Chapter Eleven


In love, I panicked with the anticipation of going forward to meet her, as I knew I would panic with the inevitability of leaving her, as if the moment of anticipation sang in me and the song would fade. So in spite of the distance of galleries, ballrooms and lofty chandeliers, I was drawn by the wonder of expectancy and longed for the journey that took so long to meet her not to end, and when I had met her, not to begin. Does love make sense? I don’t think so.
At last I reached the large domed entrance to the Royal wing. I was so absorbed by my thoughts of Topaz that I was surprised when the two guards on each side of the huge oak doors snapped to attention and saluted me. A waiting footman hovering within bowed to me and politely bade me to follow him. Follow him, oh God, to Topaz!
More fucking corridors and galleries, my heart missing a beat every time we passed a door, expecting her to pop out. At last I was shown into a massive and ostentatious drawing room. I’m not going to tell you what it was like! You know, cut diamond chandeliers, gold this, gold fucking that! Oh God, where is she? The footman bowed,  asked me to kindly wait, and walked through some open glass doors into the garden.
Kindly wait! What a difference rank makes. But I waited and while wilting under the wait of Topaz, I noticed the sun was high and bright and it was hard to see out into the bright light, peer as I might. I heard the respectful voice of the footman recede, then the voice of Topaz approaching. My mouth was dry I couldn’t swallow. Could I speak? Would I be dumb, dumber, like Lupo? Perhaps even mute. Worse than Lupo.
There was silence. Had she left? Oh no! Please God let me see her, see her close.
 Still silence. Then I heard the click, click of a woman’s shoes approaching. Was it her?
 I felt sick, my stomach began to heave, tasted the sharp bitterness of vomit on my throat. Would that be my worship of her? Retching at her feet, to show my devotion?
Click, click, click.  I tried to force it back but I could not swallow. Her voice close. ‘Yes daddy! I’m getting him now!’ Getting him? She had got me like a frozen animal. Hunted on a Christmas day.  I saw a movement of light and shadow, closing beauty, now a predator. Have you felt that moment before advancing death, when all is paralysed? And there she was, a live haunting of the woken dream, and now the song was a paean, a glory to her softness of shape in the harsh light, she was framed in it, legs astride, confident of her breeding, her beauty. She stood, a bright silhouette of perfection, lofty like the genius of high art, and God! She radiated glory! She hung on to the door pillars, so her arms were stretched out, and thus pilloried in the halo of  divinity, a female Christ, the sun’s rays torching the blonde curls of her bouncing hair, that fell and touched her moist and shining skin. She moved in and down a step, and there was her lovely face. She smiled, and I was helpless in thrilling despair. I wanted to fall to my knees, to say grace to the God that created this exquisite perfection. ‘Why, Two Club, what is that uniform? Have you moved up in your station in life? Are you going to be our doorman at the summer ball?’ Somehow, I think because she had been so stupid, I found my voice.
 ‘No, ma’am, I have been promoted to an officer in my army.’
 She nodded indifferently. ‘Oh, so what are you, a junior lieutenant?’
‘A Captain, ma’am.’ I thought it time to transfer. She was wearing a lemon silk gown with matching heeled slippers. Time to creep. ‘If I may say so, ma’am, you look quite charming in your attire, lovely colour.’
She seemed to have to think about that. ‘You may say so and I am relieved to see that you are not tying to impress me with your dreadful poetry. Some of my guests were most offended by it, especially your Prince John, and the Prince of Spades, Victor. Needless to say I was appalled and not too happy about your throwing me to the floor.’
 She lifted an elbow for my inspection, should I kiss it better? I bowed as humbly as I could, but not as much as before when I was a Two Club. ‘My abject apologies, your Highness.’
 She pouted. ‘Yes, well I should think so. I really don’t know who bought you your commission. I am confident that your Prince John would not approve!’
 I bowed again. ‘I believe it was paid for in diamonds, Ma’am.’  She snorted. ‘Humpre! Was it so? Well, I do not approve.’ I bowed again.
‘No, Ma’am.’ She tuned abruptly and walked out in to the Royal gardens.
‘Right, well follow me, Two Club.’
I followed her out into the gardens, and for a moment was blinded by the sun in my face. I tripped over a terracotta flowerpot filled with powerful-smelling geraniums. This caused her to turn and look back. ‘Do be careful, Two Club, Mummy will be cross!’ She stopped with her hands on her hips, as I jumped up and down, rubbing my ankle. ‘And by the way,’ she continued. ‘You may admire me, but do not gape. I am sick of your gaping, goggling and chocolate-box poetry. Now, for some reason that completely baffles me, my father, mother, and brother David wish to see you.’
 The fact that I was still hissing with pain wincing and jumping up and down while I rubbed my ankle and big toe, seemed to add emphasis to her doubts.
 ‘And they seemed to be in a hurry, so follow me and do hurry up!’ She was a tall long legged girl, so it was difficult to keep up with her at a hop. I followed her perilously along the path, which was flanked by a double herbaceous border. The focal point was a massive but elegant red and gold timber pavilion, which blended harmoniously with the verdant landscape beyond.
 Seated on one of the circles of stone, blue-cushioned benches within the pavilion was a rather forlorn Prince David, his chin resting on an ivory cane. Before he looked up Topaz turned to me with a teasing and alluring smile. ‘Here you are my pretty puppet, my sad brother requests your company first. (Her smile dropped.) God knows why!’ What could I say? She held me by my own strings of folly.
When we reached the patio, Prince David looked up slowly, he wore a wig and bow and had rouge on his cheeks, dressed in an exquisitely embroidered coat and waistcoat with matching slippers. Topaz bade me to sit rather as she would a dog. In fact, I noticed, two well-groomed deerhound dogs, held by two bored looking grooms on the edge of the path, sat as instructed.
The prince stood. ‘No, Captain, do not sit (he shot a glance at Topaz) and little Sis, do not talk to the good Captain Jeffery as if he were one of your poor hounds, he is our guest.’ I was going to like David. Topaz pouted again. ‘Come, Jeffery.’ He walked briskly away, I had to almost run to keep up, they were all tall, except the Queen. When we were out of earshot and standing by a rhododendron bush, he turned and stood uncomfortably close. ‘You don’t mind me calling you Jeffery do you?’ I was dumbfounded at this level of intimacy with a prince and could only nod. ‘Good, you can call me David, while we are alone of course. I must apologise about my rather garrulous sister, she has a very cold and distant manner with men. You’re not the first to suffer her avalanche of ice.’ He paused and winced as if in pain.
‘Are you all right, Your Highness?’  
 ‘David. No, my heart suffers.’  I was concerned, he seemed such a nice chap. ‘No Jeffery, and you the poet! I am in love.’
 ‘My God, I should have seen it, for I am in love too!’  I exclaimed, glancing around furtively at Topaz. He slapped me playfully on the shoulder.
‘Not with my silly sister!’  
‘Oh God, sire, your pardon, I am discovered.’
 ‘Don’t be silly, Jeffery it is good to get it off your chest. Now I will unburden myself. (He grabbed my arm.) But you must tell no one. (I shook my head.) It is so frustrating to keep it suppressed, I want to tell the world! You see I am in love, oh so in love with Princess Collette, of your suit!’
 This did not take me by surprise, for, I remembered that embarrassing scene when I had knocked over Topaz, Prince Montague of Hearts, and David glancing longingly at Collette. He shook me. ‘What Jeffery, what?’
‘Well, David, I’m afraid…’
 ‘What? Do not tell me she is taken?’ He was shaking me hard now.
‘No sire, I do not think so, but I noticed yesterday that someone else had eyes for her.’ ‘Oh, you mean Prince Montague? (I nodded.) Yes I know of him, presently we compete. He used to be a good friend. I hate him now.’ I couldn’t but comprehend the delicious irony that Topaz thought all the princes had eyes for her.
 ‘How can I help and be of service, Sire?’  
‘We will help each other Jeffery. I have been informed that you will soon act as a sort of ambassador. In this capacity you are bound to meet Collette. When you do you must find out, discretely of course, her feelings for me. In exchange, when you next meet the Rabbi I will send my sister in a coach that will accompany him. Between now and then I shall persuade my little Topaz what a silly arse she is for not falling head over heels for you, deal?’ He held out his hand. ‘Deal?’ I complied taking Prince David’s hand. A thought occurred to me.
 ‘May I ask, David, why you do not simply go to Clubland and declare your devotion to Collette your self?’
 He looked a little irritated. ‘ Have you not read Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet?’  ‘Of course.’
 ‘Well, that is the problem with all the suits, my parents, as kind as they are, would not support a marriage with a Gentile. Your Club King, mad as he is, will not condone a mixed marriage, nor the Spade Pope, and who would marry a Hedonist? Yet the pathetic thing is, it would stop the suits wars.’  I nodded in agreement.  He patted me on the back. ‘Come, Jeffery my parents have arrived.’
With a pat on the back he guided me back to the patio. We had been so deep in amorous intrigue that I hadn’t noticed the King and Queen had just arrived. Footmen hovered and fussed with cushions, fans and sunshades. They sat. I was surprised to notice that they were, unlike their offspring, casually dressed, the Queen, in a loose  gown of her bedchamber, the King just in a loose shirt and tights.
 When the King saw us approaching, .he sprang to his feet and stared aggressively at me. ‘Ah, Captain! I want a word with you! You knocked over my daughter yesterday, come with me!’ He ordered, in his high pitched voice and grabbed my arm.
 ‘Oh don’t be too harsh with him, dear’ the Queen beseeched.  I caught a glimpse of Topaz, who was smiling and very pleased with my plight, before the king had pulled me away. I felt shocked and alarmed, indeed I should have expected a rebuke by her parents before. When we were out of hearing, the king, with one last shake, let go of me ready for confrontation. He wagged his forefinger under my nose. ‘Tell me now. Pauline can’t hear. Did you catch her, see her with anyone else?’
 I was so surprised by the informality, with names and the fact that he wasn’t actually ticking me off, but pretending to, that at first I didn’t comprehend who he meant by Pauline, then I realized he meant the Queen.  ‘Why, Your Majesty I thought you were going to chastise me for knocking over your daughter.’
 ‘What? Oh no, did her good I shouldn’t wonder (he said, still wagging his finger and squealing). No, my Queen, is she faithful to me?’
 I tried to scramble and collect my thoughts together. Yes, on this occasion just tell the truth, especially to a powerful king, whose daughter I loved. I conveyed to him exactly what happened that day, especially the words of her Lady-in- waiting. The King looked surprised and very pleased with himself. ‘She said that?’ I nodded.
 ‘Oh yes Sire and if you will allow me to say, I don’t think the Queen is unfaithful but just jealous of the rumoured relationship you are alleged to have with an actress.’
 He was still wagging his finger at me and I thought I had gone too far. ‘Good (he said to my relief), now tell no one of this conversation. Come and join my family.’  ‘Honoured, Sire.’
He turned back to me. ‘ But look a bit humbled.’ I drooped my shoulders and copied Topaze’s pout. He smiled. ‘Yes good, good. Better than my actress friend.’
Queen Pauline looked up as we approached. ‘What was that, dear? The King coughed. ‘I was telling the Captain not to offend again. Now be off, Captain, and don’t forget to report to me with any more news.’
I clicked my heels and bowed. ‘No, wait,’ the Queen demanded. Jeffery will you not join us for tea?’ Topaz and the King were about to protest. But the Queen insisted, called over a valet and ordered tea for all. Now I felt as if I had really arrived. Tea was outrageously expensive and I had never drunk it before. It was five pounds an ounce, only the very rich could afford it. In fact, it was rumoured that in Clubland, Prince John had it for breakfast.
  The Queen motioned me to sit next to her. ‘Your uniform suits you. Captain.’ ‘Thank you Ma’am.’ She looked directly into my eyes and tapped me on the knee. ‘Tell me, Captain, was my crafty King really telling you off?’
 To my relief, from behind us I heard a tea trolley rattling over the gravel. It gave me time to pause as I looked over my shoulder to see the butler leading the two footmen who pushed it.  The King sighed. ‘Ah! Saved by the tea.’ The Queen turned on him. ‘What is saved, dear?’ The King coughed again. ‘Why, my parched throat, my dear.’ She scoffed. ‘You mean passions.’
When the trolley was brought to a tinkling halt beside the Queen, I noticed a silver chain and padlock around the tea caddie. There was a stony silence, until the Queen turned to the butler. ‘Well, Epsom, why do you not pour out the tea?’ Epsom stood paralysed with embarrassment. ‘Well?’ the Queen coerced. Epsom shuffled uncomfortably on his feet.
‘A thousand pardons, Your Majesty, but I regret the keys have been lost.’
‘Lost! How?’ the Queen snapped, apparently angry with Epsom, but in reality I think she was angry, very angry with the King.
 Epsom’s face was lined, as if in pain. ‘Well of course, Ma’am, I will assume responsibility, but I believe it was the Two Club scullery maid. You can fetch quite a price for tea on the Clubland black market.’
 Topaz laughed in a cutting way obviously directed at me. ‘A Two Club, well, that doesn’t surprise me!’  
 ‘No, Princess Topaz, Ma’am.’ Epsom replied cajolingly.
 I stood up and bowed at the Royal party. ‘With respect Majesties, I cannot stay while my suit is so insulted.’ The king’s high-pitched voice cut through the pagoda.
‘Very honourable, but lamentable, Captain, what do you propose to do about it?’
 I glanced at the padlock. ‘Well, Sire, I am a Master Locksmith.’
 The Queen applauded lightly. ‘Oh, what fun, like a party game before tea. Pick the padlock for your tea! You have my permission, Captain.’ I bowed and moved over to the trolley to inspect the lock and heard them all crowd around behind. I lifted the heavy silver padlock in my hand, and fondled it. It was a Jackson 21. My father had shown me how to open a Parks Jackson 19. It was alleged that Jackson, the Two Spade, stole the patent and developed the 21.
I pulled out a set of master keys from my pocket and tried them all. None of them would fit. My last resort, a flexible metal rod made by my father, had small shafts that you could pull out at the end, rather like a penknife. I tried one then another and was about to give up, when I remembered my father working on the 19. And yes! Epsom had said keys. First insert a small shaft and turn a pin to the left, opposite lock then a larger shaft, turn more gently to the left, and twist sharply right. I heard the tumbler click with a heavy resonance. What cunning Jackson had. There was a call of rapture from behind me and loud applause. They were all clapping including Topaz, who smiled at me with a smile remembered in many dreams.
 To my surprise the king pulled the real key from his pocket. ‘Well done, Captain, you have passed the test!’ Yes, I thought ironically, but would I reach the future? Just how dangerous was this journey going to be?