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A dark room, one large table and set of chairs, incense, a spirit trumpet, penetrating eyes, ectoplasm.

Before you start cultivate an acquaintance with your local priest. Sometimes things go wrong and a standby exorcist is good insurance. Learn a few Egyptian/Indian/German words and phrases.

One of the most important things to acquire when setting up as a medium or spiritualist is an expression of humble wisdom, to stress the impression that, despite you preference for a perfectly normal life, you embody, by divine accident, qualities which enable you to act as an intermediary between the worlds of the living and the dead. Allow your expression to suggest that it is actually a considerable inconvenience but one which you feel obliged to accept in view of the rarity of your "gift". When challenged as to the legitimacy of your activities, look sorrowful and murmur such phrases as "Oh, would that it were but a shallow deception," or "How I envy you your role as a shoe salesman. It must be wonderful to life entirely in the everyday world." A wan smile followed by the words "I see how difficult it must be for you to accept what you cannot understand" is also a useful one.

Your air of spiritual preoccupation should be reflected in the working environment which your clients will enter. Furnishings should be rather outdated in style, with lots of swathes of cloth and Art Nouveau decoration while a thick layer of dust will reinforce the impression that your attentions are elsewhere most of the time. This will also help to make your clients feel that you are not in this for the money and have little care for worldly things. …

Before your first appointment with a client, use your private detective to do as much preliminary research as possible to enable you to intersperse your improvisations with plenty of actual references. Do not use them all up too quickly!