[ Back ] [ Next ]            Home           Humour Index

Assorted culture dishes, incubator, rubber tubing, pipettes, a retort, microscope, eight 2 pound jars of genetic jelly, bicycle pump and 2 pound of best steak.

There are few things in life more exciting than being in the forefront of scientific discovery, leading the struggle to unravel the profound mysteries of nature and exploit them in the service of your fellow beings. The first difficulty is finding a brand-new field where the lack of competition will allow you to gain the advantage, and one such field is genetics. Our growing understanding of the processes involved in creating a wealth of commercial opportunities, one of the most dramatic being the principle of cloning, a branch of genetic engineering. Cloning is the experimental process whereby organic cells can be reconstructed to produce an exact duplication of the parent organism. Imagine the potential that exists if this process is applied to the human body! The applications for carbon-copy people are endless and provide immense scope for the entrepreneur. With a little hard work and ingenuity you could revolutionise the field of high security; providing decoy doubles, indistinguishable from the real thing, perfect stand-ins for movie stars, for businessmen taking long trips away from their families, and so on.

Before actually starting to manipulate genetic codes it is worth while taking a close look at one of the basic structures you will actually be dealing with: the Gene and the vitally important component called DNA. Genes are the fundamental components of heredity and are located among the chromosomes of living tissue. They are extremely hard-wearing and can be washed repeatedly without any appreciable deterioration apart from a slight loss of colouring; a natural phenomenon which is thought highly desirable in certain circles.

It is probably a good idea to start with a small person, on the principle that the smaller the body, the fewer the cells required. For the same reason it is wise to keep things as simple as possible by missing out the bits which make hair, teeth, fingernails, moles, birthmarks and other non essential details. Later, when you have mastered the general techniques, you can concentrate on the finer points which will give the finished results that touch of extra quality.