Shopping for Clothes

In the early days most transgendered didn't go straight to the shops and instead opted to use mail-order because trans people found this provided a safe opportunity to buy and try out clothes in private.

Beware, not everybody who claims to be working in the interests of the trans person is doing so. Many businesses exist to make as much profit as they can with thye knowledge that trans people won't have the confidence to shop on the High Street.

This difficulty indicates why it can cost £10 for a pair of knickers from a transgender supplier when instead they would cost only £1 from a High Stree store.A further disadvantage is that certain items may not be returned. For example, if you purchase a wig or any item that goes around the groin (knickers, a cache-sexe) may not be returned if they have been worn. If you use a general mail order catalogue from one of the well known companies you have a better chance of returning goods. Many now include a crotch cover so that you can even try on Swimming Costumes and bikinis, and as long as the crotch cover has not been removed, they may be returned.

Shoes are another problem by mail-order. Most catalogues have shoes up to a size 8 (UK) at best. A few of the smaller companies may go up to size 9 or 10 but the styles are limited. Companies that specifically aim at the transgender community may go up to size 12 but, in general, the shoes are not designed for everyday wear, and they may be a little narrow for the average male foot. Many transgender shoe companies don't supply flat shoes and heels are not practical for full time wear. When shoes are available by mail-order, they are usually priced more expensively than going into a local shop, where you may get bargains in the sales.

Make-up by mail order is always difficult. What may look good on a model may not look good on you. You need to experiment with colours and types that are suitable for your skin colour and texture. You need to ensure that your make-up co-ordinates with your clothes, hair colour, skin colour and eye colour. There is nothing worse that seeing somebody who looks quite feminine wearing blue eye-shadow with green eyes for example because the eyes are a big give away. There are mail-order make-up companies that do let you have free samples. These should be taken advantage of as this gives you the opportunity to experiment and find the right colour for you.

Avoid like the plague any company that offers any type of hormone by mail. Some companies may offer hormone creams. Don't touch them. Firstly, if they worked, they would only be available by prescription. The UK Government regulates oestrogen and testosterone hormones very strongly. Some people have told me that they have bought hormone creams and they have worked. This is bunkum. Firstly, imagination plays a part. Chubby breasts will still be chubby breasts even after applying any form of cream, they won't have developed that way because of any creams that have not been prescribed. Secondly, massage helps to a small extent. Also, don't buy hormones from countries where hormones are not regulated. Without exageration, YOU CAN DIE. Hormones need proper monitoring by a GP, a psychiatrist or an endocrinologist. Regardless of how painful any psychological pain the risks from hormones are extremely serious. You are at risk of liver damage, thrombosis, kidney damage, heart damage, strokes, etc. Some of you who are not TS will become sterile or impotent, not a problem for most TS's. You will usually be quite safe if you are monitored, but black market and mail-order hormones are dangerous.

THE REAL WORLD

At some time, many people like to go shopping themselves and leave behind the mail-order companies. Before many people go 'dressed', they go in male-mode. So how do you go about it?

First, you need to prepare, especially if you are nervous. Many people believe that the shop assistant will think them weird for buying women's clothing. This isn't the case. Many shop assistants are on commission and just want to make a sale. However, there are excuses that can be used if still nervous. "I'm buy for my wife/girlfriend/sister/mother" is a common excuse used. But don't be too quick to use the excuse. It often looks rehearsed if you tell the assistant in advance. It is unlikely that you'll even be asked but it's there in reserve if you feel you need it. Another excuse of a similar nature is to carry a shopping list as if you were buying for a relative who is ill. It helps if you have details written down of what you want including size. If this method is used, you will often find shop staff very helpful.

As you get more confident, you can, if you like, tell the shop assistant that you are buying for yourself. In many town and city centres you will find the staff very helpful. Where single changing rooms are available they will sometimes let you try on the items that you wish to buy. This is the best option as assistants will usually advise you on whether an item is suitable for you. Too many people buy clothes that are too old or too young for them and really stand out when they change to their femme selves. It is often better for a person brought up as male, who initially has no idea of fashion for their age, to seek the advice of a genetic female when shopping for many items. By being out in the open, items such as wigs and shoes can be tried for appearance, underwear and outerwear can be browsed for suitable items for ones self rather than anything selected rather hurriedly.

In the UK, many stores are seen as transgender friendly for 'normal' shopping. Marks and Spencer is a large chain of stores which mainly sells clothing, and they're famous for their underwear. It is know that they train their staff how to deal with transsexual and transvestite customers with sensitivity and understanding. All customers whether male or female are treated equally. Shoe City is a large UK chain of shoe stores. Many of their ladies fashions go up to a UK size 10 and a half. These stores are very popular with the transgendered who's shoe sizes are above a size 8. Crispins is a less well known chain of shoe stores. They do women's shoes up to size 12. They sell more fashionable ranges than Shoe City. They are rather pricy but their shoes are man made using leather, rather than made on a machine. They also have a mail-order service. Boots are quite good for make-up and hair care. They are not the cheapest but larger branches do sometimes have make-up consultants who can advise on the best type for you. They are not judgemental and can give you a better idea of colours than you could on your own.

What do you do if you've transitioned? The longer you have lived in role, the easier things will get. The first time is the hardest. Not only will you be out looking for something to wear, but you're also going to feel nervous about being read. There will be a million things to think of. In theory it should be easier to shop. In reality, nerves take over more than when shopping in male mode. The first item I ever bought post-transition was a simple pair of gloves (It was actually a friend bought them as a Christmas Present), not only did I have to go into a busy shopping centre, but I also had the misfortune to do it in mid afternoon when school-children were leaving school. I was as nervous as anybody could be but that experience was necessary for me not to be nervous today. If you get to that stage, you will be able to shop anywhere at any time.

Good Luck!

Courtesy of Pamela's Palace

Reproduced by kind permission of Pamela Sexton

All the information in this information sheet, including the web verions remains copyrighted by Pamela Sexton, with all world wide rights reserved.

This information sheet was edited for Transsexual UK by Krystyna Haywood, 2005.