes from listening to GBS. The patient then leaves the cd's at home and feels no need to dance, nor to go out without underwear, and leaves the internet. BUT, if a patient has reached stage 2, prognosis is dark. It is very likely that the GBS patient who reaches stage 2-GBS will be an obsessive-compulsive for the rest of his life. It won't prevent them from getting married, but the obsessions about the b'ys thighs will never leave them.
THERAPEUTIC:
Not much can be done about it, except listening to GBS and eating avacado or being a seldom sober rover. Being a seldom sober rover might even help the person to get their loved one's attention when they end up rapping on their bedroom window in the middle of the night, but might leave subsequent damages when the girl doesn't leave the curtains drawn in the morning.
2 hours of PWAOWAH(support group) daily might relieve some of the emtionnal distress and anxiety felt by the ones who are left behind when the b'ys leave for another country or when they are in between shows.
