I've known Tim for about 22 years and have been good friends with him for that time. My first memory of him was that he wore a brown Parker and tried to rope me into his Dark Tower tournament.

Over the years, we have done almost everything together (apart from shag - gay!), worked together, been on holiday together and shared the same house. To be honest, I'm surprised he still speaks to me!

Phil Fretwell

If I had to describe him in one word, it would be LATE! I've totalled up that I have spent 42 days of my life waiting for Tim in various locations across the world - that's at least 12 days sat in pubs on my own looking like Billy-No-Mates. It also means that he has spent the same amount of time faffing.

Other words linked to Tim are: milk, yoghurt, chips (not any more though), Jodie Foster, football, crap stereos, spicy beef and pineapple.

Janine... hmmm... either smiling or asleep! She's by far the best of Tim's girlfriends, although I'm not saying the others were slags.

She is happy, cheerful and fantastic in bed. There's never an awkward silence with Djanine, who is quite happy to talk at you for hours and not get bored.

My favourite Janine moment was her throwing a tray of pretzels over Tim one Christmas for no apparent reason - priceless!

To be honest, I would have to say that I think Tim is very lucky - one because she is such a lovely person, two because she waited an insane amount of time before being proposed to, and he wasn't dumped, and thirdly, he has such fantastic friends who put up with him during his drug-taking and shoplifting phase.

A final note. I would like to say that I hope I don't mess up your big day - and print this off of Andy's website as I may never say anything nice about you ever again! Also, if I have offended, it wasn't my intention.

Phil Fretwell,
Best Man.