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| MAD SCIENTIST seeks incompetent deputy for bungled attempts at world domination. Must have secret underground lair. BOX 4626 | MARRIED bored house seeks bungalow or cottage for fun in afternoons. Flat roofs preferred. BOX 3853 | TIN-POT dictator seeks small Middle Eastern country for pointless invasion. Non-United Nations members preferred. BOX 4756 | COPPER kettle seeks element to make me hot. Up for threesome if you have thermostat to regulate my temperature. BOX 9871 |
| IDIOT seeks village to live in. Must have small public house that goes quiet when strangers enter. Villages with dark secrets preferred. BOX 2521 | POUFFE seeks understanding person to rest feet on me. Non smokers preferred. Feet must be free from veruccas, corns and warts. BOX 5963 | MEN! Do you want to be BIG? Then make the wish in front of an odd machine at a darkened fairground. Consider consequences first, especially if machine is operating but is not plugged in. BOX 4863 | OVERWEIGHT man seeks lard, beefburgers, Dairy Milk, whipped cream, popcorn, Doritos and Mars Bar for late night fun. BOX 3656 |
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RUBBER required to correct elementary mistake in homework. Soft
preferred, as hard ones smudge. BOX 4473 SEX discrimination? Contact us for legal advice. Females only. BOX 6713 AGE discrimination? Contact us for legal advice. Under 25's only. BOX 6714 NARKED comedian seeks puerile joke by using word 'narked' to make people think it says 'naked'. BOX 1231
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